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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed about dinner invite

147 replies

hittle · 04/09/2022 09:35

Invited to BIL and SIL for dinner last night, was organised last week. Was under the impression they would cook- asked us what sort of foods we do/don't like.

Turn up and they cba to cook so order dominoes. DH feels obliged to offer money, which they accept, and pays half.

AIBU to think that if you invite someone for dinner you either a) give a heads up that you're thinking takeaway and check the guests are happy to come given it's gonna cost them £25 or b) pay for whatever food you've chosen to put on?

BG; we have hosted them the last 10 times , literally, at least, due to building works at their place and have always cooked and at most they've bought a couple of beers... Which is fine as if I offer to host I expect to provide the food- but feel a bit peeved off about the reciprocal.

OP posts:
Swimmingpoolsally · 04/09/2022 12:52

Are people not reading the thread. Dominoes don’t accept cash! 😂

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 04/09/2022 12:53

Are people being deliberately stupid here?

I assume he gave the cash to BiL and SiL rather than to the restaurant?

That asides, yes they should've said in advance.

liveforsummer · 04/09/2022 12:54

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 04/09/2022 12:53

Are people being deliberately stupid here?

I assume he gave the cash to BiL and SiL rather than to the restaurant?

That asides, yes they should've said in advance.

When the delivery driver is collecting cash (£50)

WeAllHaveWings · 04/09/2022 12:54

Ds has been a PT Dominos delivery driver 3-6 nights a week since May/over summer break, they only take tips as cash. Even then that is very rare when paid for online.

Swimmingpoolsally · 04/09/2022 12:55

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 04/09/2022 12:53

Are people being deliberately stupid here?

I assume he gave the cash to BiL and SiL rather than to the restaurant?

That asides, yes they should've said in advance.

On what planet is dominoes a restaurant and again.they don’t take cash so it can’t have happened.

DixonD · 04/09/2022 12:59

Perhaps the OP said it was Dominoes to hide a few details and didn’t know they don’t take cash? It could have been some other takeaway and doesn’t automatically mean it’s entirely BS.

Posters change details on here all the time to avoid being specific.

Geepee71 · 04/09/2022 12:59

Domino's don't take cash (as mentioned many times up threat) also drivers do not accept cash tips. There's a cashless tip app / process.

Swimmingpoolsally · 04/09/2022 13:00

DixonD · 04/09/2022 12:59

Perhaps the OP said it was Dominoes to hide a few details and didn’t know they don’t take cash? It could have been some other takeaway and doesn’t automatically mean it’s entirely BS.

Posters change details on here all the time to avoid being specific.

😂

Hotandbothereds · 04/09/2022 13:01

DixonD · 04/09/2022 12:59

Perhaps the OP said it was Dominoes to hide a few details and didn’t know they don’t take cash? It could have been some other takeaway and doesn’t automatically mean it’s entirely BS.

Posters change details on here all the time to avoid being specific.

Yep, takeaways are so outing 😆

gamerchick · 04/09/2022 13:04

Well now you know. Stop feeding them in future, they're pisstakers.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 04/09/2022 13:09

I'm assuming that BiL/Sil paid by card and dp gave cash to them for their 'half' as it were.

Anyway. I don't care if it's real or not.

Boreded · 04/09/2022 13:11

Op is changing story because of responses. First husband offered, then bil said he only had half (on delivery)…except op hasn’t fact checked their changed story lol and dominoes don’t even accept cash…hilarious.

try again op

liveforsummer · 04/09/2022 13:14

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 04/09/2022 13:09

I'm assuming that BiL/Sil paid by card and dp gave cash to them for their 'half' as it were.

Anyway. I don't care if it's real or not.

Why are you assuming that when OP clearly said that the delivery man was collecting the cash?

ilovesooty · 04/09/2022 13:19

hittle · 04/09/2022 09:49

When the delivery driver is collecting cash (£50) and BIL says 'I've got £25 here' and the room goes silent and he looks at us, what would people here have said?

