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Original poster

Should I keep my daughter off school today

116 replies

Itsaballs · 05/09/2022 07:20

My Dd (11) started her 1st period late last night, I helped clean her up and showed her how to put on a pad, but should I send her to school? She hasn’t had a chance get used to wearing, romoving, disposing and replacing a new pad yet She is in primary school and they only started back last weds.

OP posts:
Hurrrrrah · 05/09/2022 08:53

I wouldn't keep her off, she'll expect time off everytime she has a period. It really isn't that difficult to change a pad, I started my periods pretty young and never had time off, I just got on with it. Unless she's unwell with it she should be in school.

sundayvibeswig22 · 05/09/2022 08:54

You made the right decision. I'd keep my dd off in those circumstances and have a day at home chilling and allowing for any questions.

Penny's/ primark do period pants. My dd hasn't started hers yet but I've a little bag in her backpack with a pair of pants and sanitary pad.

mam0918 · 05/09/2022 08:54

chinuptitsoutonwards · 05/09/2022 08:42

Poor baby :(

Keep her off! I started my periods at ten and my mum sent me in. It was not good.

She’ll be very emotional. Very scared, very nervous and maybe a bit embarrassed - even if she doesn’t articulate it. One day of school be it the first or whatever does not matter.

Also keep an eye out on the products she’s using. My mum put me in full sized sanitary towels and I was so little that they chafed my thighs to the degree the blistered and I needed medication because it got infected.

If a child has been educated about her body properly she should not be remotely scared or nervous... that would be a failing on behalf of the parent.

The idea that we all become emotional wrecks on our period is a lazy and offensive cliche too.

How is it embarassing btw, when I was a teen it was a badge of honor among girls, everyone wanted to be the first to get it and no one wanted to be the only one who hadnt. It was common open convosation among peers not 'embarassing'.

fUNNYfACE36 · 05/09/2022 08:55

This reply has been deleted

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MyneighbourisTotoro · 05/09/2022 08:56

@Itsaballs My DD has a small drawstring bag that has a few different sized pads in it along with a spare pair of knickers and some wet wipes.
Period pants are worth looking into if you can find any that will fit your DD.

milproblem · 05/09/2022 08:57

Yes I definitely would keep her off x

Whatwouldscullydo · 05/09/2022 08:58

I dont get people who make a huge deal out of periods, 55% of the population get them for half their lives, they're not a disability in themselves (yes some people have illnesses related to them but thats a seperate thing and people overacting about all periods actually takes away from those who legitimately struggle)

Things actually turn into a much bigger deal if you are thrown right in without even a chance to make sure what you have is sufficient. I was 16 when I started and it was still awkward figuring it all out because no one talked about it. No one checked the pads were OK.. no one explained my options past the free samples from the hygiene lecture. I had to save up bus fare chance and paper round money to even have a bag to take the spare pads in.

I leaked all the time especially at night and I had to steal my mums super plus tampons which hurt because no one even suggested I try them and by a range of the sizes.

But its OK cos i didn't miss school and no one made a big deal out of it 🙄

They only become no big deal if catering for them becomes a big deal. Once you have it down you are good to go.

MyneighbourisTotoro · 05/09/2022 08:58

@fUNNYfACE36 tou should be ashamed of yourself! Who on earth insinuates a child is an idiot for needing some help with a pad!? My dd has been shown numerous times before her period started but she was so heavy and in so much pain she found it really difficult and overwhelming. What an awful person you are!

milproblem · 05/09/2022 08:58

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What an unpleasant comment . You’re not being helpful in any way and just nasty

georgarina · 05/09/2022 09:01

When I got my first period I went into my mams room and didnt even have to say anything, she didnt even look up from what she was doing and she just announced 'everything you need is in the bathroom, help yourself'.

How did you know what you were doing? You just guessed? Most people need more guidance than that

megletthesecond · 05/09/2022 09:03

A day off for her first period will probably make it easier for her going forward.

NiqueNique · 05/09/2022 09:03

Trolls gonna troll. Or twats gonna twat. Whatever the case may be, that individual can’t be a happy nor contented person, so I pity them.

@Itsaballs you've done the right thing. Periods are easy and straightforward for some women, and really not easy nor straightforward for many other women. Your daughter is lucky to have got your support and care to guide her in this (she’s still very young) and I’m sure she’ll appreciate some time to get used to this.

ememem84 · 05/09/2022 09:04

Period pants are a game changer.

also period swim suits. I wasn’t sure but bought myself one this summer - modibodi bikini bottoms and swim suit. Absolute life changer. So worth the money.

Hmmmwhatnametochoose · 05/09/2022 09:06

mamabear715 · 05/09/2022 08:39

And why were period pants invented AFTER I went through the change? I could WEEP..

THIS!!! I narrowly avoided the Dr Whites horrors that you wore with a belt.

