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AIBU?

To be annoyed about dinner invite

147 replies

hittle · 04/09/2022 09:35

Invited to BIL and SIL for dinner last night, was organised last week. Was under the impression they would cook- asked us what sort of foods we do/don't like.

Turn up and they cba to cook so order dominoes. DH feels obliged to offer money, which they accept, and pays half.

AIBU to think that if you invite someone for dinner you either a) give a heads up that you're thinking takeaway and check the guests are happy to come given it's gonna cost them £25 or b) pay for whatever food you've chosen to put on?

BG; we have hosted them the last 10 times , literally, at least, due to building works at their place and have always cooked and at most they've bought a couple of beers... Which is fine as if I offer to host I expect to provide the food- but feel a bit peeved off about the reciprocal.

OP posts:
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Vikinga · 04/09/2022 15:04

They would have struggled with me as I never carry more than a tenner.

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shockthemonkey · 04/09/2022 15:07

Reminds me of a priest friend of mine who was ridiculously excited to be invited to dinner at Delia Smith's house.

He arrived salivating like a Cané Corso, only to be told "so glad to see you. Now, Michael and I usually order out fish and chips on a Thursday... Cod or plaice?"

BUT! at least the fish and chips were good and Delia most definitely paid for the meal.

What your BIL and SIL pulled was totally unreasonable.

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NerrSnerr · 04/09/2022 15:12

Cervinia · 04/09/2022 13:55

I would have left at the suggestion of Dominoes, takeaway pizza is grim and Dominoes is the worst.

I came on the thread for the 'dominoes is disgusting' comment.

We get it, you're superior to the plebs who enjoy a takeaway.

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speakout · 04/09/2022 15:16

I have had this too OP- a couple invited us for dinner- they were cooking a new curry recipe.
Whe we arrived no cooking had started, and friend had only just realised the recipe calls for a long slow cook in the oven- 2 or 3 hours- so they suggested we get an Indian meal from a local curry house delivered.
Only when it arrived friends said they were a bit strapped for cash, and could we pay.
We were on the spot- delivery guy was waiting for the money, so we stumped up.
All very annoying.

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girlfriend44 · 04/09/2022 15:21

how lazy.

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MasterBeth · 04/09/2022 15:23

I’d be annoyed if someone invited me for dinner and gave me Domino’s pizza whether I’d paid for it or not. I’m not 12.

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MasterBeth · 04/09/2022 15:24

NerrSnerr · 04/09/2022 15:12

I came on the thread for the 'dominoes is disgusting' comment.

We get it, you're superior to the plebs who enjoy a takeaway.

You must be fucking psychic then, as Domino’s isn’t mentioned in the thread title.

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Subaru4336 · 04/09/2022 15:26

Geepee71 · 04/09/2022 12:59

Domino's don't take cash (as mentioned many times up threat) also drivers do not accept cash tips. There's a cashless tip app / process.

Their drivers definitely do accept cash tips.

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NerrSnerr · 04/09/2022 15:43

Ok fair enough @MasterBeth, I read through the comments for the inevitable comments.

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BroomstickAndWine · 04/09/2022 15:48

This is why I don’t invite people over to eat anymore. We invited all the time and hardly ever got asked to theirs including Christmas.

When people ask to hook up with us now I suggest we go to a restaurant, and then I get the bill and split it equally. End of.

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justasking111 · 04/09/2022 16:00

We've got neighbours like this, they eat at our house and other neighbors. Occasionally we're invited back. It's always cheese, pate and crackers. They also drink loads.

To be fair they don't cook for themselves she hung up the oven gloves when the kids left home 😂😂

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Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/09/2022 16:21

When the delivery driver is collecting cash (£50) and BIL says 'I've got £25 here' and the room goes silent and he looks at us, what would people here have said?

I'd have said "Oh dear, we thought you were cooking and didn't bring cards or cash", but I realise it can be awkward when you're deliberately put on the spot

Lesson learned for next time I guess?

