Should I keep my daughter off school today

[Itsaballs]

My Dd (11) started her 1st period late last night, I helped clean her up and showed her how to put on a pad, but should I send her to school? She hasn’t had a chance get used to wearing, romoving, disposing and replacing a new pad yet She is in primary school and they only started back last weds.

On the subject of period pants - DO NOT buy the ones from Primark! They are awful and leak really quickly.

Modibodi always get great reviews - pricey but worth it in the long run. Love Luna in Sainsbury’s are good but not sure if they are available in a small enough size for an 11 year old, or if they are available in Ireland…

Yes be kind and gentle . With all the knowledge and preparation in the world it’s still a horrible thing when you’re still so young. Do kit her out with a few different types of protection I absolutely hated winged things and never managed to get them to stick right. Period pants sound great they came out after I’d had an ablation so I never got to try them myself but they sound ideal! Until then you could suggest ordinary pants with black hot pants over the top for extra security? Also Ibruprofen instead or paracetamol as it stops the pain but also controls bleeding a bit and that’s always a bonus!
itll be okay in a year or so when a good number of other girls have it too. Enjoy a day together and school can wait , it won’t be listed on her university application that she had today off .

just because you didn’t have that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have had that. I hope you don’t have daughters. Same to all those on this thread saying send her in. She’s a child ffs trying to deal with something so many women struggle with. She has no idea of her flow. Or what to do or the sensations of knowing when to change a pad. The lack of care and concern is horrible. Where is the compassion abs care? Honestly I think women are more misogynistic than men sometimes.

Personally I wouldn't automatically tell the school - just if there were issues managing or if it came up but does depend on child and school I suppose.

But looking back I was well prepare by school in sex ed classes - which teachers best to approach made sure we knew bins were there -(and that was 80s) and by DMum having a small bad in my bag in case it happened in school and my own DDs were older and settled at secondary and had everything.

By secondary I was having to cope with vey heavy periods and was taking in pain killers - so I'm glad my DDs seem to have had it so much easier than me so far. So clearly experiences can vary even within families and a day of primary to get sorted doesn't sound like a bad idea.

Good to hear a positive review of period swimwear. I’ve considered them but don’t understand how being in the water doesn’t just rinse the blood out.

Nope, send her in.

She's 11, having a first period, it's not going to be gushing a tsunami out of her. If she puts a fresh one on just before you leave, and changes it as soon as she gets home, she'll be fine.

I’m finding the ‘pad her up and send her in’ brigade a bit harsh.
Being a strong, independent woman does not mean you have to show no compassion. Think this might be feminism turned on its head. Periods are not particularly pleasant - for so many different reasons. Let’s be honest about that!

Get period pants they are awesome. You can get shorts style etc. Plus some ibuprofen before school to lighten period if needed

Agree. Besides anything else, if she ends up having a leak in school, this is likely to be very unpleasant and embarrassing for her and may lead to anxiety around periods. This is much less likely to happen if she has a day at home first to practice managing her periods.

Teens don’t want to be the last one to start their period as this can seem like a rite of passage. Getting your period whilst still in primary school is very different. I said upthread my dd got hers at 11. She didn’t tell her 2 closest friends she had started. In fact they both thought that they started before her when they got theirs at age 13. None of the girls, who got their period whilst at primary at DD’s school, talked about getting them because contrary to being in a teen club, starting earlier than the norm is incredibly embarrassing. By year 6, most of the girls still look like little girls and a few have the body and hormones of a 14 yo. For this reason, these girls need extra special care.

DD started her period in the summer between Y5 and Y6 so she had a bit of time to get into the swing of things. In Yr 6 she had a little zip up pouch in her school bag that always had a couple of different pads, a spare pair of underwear, a little waterproof bag for any soiled underwear (I got it with some reusable pads I bought years ago) and a little travel pack of wet wipes in case she needed to clean/freshen up.

She is in secondary school now and is pretty well into the swing of things so she just keeps a smaller pouch in her blazer with a couple of pads/tampons and a little pack of wet wipes when she is on her period. She also has a locker to leave an Emergency Kit in so ai have made her a slightly more general kit with anything she might need that all fits in a makeup bag. As well as pads/tampons, spare pants in a ziplock bag she also has spare tights, mints and dental floss, a little roll on deodorant and a couple of those small perfume samples, spare hair ties and bobby pins, power bank for her phone, a handful of various sized plasters, wet wipes, paracetamol, hand sanitiser and hand cream, lip balm, stain pen bc she is always spilling something on her white shirts, safety pins in case she loses a button midway through the day, tiny screwdriver kit and screws for her glasses, a basic stationery set that you can usually get from the pound shop - pen, pencil, ruler, rubber, sharpener - to get her through the day if she forgot her pencil case etc.

It was invaluable as at least every item was used once at some point in the school year if not by DD then by a friend who didn't have something and asked DD who did, I think she brought it home at Christmas/Easter hols so we could replenish a few things that were running low but otherwise it stayed in her locker 24/7.

Modi bodi are the best ones my DD13 has tried.

The short style are particularly good for heavy periods and no leaking. We buy the black ones as they go under school uniform and sports kit easily etc.

Mine has ASD so struggles with the pads etc so these have been a game changer for her.

No, @Chipsahoy and @carefullycourageous I don’t know that no one ever got the day off- I said “none of us” clearly implying none of the girls in my family and friends circles.

nor did I say the OP shouldn’t give her the day off! I specifically said she should do what she thinks is right. My point was that I personally don’t feel it was made into as big a deal as many on here seem to think it is when I was younger, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. In that sense I agree with @mam0918

i don’t think my parents were perfect, no one is. They were bloody good though, and I don’t feel remotely hard done by.

I also find it hard to think that most women need help to put a pad in their pants @georgarina . Surely most girls can read or follow the pictures? Which isn’t to say a bit of help isn’t nice, or wanted, but I do think most girls will manage to follow the simple instructions.

and as for @chinuptitsoutonwards saying “poor baby”. She is not a baby. She is young but not very young especially by today’s standards. Yes “poor thing” in that she’s in pain. Of course. But as for assuming all young girls will be very nervous, very emotional, very scared…. That’s not my experience. Some will certainly but not all, and hence my point that the mother should do as she sees fit.

Thank u so much for all the lovely encouraging reply’s, I asked her if she minds if her teacher knows and she said she doesn’t mind … so I’ll send in a note tomorrow with her, today we just practised removing, replacing and disposing of the pad correctly, thank u for the Ibuprofen and period kit ideas … very much appreciated

None of the girls, who got their period whilst at primary at DD’s school, talked about getting them because contrary to being in a teen club, starting earlier than the norm is incredibly embarrassing.

This was not my DD's (started at 10) experience. Periods were very commonly talked about and DD knew pretty much when everyone started (and as an early starter herself, became the period oracle). I'd be worried if a 10/11 year old these days thought that periods were embarrassing rather than the totally normal thing that they are.

The important thing to remember is that this development will be taken vastly differently by each individual girl depending on a whole host of factors. No girl is in the wrong for feeling how she feels about something as momentous and potentially distressing/difficult as starting menstruation and everything that comes with puberty. Some will be fine, others won’t like it or would feel embarrassed to have other children or teachers know.