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AIBU?

Should I keep my daughter off school today

116 replies

Itsaballs · 05/09/2022 07:20

My Dd (11) started her 1st period late last night, I helped clean her up and showed her how to put on a pad, but should I send her to school? She hasn’t had a chance get used to wearing, romoving, disposing and replacing a new pad yet She is in primary school and they only started back last weds.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

218 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
52%
You are NOT being unreasonable
48%
moistmingemist · 05/09/2022 07:22

If she's anxious about it yes definitely. Just keep her at home for the day. Bless her so young to start her periods.

beeswa · 05/09/2022 07:23

My daughter started hers in year 5. I got her some period underwear from sainsburys . think body form sell them in the sanitary product aisle . Until i could get others . Sainsburys didn't sell them in store .

She uses period pants now and it's the best thing for her , she's autistic and wouldn't cope with the pads .

kimchifox · 05/09/2022 07:26

I probably would just to give her a day to get used to what she needs to do and how often she needs to change her pad. Hope she's feeling ok about it. You know her best though so do what's best for her. Having said that you need to get her back to school asap so she doesn't think you stay home every time you have a period Wink

mdh2020 · 05/09/2022 07:41

I think she needs to go to school. Presumably she has just started in a new school and not being there for her first Monday will make her more anxious than dealing with a period. Send her to school but contact her form tutor and / or HoY

Flutterbybudget · 05/09/2022 07:45

If you’re at home, then I’d keep her off school for the day. It’s not going to do any harm

Flutterbybudget · 05/09/2022 07:45

mdh2020 · 05/09/2022 07:41

I think she needs to go to school. Presumably she has just started in a new school and not being there for her first Monday will make her more anxious than dealing with a period. Send her to school but contact her form tutor and / or HoY

Doesn’t sound as if it’s a new school, if she’s in Primary

FitFat · 05/09/2022 07:47

Only keep her off if she asks you.

seven201 · 05/09/2022 07:47

I'd keep her off just for today while she gets used to it. I'm a teacher.

MisgenderedSwan · 05/09/2022 07:50

I'd keep her off. You can be there to support her and give her confidence so that when she goes in tomorrow she will be fine. It's a big change.

Goldbar · 05/09/2022 07:52

I'd keep her off, especially if she didn't sleep well, so that she isn't tired and anxious for her first time having to deal with this at school.

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 05/09/2022 07:52

I would send her in and I certainly wouldn't be telling school about it as a PP suggested.

I would have been mortified if my Mum had done that!

ChagSameachDoreen · 05/09/2022 07:53

Nope. She needs to learn to deal with her periods. She'll be having them for the next forty-odd years.

LittleMG · 05/09/2022 07:56

Definitely keep her off, she needs her mum close x

Simplelobsterhat · 05/09/2022 07:57

My dds first was very light so it would have seemed like overkill to keep her off I think. And they have varied massively since so there isn't such a thing as being used to how often she needs to change a pad yet if you see what I mean. It's still a learning curve 8 months in.

If shes very anxious about it or doesn't seem to understand what to do then yes I'd keep her off. But it make it very clear this is a one off!

If she seems to get it, dont make a big deal, just make sure she knows to go to toilet with a pad every break to check and change and ask teacher to go in between if feels like there's been a gush or something. Also probably worth letting teacher or other school staff know in case there is a problem or maybe in primary not all cubicles will have bins so they'll need to have a subtle word about where to go.

Alloftheboys · 05/09/2022 07:57

Does the school have sanitary bins in the toilets? Our primary didn’t.
If not I’d speak to a teacher and see if she’s allowed to use a staff toilet or they can provide a bin.

carefullycourageous · 05/09/2022 07:58

Yes I'd keep her off but explain to her it is a 'training day' and also explain to her that as much as possible periods need to be something that we try to learn to get used to so they don't get in the way of education/work/life. It's really not easy when they start so young, feel sorry for them!

ClocksGoingBackwards · 05/09/2022 07:58

I’d send her. Changing a pad isn’t exactly difficult. I don’t remember anyone getting a day off school for starting their periods when I was young, and we’d have tried for any excuse.

sidewayswalking · 05/09/2022 07:59

ChagSameachDoreen · 05/09/2022 07:53

Nope. She needs to learn to deal with her periods. She'll be having them for the next forty-odd years.

The whole thread is OP asking if she should give her DD the chance to learn about her period by giving her time.

I would keep mine off without hesitation. Time is more valuable than people realise.

Itsaballs · 05/09/2022 07:59

We are in Ireland so she’s in 5th yr of primary school, I know she’s in pain with them cause that was her complaint last nite, I told her to try to go 4 a poop but then she called me in and said “I think I know where the pain was coming from” bless her , I’ve always been honest about body stuff so she wasn’t shocked but I think I’d better keep her off, I’ve no idea of her flow and I know she’d b mortified if she leaked at school… plus it gives me a chance to pack her an emergency period kit 4 her school bag… and suggestions for the period kit?

OP posts:
carefullycourageous · 05/09/2022 08:00

sidewayswalking · 05/09/2022 07:59

The whole thread is OP asking if she should give her DD the chance to learn about her period by giving her time.

I would keep mine off without hesitation. Time is more valuable than people realise.

Yes I thought similar - @ChagSameachDoreen 's post made no sense as how can you learn quickly without help?

jeaux90 · 05/09/2022 08:00

Honestly I would keep her off the first day so you can get her used to changing etc.

I bought mine modibodi period pants, as they have ones that they can use all day without the faff of changing.

It's her first day so she'll be sitting there uncomfortable in the pad etc

ittakes2 · 05/09/2022 08:01

My first period was as like a flood and I had to change every hour and I nearly fainted while standing in church!! Be guided by her.

alwaysdarkestbeforedawn · 05/09/2022 08:01

How does she feel? Surely you have time before school to show her how to change a pad?! If she feels confident and wants to go then send her. If she’s nervous or feels unwell at all (cramps etc) then let her stay home. Maybe even just keep her home for the morning to give her chance to change a pad a couple of times or (even better imo) pop to the shops and get some period pants. They are easier to use and far less damaging to the environment. I think your daughter is best placed to make this decision. Not strangers on MN. 🤷‍♀️

sheepdogdelight · 05/09/2022 08:02

I'd send her. She might well be able to get away with not changing her pad during the school day, and she has to go to school with a period at some point!
Plus I assume it's either first day/very early on in term, so not a good day to miss?

Also, it's very likely that all her friends will rally round :)

whatbitme · 05/09/2022 08:03

Is it hurting her?

Would keep her off to learn the ropes
I came home my dad collected me I was so shocked at my period and it hurt sooo much I just remember the pain and then I went to the toilet and blood

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