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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my partner acted like an absolute child!

149 replies

Shineshinecoast10 · 05/09/2022 09:57

Over the weeked me, DS, DP and her DD were at an event. I brought 2 camp chairs and thought she would bring along hers. She didn't. So we had 2 between 4 of us. Anyway I didn't mind standing. Me and DS came back from the toilet and DP and her DD were sitting on the chairs. My DS sat on the floor. I politely asked DP if he could sit on the chair instead.
She got in the biggest strop. Involved her DD and told her DD to get out of the seat and they both went and sat on the floor. I said her DD was fine to sit in the seat and I didn't want her DD to move. They both wouldn't talk to us and she created a frosty atmosphere.
My DS who is 6 then went up to them both to show them something. She made a comment to him saying I thought you wanted to sit down, go on, go sit down. It was me who asked for him to sit down not him.

I jumped in here and said this comment was uncalled for and for her to stop it. I didn't get an apology for the childish behaviour.

If it were the other way around I would not have minded giving my seat up for her DD. Me and DP are adults and I don't think a fuss should be made.

AIBU to think she behaved like a bratty child?

OP posts:
Unanananana · 05/09/2022 11:10

Shineshinecoast10 · 05/09/2022 11:00

I don't know what triggered this behaviour. She does like to get her own way most of the time

Show quote history

Eww. How is that attractive? Sounds like you have another child on your hands.

10HailMarys · 05/09/2022 11:11

She sounds absolutely horrible and has a nasty, bullying attitude towards your child. Stop being such a wet blanket and stand up for yourself. Ideally by walking out of her life.

carefullycourageous · 05/09/2022 11:13

I couldn't be doing with this! Maybe have a rethink. Poor kids! I agree they could have sat on the floor but seriously, who gets that arsey with a 6yo?

roarfeckingroarr · 05/09/2022 11:19

Why did your 6 year old need the seat rather than your partner? Why couldn't he sit on the floor rather than the adult?

lunar1 · 05/09/2022 11:25

Unless it a one off and wildly out of character then they would be an ex at this point. Life is too short to put up with drama like this.

girlmom21 · 05/09/2022 11:27

roarfeckingroarr · 05/09/2022 11:19

Why did your 6 year old need the seat rather than your partner? Why couldn't he sit on the floor rather than the adult?

Because it's his fecking chair!

Ihatethenewlook · 05/09/2022 11:36

roarfeckingroarr · 05/09/2022 11:19

Why did your 6 year old need the seat rather than your partner? Why couldn't he sit on the floor rather than the adult?

Why do people keep saying this?! The op is a grown up who is responsible for his child’s comfort. He brought him and his child a chair each, and reasonably assumed that his girlfriend who is also being a grown up with a child would bring whatever they needed to be comfortable for the event. If another adult was too short sighted or lazy to bring their own chair, then why on earth do they get to kick someone’s else’s child out of theirs for their own comfort?? The ops child should come first above this spiteful cow who was absolutely vile to a small child because she couldn’t get her own way

Xoxoxoxoxoxox · 05/09/2022 11:40

Did your partner contribute to the event in other ways, bring tents, food, drive you there?
If I had driven everyone to an event I would like to think my partner would offer me a chair, it’s difficult to get the whole picture.
I agree she was unacceptably stroppy to your son though.

Ihatethenewlook · 05/09/2022 11:42

girlmom21 · 05/09/2022 11:27

Because it's his fecking chair!

Show quote history

This. It’s not hard to see who the kind and considerate person is, and who’s an utter dickhead. The op brought a chair for him and his child. His girlfriend brought none. The op immediately handed his chair over to the girlfriends child, putting both of the children first. But then the ops girlfriend took the ops sons chair and then spat her dummy out and bullied him when the op asked for it back. I can’t believe people think the op is in the wrong here

diddl · 05/09/2022 11:45

roarfeckingroarr · 05/09/2022 11:19

Why did your 6 year old need the seat rather than your partner? Why couldn't he sit on the floor rather than the adult?