I haven't complained about to to them- I've asked an anonymous website if my feelings are warranted or not. Kinda the point of AIBU.

I would have thought you'd have said that in your OP

I still think your husband shouldn't have offered to pay and now he has I'd be taking it up with them.

CustardySergeant · 04/09/2022 13:25

GooglyEyeballs · 04/09/2022 09:44

My SIL was always like that. We had them over at least twice a month and Christmas. Actually one year she invited us over to theirs for Christmas... But expected us to cook 😂 even though we'd hosted them 3 years running. We made an excuse and had Christmas on our own and haven't invited them over again.

Did you not ask her why on earth she expected you to cook?

Nekomata · 04/09/2022 13:27

Cool story! And then what happened? 🍿

Livinginanotherworld · 04/09/2022 13:28

If I invite someone round for dinner, then decide on takeaway there is no way on hell’s earth that I would expect them to contribute .

Louise0701 · 04/09/2022 13:30

I’m with @satelliteheart OP figure out which story you’re going with before you post.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 04/09/2022 13:31

Regardless of whether or not Dominoes takes cash, between four of you, you spent £50 on pizza? Bloody hell. How many did you order!?

scooble · 04/09/2022 13:33

2bazookas · 04/09/2022 11:43

Last week we were travelling and contacted a very old and much loved friend who is 90 and physically frail but mentally still fiercely independent. We took her out to lunch at her favourite restaurant. She then invited us round to hers next day for a meal with one of her ancient pals. We all knew perfectly well she can no longer stand long enough to cook a meal; before I could think of a get-out excuse she added smoothly "Takeaway, of course".

She phone-ordered fish and chips from the local chippy and paid on her card; DH picked them up while I warmed the plates (" use the good china, of course") and set the dining room table with a cloth, napkins, silver. With the earlier connivance of her home help, there was tartare sauce and a bottle of champagne in the fridge and the flutes had been washed.

Fish and chips, bone china and linen with salt, vinegar, tartare and a glass of champagne. She has style.

Lovely but how is this relevant to the OP?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/09/2022 13:43

Well, OP, I’d rather have a dh like yours than a tightarse who hardly ever pays.

We used to stay regularly with friends (a couple) who liked eating out a lot, especially him. Almost invariably he would have ‘forgotten his wallet’ and once we got home would have no cash, and be unable to find his cheque book. It turned into a standing (black) joke between me and good old dh, who would cough up without complaint.
Bloke would then get his wife (2nd marriage) to give us a cheque and he’d ‘pay her back later’.

Only we knew he never would, he was so tight, despite having far more money than she ever did - separate finances of course. So we never paid the cheques in.
When he died he left a colossal amount of cash, and other assets - I do know this since dh was an executor.

I can’t say I was ever remotely sad that he was gone - he’d always been dh’s friend rather than mine, though.

MyBabyLaura · 04/09/2022 13:47

When the delivery driver is collecting cash (£50) and BIL says 'I've got £25 here' and the room goes silent and he looks at us, what would people here have said?

Actually I'm not feeling very well and I've got no appetite. I really need to go home. Thanks for inviting us. Bye.

If they said anything about the extra pizza I'd have told them to put it in the fridge because it'll keep until tomorrow and be totally fine if they eat it then.

RoseAylingEllisFanClub · 04/09/2022 13:49

@2bazookas she does indeed! A lovely story!

DancingBudgie · 04/09/2022 13:52

hittle · 04/09/2022 09:49

When the delivery driver is collecting cash (£50) and BIL says 'I've got £25 here' and the room goes silent and he looks at us, what would people here have said?

I haven't complained about to to them- I've asked an anonymous website if my feelings are warranted or not. Kinda the point of AIBU.

I would have said.....it looks like we're not having dominoes then.
And looked expectantly back at him.

PayPennies · 04/09/2022 13:55

This didn’t happen

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