To think my partner acted like an absolute child!

[Shineshinecoast10]

Over the weeked me, DS, DP and her DD were at an event. I brought 2 camp chairs and thought she would bring along hers. She didn't. So we had 2 between 4 of us. Anyway I didn't mind standing. Me and DS came back from the toilet and DP and her DD were sitting on the chairs. My DS sat on the floor. I politely asked DP if he could sit on the chair instead.
She got in the biggest strop. Involved her DD and told her DD to get out of the seat and they both went and sat on the floor. I said her DD was fine to sit in the seat and I didn't want her DD to move. They both wouldn't talk to us and she created a frosty atmosphere.
My DS who is 6 then went up to them both to show them something. She made a comment to him saying I thought you wanted to sit down, go on, go sit down. It was me who asked for him to sit down not him.

I jumped in here and said this comment was uncalled for and for her to stop it. I didn't get an apology for the childish behaviour.

If it were the other way around I would not have minded giving my seat up for her DD. Me and DP are adults and I don't think a fuss should be made.

AIBU to think she behaved like a bratty child?

Surely adults sitting on chairs and kids on the floor is perfectly normal though??

I think @madasawethen has a good point about why there might not have been enough chairs in the first place! Perhaps a conversation about who was bringing what was needed. And as there obviously weren't enough chairs, acknowledgment about who would use them e.g. 'Are you okay standing DP, I don't mind etc.'

If you otherwise have a good connection and she isn't usually like this, then you need to TALK IT THROUGH. Talking always helps, even the things that seem minor like this can show up different ways of thinking and talking helps you understand them.

If you suspect she invariably wants her own way and has a habit of flying off the handle though, you might want to reconsider the relationship.

She sounds like an utter twat. Dump her and keep the chairs.

Hmm, very sarky in your comment there @KettrickenSmiled . People do adopt roles within relationships and that is quite normal. One person may lead in some areas; and take a back seat in others. In a newish relationship, all these things are being negotiated.

Off the point but were you at Fake Fest? I blooming love Fake Fest

In a newish relationship, all these things are being negotiated.

It's 2 adults from 2 different households isn't it?

So why would one be responsible for all the chairs or reminding another adult to take their own chairs?

Why are you prioritising a relationship with someone as petty and unpleasant as your so partner is?

Because they are in a relationship and would presumably have been planning the day together??? Some discussion surely

No she didn't contribute to the event at all. I actually brought her food for lunch before this

Neither one of us takes the lead, it's more a joint effort. She just assumed I would bring chairs and I assumed she would bring hers. This was not discussed. Even if we had discussed and brought 2 chairs, it's more about the tantrum she pulled because i politely asked if DS could sit on a seat

YWBU in moving an adult for a 6 yr old to sit down - 6 yr olds are usually quite happy sitting on the floor/ground.

Your partner was being very very unreasonable in being nasty to a 6 yr old.

Note the word you used there "usually". So not always. I'm sure OP asked for their son to sit on the chair for a reason. Maybe he'd been standing all the time so far. Maybe he was tired. Maybe it was muddy. Maybe the ground was uncomfortable.

The DP didn't have to go and sit straight on the floor. If she had been sat in the chair she could have stood for a while or had her DD come sit on her knee so the DS could also sit down.

Another thing that annoyed me was getting her DD involved when she didn't need to. It created a divide between us and then her DD sat on the floor even though I left the seat empty for her and said she could still sit on the chair. Her mum obviously made her feel like she had to take her side and not sit on the seat

Because they are in a relationship and would presumably have been planning the day together??? Some discussion surely

If there has been no discussion though you then surely take what you want for yourself-not rely on the other person thinking for you?

Hard to judge without being there. Taking two chairs would come across to me as a bit thoughtless; presumably you could either have brought four or told her to bring a couple as well. I’d be a bit nonplussed about being turfed out of a seat for a child as well. Was your DS whining/complaining about not having a seat? That may explain her irritation. Otherwise, it did seem an unkind reaction.

I wouldn't want anyone doing that to my child. Was he upset by her? I'd struggle with someone doing that to him regardless of if he understood what she was doing or not

Your partner is manipulative & immature.
That's likely to escalate.

I only had 2 chairs to take at home and that's why I assumed she would bring hers.
Ds wasn't whinging or whining. I just asked if she minded if he could sit on the chair so he didn't get mucky sitting on the floor

Hard to judge without being there. Taking two chairs would come across to me as a bit thoughtless, whereas taking none is fine is it?

I’d probably say one of the chairs is your DS’s, so up to her who gives up their seat. I’d hope she’d quickly realise how ridiculous she was being.

But not non-plussed at seeing your own child sitting in a chair?

And why is it OP’s responsibility to bring chairs for all?

I think I need to leave this relationship.

Last night I would normally see her as it's my child free night. I decided not to because I'm tired and I knew her and her DD are and will be getting ready for school. I've been working on my boundaries in therapy and for once decided to put myself first and say i wished to stay at home last night.

She the proceeded to say later she felt unloved starting from last night because I hadn't made an effort to come over ( I normally always do). Saying she felt like this relationship was a friendship etc. I had phoned her before and asked if she minded and she said no of course not and now all this behaviour.

@Shineshinecoast10 I am sorry you think you need to leave the relationship but I think from what you have said that would be a good idea, it all sounds very oppressive and unhealthy

If I were the DP in this scenario I might have been a little insulted to be asked to give up my chair for a six year old.
In my world the adults would get first dibs on the chairs (one of the privileges of old age); following that the "ladies first" rule would apply.
What's wrong with kids sitting on the floor anyway?

What bothers me the most is how dp spoke to your child. That'd be the end of it for me. No one treats my child like that. Especially not an adult who is supposed to love / care for him. I'm not quick to say get rid but here I just would. How horrible for your son to be spoken to like that.