Hmmmwhatnametochoose · 05/09/2022 09:07

georgarina · 05/09/2022 09:01

When I got my first period I went into my mams room and didnt even have to say anything, she didnt even look up from what she was doing and she just announced 'everything you need is in the bathroom, help yourself'.

How did you know what you were doing? You just guessed? Most people need more guidance than that

How did she know? Was she psychic???

Felixfriend · 05/09/2022 09:07

Itsaballs · 05/09/2022 08:34

I’m keeping her off I’ve decided, she’s a young 11 and is an only child (no big sisters to help her like I had) so my new post/question is… can anyone recommend what to put in an period kit for school bag and send any links to some good brand period pants ? Thanks

Not too much, it needs to be unobtrusive and fit in a small washbag type thing. In mind I remember I have 2 regular pads, 2 heavy pads, spare knickers, 2 paracetamols and a Taz chocolate bar (that usually got eaten when I wasn’t on my period!) Oh and 20ps for the pad machine in the sports centre… a rarity now I think.

Crocwok · 05/09/2022 09:08

How about a small make up bag- sanitary towels, spare pair of pants, perhaps some wipes. Doesn't need to be anything too much I'm sure she will adapt quickly. She won't be able to carry paracetamol on her person in primary school, if you feel she might need it need to speak to the office.

WavePlant · 05/09/2022 09:09

Well done for keeping her off. She’s already done her first day. Make today a treat day, have a film/treats/celebrate her and make it a great day she’ll always remember the love from you as an adult.

eskappe · 05/09/2022 09:09

Different children will need different things! DD9 still struggles with putting socks on and tying shoelaces - she would/will need a day off. And the uncertainty and emotional changes can take time to learn to deal with.

Great for the ones who didn't flap and worked it all out themselves - but sometimes that might just be your nature, not 'being sensible'.

Pillowbed · 05/09/2022 09:10

This.

Felixfriend · 05/09/2022 09:10

Oh and some disposable bags too

WavePlant · 05/09/2022 09:10

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 05/09/2022 07:52

I would send her in and I certainly wouldn't be telling school about it as a PP suggested.

I would have been mortified if my Mum had done that!

Why the fuck wouldn’t she tell the teacher at the school to help her if there’s a problem and give them the heads up s(e might be in pain or asking to go to the toilet every 30mins. This silence and secrecy is why you were mortified as back in the day it was something to hide and be ashamed of.

MercurialMonday · 05/09/2022 09:11

I'd get here period pants which are fine without any further protection cheeky wipe period pads or period pants - amazon do many types - for preventing leeks.

There is now period swim wear - even some on amazon I found.

It may depend on who well set up the primary school is - mine in 80s had bins and made sure we knew as part of preparation.

Otherwise a pencil case style bag - with change of pants - tights as well if she wears them, and some handy wet wipes in and pads in then useful.

I wasn't the only one starting in primary in 80s but oddly DC primary schools, they went to two, didn't seem to have the bins in the loos as a matter of course - so lucky they started in secondary really.

Sushi7 · 05/09/2022 09:15

@Itsaballs I was in Y6 when I started and I didn’t know what periods were. I’m in my mid 20s and my school didn’t teach us until a month before the summer holidays. I was traumatised. However, my mum (after her initial shock) showed me how to put a pad in my knickers and what I should do when I change (roll it up, put it in the new pad’s wrapper and then in the sanitary bin). I still went to school the next day because my mum was calm and didn’t make a fuss. This meant I wasn’t anxious.

I think it might be a good idea to have a quiet word with her teacher. The school needs to know so she can use the women’s staff toilet (they have sanitary bins). They’ll also understand why she has cramps etc if she has them.

Sceptre86 · 05/09/2022 09:17

I'd keep her off. I was 10 when I started and found out once I got home from school having had a sore tummy all day. In those days my primary school had no sanitary bins and they were very strict about us using the loo during lesson time. We also got changed for PE in the classroom which I no longer wanted to do when I had a pad on as it was obvious and i was concerned if i had leaked and somone saw. My mum wrote me a note to hand to my class teacher. It wasn't a badge of honour for me at that age, it was just a literal pain, very different to a teenager starting at high-school where it is expected and they have provisions in place. They didn't even keep spare sanitary pads incase they were needed.

Posters who say a first period is usually light might have found that to be their experience but mine wasn't and many other girls who start early have heavy periods. Plus flow can change from month to month and varies amongst all females.

She's your dd and you know her best. I don't think taking one day off wil set a precedent that she gets a week off each time she has a period. Just be clear that today is about teaching her how to change pads and clean yourself us if you have a leak. She can take time to ask questions should she have any and you could maybe go buy her some pads with her. Obviously you don't want to dramatise periods, for most they are not particularly painful and manageable but if she does have more pain or cramps, sore legs then having open dialogue will ensure she feels safe to come to you.