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AIBU?

To be annoyed about dinner invite

147 replies

hittle · 04/09/2022 09:35

Invited to BIL and SIL for dinner last night, was organised last week. Was under the impression they would cook- asked us what sort of foods we do/don't like.

Turn up and they cba to cook so order dominoes. DH feels obliged to offer money, which they accept, and pays half.

AIBU to think that if you invite someone for dinner you either a) give a heads up that you're thinking takeaway and check the guests are happy to come given it's gonna cost them £25 or b) pay for whatever food you've chosen to put on?

BG; we have hosted them the last 10 times , literally, at least, due to building works at their place and have always cooked and at most they've bought a couple of beers... Which is fine as if I offer to host I expect to provide the food- but feel a bit peeved off about the reciprocal.

OP posts:
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Cervinia · 04/09/2022 13:55

I would have left at the suggestion of Dominoes, takeaway pizza is grim and Dominoes is the worst.

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VictoriaConcordiaCrescit · 04/09/2022 13:55

£50 for some pizzas

What a time to be alive

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ilikemethewayiam · 04/09/2022 14:00

raindon · 04/09/2022 10:11

DH could have said I don't carry cash sorry, thought you'd invited us for dinner hahaha cheapskate. Or something.

This is exactly what I would have done as I actually never have cash on me. I would have said ‘oh! I didn’t bring cash as you never mentioned take away, you invited us over for dinner. I was expecting a cooked meal’. I don’t see how they can argue with that. They are CF’s

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ScaryFaces · 04/09/2022 14:01

hittle · 04/09/2022 09:49

When the delivery driver is collecting cash (£50) and BIL says 'I've got £25 here' and the room goes silent and he looks at us, what would people here have said?

I haven't complained about to to them- I've asked an anonymous website if my feelings are warranted or not. Kinda the point of AIBU.

Did this really happen? What if you and DH hadn't had any cash on you? Bit of a drip feed tbh, this is different from what you implied in your OP.

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Somethingneedstochange · 04/09/2022 14:02

UANBU DH shouldn't have offered. I wouldn't be inviting them again not very good hosts.

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Tirediam · 04/09/2022 14:06

Wouldn’t host them again. Or pull the same stunt and say “dominoes again”

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DeanStockwelll · 04/09/2022 14:09

2bazookas · 04/09/2022 11:43

Last week we were travelling and contacted a very old and much loved friend who is 90 and physically frail but mentally still fiercely independent. We took her out to lunch at her favourite restaurant. She then invited us round to hers next day for a meal with one of her ancient pals. We all knew perfectly well she can no longer stand long enough to cook a meal; before I could think of a get-out excuse she added smoothly "Takeaway, of course".

She phone-ordered fish and chips from the local chippy and paid on her card; DH picked them up while I warmed the plates (" use the good china, of course") and set the dining room table with a cloth, napkins, silver. With the earlier connivance of her home help, there was tartare sauce and a bottle of champagne in the fridge and the flutes had been washed.

Fish and chips, bone china and linen with salt, vinegar, tartare and a glass of champagne. She has style.

When I get old I want to be like your friend

Actually, I want to be like her now ! 😁

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Somethingneedstochange · 04/09/2022 14:10

I was just thinking don't most take payment in advance if ordering online or over the phone? They do where I live because of fake malicious orders.

We have two Domino's takeaways but never had one. I would rather support independent buisnesses. There's a very good kebab and pizza takeaway at the back of us.

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Whatawasteofcats · 04/09/2022 14:11

This.

Shouldn’t have offered to pay.

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WhenISnappedAndFarted · 04/09/2022 14:21

Dominoes don't accept cash and I never have cash on me so I wouldn't have been able to pay but also this never happened with Dominoes so...

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Somethingneedstochange · 04/09/2022 14:23

It's like those people that are told someone has a food allergy. But they give them that food anyway to see if they really do have an allergy to it. But are shocked when they do. 😡🙄

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raindon · 04/09/2022 14:24

Somethingneedstochange · 04/09/2022 14:23

It's like those people that are told someone has a food allergy. But they give them that food anyway to see if they really do have an allergy to it. But are shocked when they do. 😡🙄

Yeah what is with that? Like they want to poison you.

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Cosycover · 04/09/2022 14:25

Cervinia · 04/09/2022 13:55

I would have left at the suggestion of Dominoes, takeaway pizza is grim and Dominoes is the worst.

Blasphemy!

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liveforsummer · 04/09/2022 14:29

Cervinia · 04/09/2022 13:55

I would have left at the suggestion of Dominoes, takeaway pizza is grim and Dominoes is the worst.

It's taken this long for the inevitable 'I'd never eat that' comment on a thread regarding Dominoes. Surely a record! 🤣

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Somethingneedstochange · 04/09/2022 14:30

Aww love this that lady has style. 🥰

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woodhill · 04/09/2022 14:33

I think that's awful

They should have treated you not expected you to chip in

Yanbu

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MzHz · 04/09/2022 14:37

Domino’s don’t do cash on delivery on my app/in my area.

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SplendidUtterly · 04/09/2022 14:42

Dominoes don"t even except cash 😂

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Holly60 · 04/09/2022 14:45

Craver · 04/09/2022 09:44

Next time you invite them over, suggest a Chinese or Indian takeaway and ask them for half the cost.

Yep. 'Do you fancy coming over next weekend and we'll split a takeaway again?'

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alphons · 04/09/2022 14:53

Convenient that it was exactly half the bill that your BIL had to hand…

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FrankLampardsBrokenHand · 04/09/2022 14:55

You can't really offer to contribute and then moan about contributing.

People should be less inclined to say what they feel they're expected to say and I swear everyone would be happier.

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Thatboymum · 04/09/2022 14:59

I don’t see anything wrong with getting a takeaway but you can’t really complain that they took money that was offered to them that they didn’t outright ask for. Next time don’t be stupid and offer to pay half .

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Rosscameasdoody · 04/09/2022 15:00

satelliteheart · 04/09/2022 10:10

Well you've told two completely different stories there op. First story - dh offered to pay and bil accepted. Second story - bil didn't have enough money and expected dh to pay. The two stories can't both be true, so why did you completely change your story when people started saying it was your husband's fault for offering to pay? Which one is actually true?!

For what it's worth, I think it's rude they took money off your dh as if you invite people for dinner you should pay, whether it's a takeaway or a home cooked meal. But your husband should never have offered to pay. I don't really believe your second revised story

Well that’s nitpicking !! Not two different stories - more of a clarification of how DH came to pay.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 04/09/2022 15:01

hittle · 04/09/2022 09:49

When the delivery driver is collecting cash (£50) and BIL says 'I've got £25 here' and the room goes silent and he looks at us, what would people here have said?

I haven't complained about to to them- I've asked an anonymous website if my feelings are warranted or not. Kinda the point of AIBU.

@hittle I’m so sorry I didn’t bring any money I thought you were cooking /providing the food as you invited us over

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mountainsunsets · 04/09/2022 15:02

hittle · 04/09/2022 09:49

When the delivery driver is collecting cash (£50) and BIL says 'I've got £25 here' and the room goes silent and he looks at us, what would people here have said?

I haven't complained about to to them- I've asked an anonymous website if my feelings are warranted or not. Kinda the point of AIBU.

I'd have said "sorry, I don't have anything on me as I wasn't expecting to have to pay for anything".

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