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KatherineJaneway · 04/09/2022 16:22

When the delivery driver is collecting cash (£50) and BIL says 'I've got £25 here' and the room goes silent and he looks at us, what would people here have said?

Sorry, have no cash on me. You invited us to eat, assumed you'd be cooking.

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SeasonFinale · 04/09/2022 16:36

hittle · 04/09/2022 09:49

When the delivery driver is collecting cash (£50) and BIL says 'I've got £25 here' and the room goes silent and he looks at us, what would people here have said?

I haven't complained about to to them- I've asked an anonymous website if my feelings are warranted or not. Kinda the point of AIBU.

As soon as they said its takeaway before that stage I would have said that's nice of you to treat us to a takeaway.

However how have you managed to order a dominoes without paying by card upfront? None of the ones round here allow cash on delivery.

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EmmaH2022 · 04/09/2022 16:36

hittle · 04/09/2022 09:49

When the delivery driver is collecting cash (£50) and BIL says 'I've got £25 here' and the room goes silent and he looks at us, what would people here have said?

I haven't complained about to to them- I've asked an anonymous website if my feelings are warranted or not. Kinda the point of AIBU.

I'd have said "I've got a text for a dinner invitation, perhaps I got the date wrong."

excuse my ignorance but is £50 a normal price for four people for Dominos?

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abbarules · 04/09/2022 16:42

They’re cheeky fuckers. Don’t ask them back ever OP!

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Boreded · 04/09/2022 19:31

Somethingneedstochange · 04/09/2022 14:10

I was just thinking don't most take payment in advance if ordering online or over the phone? They do where I live because of fake malicious orders.

We have two Domino's takeaways but never had one. I would rather support independent buisnesses. There's a very good kebab and pizza takeaway at the back of us.

Dominos are franchised…so they are an independent business

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Kazzzzzzzzzzz · 05/09/2022 18:16

Damn cheek....I'd never invite them over again

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Scepticalwotsits · 05/09/2022 18:26

When I’m at friends It’s not always a host always pays situation, because we are always hosted by one couple as their house is most suited and they offer and are happy so we often will rotate around, sometimes they cook other times we collect a takeaway on the way over it we always agree beforehand what’s happening.

However that said if we got a dinner invite I would politely ask up front if they wanted us to get anything, if they said they were cooking I would bring a bottle of wine if something similar, and would be pissed if they then ordered take away and guilted us into paying half

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cherish123 · 05/09/2022 18:36

YANBU
take away is fine. However, you can't invite someone and them ask them to pay!

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PeachyPeachTrees · 05/09/2022 18:41

This happened to us last week. I'd taken wine and posh chocs as they were going to the trouble of hosting. Then they opened the laptop and asked what pizza we wanted and we were guilt tripped into paying half. 🙄

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Summerfun54321 · 05/09/2022 19:03

NerrSnerr · 04/09/2022 15:12

I came on the thread for the 'dominoes is disgusting' comment.

We get it, you're superior to the plebs who enjoy a takeaway.

I also hate dominos. Nothing snobby about it, the amount of fat and sugar and salt makes me feel sick after. I’d much rather beans on toast or a different kind of takeaway like Nandos.

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catwithflowers · 05/09/2022 19:06

Totally unacceptable behaviour on their part, though I can totally understand why your husband was embarrassed and offered to pay half given the circumstances. I would never invite them to your home again and wouldn't accept an invitation to theirs in the future.

I despise this kind of meanness. It's deeply unattractive, especially within families.

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GuerlainHo · 05/09/2022 19:22

Next time, tell your polite DH to not pay.

your right; if someone invites you for dinner- the dinner is on them. Why should you pay?

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Everyflippingusernameistaken · 05/09/2022 19:57

If it's your husband's brother he should have said come on man, are you taking the piss? What, after the 10 times in a row you've come to ours and we've provided all the food at our cost?!! Really?!!

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