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AIBU?

To be annoyed about dinner invite

147 replies

hittle · 04/09/2022 09:35

Invited to BIL and SIL for dinner last night, was organised last week. Was under the impression they would cook- asked us what sort of foods we do/don't like.

Turn up and they cba to cook so order dominoes. DH feels obliged to offer money, which they accept, and pays half.

AIBU to think that if you invite someone for dinner you either a) give a heads up that you're thinking takeaway and check the guests are happy to come given it's gonna cost them £25 or b) pay for whatever food you've chosen to put on?

BG; we have hosted them the last 10 times , literally, at least, due to building works at their place and have always cooked and at most they've bought a couple of beers... Which is fine as if I offer to host I expect to provide the food- but feel a bit peeved off about the reciprocal.

OP posts:
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Autumndays123 · 04/09/2022 10:15

Yeah Domino's don't take cash so I'm calling BS here

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Mrsuntidy · 04/09/2022 10:16

Why didn't dh just say something? It is his sibling after all. Never understand why siblings aren't just honest with each other.

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OstrichFeet · 04/09/2022 10:17

raindon · 04/09/2022 10:11

DH could have said I don't carry cash sorry, thought you'd invited us for dinner hahaha cheapskate. Or something.

Excellent response

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scoopoftheday · 04/09/2022 10:19

Dh and I eat literally most things.

He doesn't eat cheese and neither of us are fussed on fish. That's it.

We socialise mainly with his sister and he and BIL are good mates.

His sister asked us for dinner one Saturday night and asked what he definitely wouldn't eat. Dh said cheese or fish.

When we arrived she'd made a fucking fish pie. I did try the potatoes on top but it was covered in a cheesy creamy sauce so dh said he'd give it a miss.

His sister kept saying "but it's LOVELY, I know you said you didn't like fish, but you didn't say you didn't like pie. Everyone loves MY fish pie, its delicious, try it, you'll like it"

We left and had a take away and we've not ate in each others houses again.

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NoSquirrels · 04/09/2022 10:22

When the delivery driver is collecting cash (£50) and BIL says 'I've got £25 here' and the room goes silent and he looks at us, what would people here have said?

That’s not the same as your DH ‘offering to pay’.

In this circumstance we’d probably have not been able to pay because we never have cash.

If we had paid, I’d definitely have commented along lines of ‘We’ve fed you loads lately - thought this one was on you?’ Not saying anything lets them get away with it.

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Shoxfordian · 04/09/2022 10:24

@scoopoftheday , that’s almost like it was on purpose, how to combine the two in one dish that he definitely won’t eat 🤣

I do think it’s rude to ask people over for dinner and then say let’s get a takeaway; it’s ok to ask them for a takeaway though as long as it’s clear beforehand

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Goldbar · 04/09/2022 10:25

I'd be tempted to invite them round and pull the same stunt.

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NoSquirrels · 04/09/2022 10:29

scoopoftheday · 04/09/2022 10:19

Dh and I eat literally most things.

He doesn't eat cheese and neither of us are fussed on fish. That's it.

We socialise mainly with his sister and he and BIL are good mates.

His sister asked us for dinner one Saturday night and asked what he definitely wouldn't eat. Dh said cheese or fish.

When we arrived she'd made a fucking fish pie. I did try the potatoes on top but it was covered in a cheesy creamy sauce so dh said he'd give it a miss.

His sister kept saying "but it's LOVELY, I know you said you didn't like fish, but you didn't say you didn't like pie. Everyone loves MY fish pie, its delicious, try it, you'll like it"

We left and had a take away and we've not ate in each others houses again.

It’s so weird when people do this. I wonder if it’s that they hear ‘cheese & fish’ and sort of mentally ignore the ‘can’t eat’.

When I was pregnant with firstborn my FIL invited us over. I said I could eat anything except Indian which was making me nauseous. Guess what they served?

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morbidd · 04/09/2022 10:29

Yeah BS here as they wouldn't take cash.

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PinkyFlamingo · 04/09/2022 10:29

One of my local takeaways only takes cash on delivery, there are still some around.

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GeorgeA12 · 04/09/2022 10:30

The payment situation can't be correct. You always have to pay in advance for Dominoes. Either online or on the phone.

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raindon · 04/09/2022 10:34

NoSquirrels · 04/09/2022 10:29

It’s so weird when people do this. I wonder if it’s that they hear ‘cheese & fish’ and sort of mentally ignore the ‘can’t eat’.

When I was pregnant with firstborn my FIL invited us over. I said I could eat anything except Indian which was making me nauseous. Guess what they served?

I swear they do it deliberately because they think they can somehow change your mind. It's fucking rude. I don't eat it and say sorry but we did say I couldn't eat this.

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billy1966 · 04/09/2022 10:38

They are mean and users.

Now you know, there is no way I would be cooking gor them again.

They were really rude to expect you to pay half, and yes your husband is a bit of a mug, but he was caught out.

Learn from this and don't be caught again.

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Festoonlights · 04/09/2022 10:47

They should have paid. It was their dinner evening.

I would stop going, I think it is really rude.

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cormorant5 · 04/09/2022 10:53

You need better friends OP. Your bloke needs a bit of a lesson as well.

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Mummyoflittledragon · 04/09/2022 10:57

I don’t know how people have the guts to do things like this. You were invited. If I invite someone, I pay and ensure they will enjoy the meal.

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2bazookas · 04/09/2022 11:43

Last week we were travelling and contacted a very old and much loved friend who is 90 and physically frail but mentally still fiercely independent. We took her out to lunch at her favourite restaurant. She then invited us round to hers next day for a meal with one of her ancient pals. We all knew perfectly well she can no longer stand long enough to cook a meal; before I could think of a get-out excuse she added smoothly "Takeaway, of course".

She phone-ordered fish and chips from the local chippy and paid on her card; DH picked them up while I warmed the plates (" use the good china, of course") and set the dining room table with a cloth, napkins, silver. With the earlier connivance of her home help, there was tartare sauce and a bottle of champagne in the fridge and the flutes had been washed.

Fish and chips, bone china and linen with salt, vinegar, tartare and a glass of champagne. She has style.

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FurAndFeathers · 04/09/2022 12:44

PinkyFlamingo · 04/09/2022 10:29

One of my local takeaways only takes cash on delivery, there are still some around.

It’s not Dominoes though is it?

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Parrotpretty · 04/09/2022 12:47

I can't understand paying cash for domino's. Especially as there is always a voucher code on the website.

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Butterdishtea · 04/09/2022 12:48

That's shocking! You didn't have a choice at all.

I don't think I'd host them again.

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/09/2022 12:48

Without pre agreeing it’s out of order- however I have a family dynamic where I could easily call out my family if they did this

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Swimmingpoolsally · 04/09/2022 12:50

Dominoes don’t accept cash. You screwed this one up op.😂

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liveforsummer · 04/09/2022 12:50

Rather a story chance here - in that situation I'd probably have said sorry I don't have any cash on me as I wasn't expecting to pay for a takeaway this evening or even if I had I wouldn't have brought cash as I know dominoes is paid for by card!

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ClottedCreamAndStrawberries · 04/09/2022 12:51

Yes, I’d be annoyed. We do a games night with friends, one month at ours, one month at theirs. When it’s our turn to host, we provide everything down to breakfast the next morning. When it’s their turn they do the same. Otherwise it’s just not very hospitable.

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Hobnobswantshernameback · 04/09/2022 12:52

🤔

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