Perhaps he didn't want to sit on the floor but was happier in the chair that Op had provided for him!

whynotwhatknot · 05/09/2022 11:53

she sounds like a rude cow who shouts at a 6 year old like that-if she wanted a chair she should have brought one or asked you to bring her one if she doesnt have any

FOJN · 05/09/2022 11:55

I understand the posts about adults having the chairs and the children sitting in the ground it's not the main issue for me.

The DP assumed her seating would be provided by OP but didn't discuss this prior to the event and then having not brought her own chair expected the OP and DS to give them up for her and her daughter. It's entitled behaviour.

The strop is incredibly childish and drawing a little boy into her argument is unacceptable.

She needs to apologise and grow up although I think that's expecting more than she is capable of. How much are you prepared to tolerate for this relationship? Does your son deserve to be treated this way by your partner?

madasawethen · 05/09/2022 12:15

This incident probably isn't the only problem there has been.
If you're not happy, end it.

Did you actually check with her before to see if she was bringing the chairs or did you just assume she was?

My late DH was a provider and leader. I'm not talking about money.
If we were going somewhere like you went, he would make sure we had everything we'd need. All the chairs, bug spray, rain jackets, first aid kit, cooler with drinks, car full tank, tyres checked, etc. whatever was needed.

If it was a picnic or cookout, I would prepare most of the food to take but he would pack it in the car.

In this case, I wouldn't be too happy with you and wouldn't see you again as you wouldn't care about being a leader or provider and didn't care about our well being.

Justcallmebebes · 05/09/2022 12:23

I wouldn't be impressed with someone turfing me out of a chair so a 6 year old could sit down. That's what's really unreasonable here and I don't blame her for being miffed

girlmom21 · 05/09/2022 12:25

Justcallmebebes · 05/09/2022 12:23

I wouldn't be impressed with someone turfing me out of a chair so a 6 year old could sit down. That's what's really unreasonable here and I don't blame her for being miffed

Don't be ridiculous. The child was sat there and only went to the toilet, and it was his chair. If you want a chair, bring your own. If you want to be the centre of the universe, don't date someone with a child.

KettrickenSmiled · 05/09/2022 12:26

I don't know what triggered this behaviour. She does like to get her own way most of the time

YANBU. Leave The Bitch.

Your 6 year old child will be happier without her around. So will you be, after a little grieving for the woman you must have initially thought she was.

diddl · 05/09/2022 12:27

In this case, I wouldn't be too happy with you and wouldn't see you again as you wouldn't care about being a leader or provider and didn't care about our well being.

😂😂😂

KettrickenSmiled · 05/09/2022 12:27

Justcallmebebes · 05/09/2022 12:23

I wouldn't be impressed with someone turfing me out of a chair so a 6 year old could sit down. That's what's really unreasonable here and I don't blame her for being miffed

I wouldn't be impressed with an adult who didn't bring her own chair on a camping trip, then got arsey with a small child over her own lack of planning.

NewHopeNow · 05/09/2022 12:30

And that would be the end of that for me. Ds every day of the week.

MzHz · 05/09/2022 12:30

She’s not much of a partner at all. Wtf are you doing wasting your time with her?

KettrickenSmiled · 05/09/2022 12:32

In this case, I wouldn't be too happy with you and wouldn't see you again as you wouldn't care about being a leader or provider and didn't care about our well being.

Aaaaaw @madasawethen I think you've accidentally posted on the wrong forum.
This is mumsnet. Surrenderedwives.com is over there >>>>

MadeForThis · 05/09/2022 12:43

She's spoilt and nasty.

Herejustforthisone · 05/09/2022 12:50

Get rid of anyone who is prepared to be a cunt to your small son just to point score.

StClare101 · 05/09/2022 12:56

I would also have told her DD to move so both adults had the chairs. Her attitude is concerning because:

  • she expected you to sit on the floor while her DD took a chair (what the actual?)
  • she was rude to your child
Honestly I’d walk away from the relationship.
girlmom21 · 05/09/2022 12:57

Herejustforthisone · 05/09/2022 12:50

Get rid of anyone who is prepared to be a cunt to your small son just to point score.

Sound advice!