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Original poster

Passed my driving test today, “d”h has ruined my confidence

105 replies

Blueysmum12 · 02/09/2022 20:24

I passed my driving test today second time with only 3 minors. I was so proud, especially as I’m 32 and thought I’d never drive.

Dh comes home (with no flowers 😒🙄😂) and puts me on his insurance finally. His car is much much bigger than what I have learnt in and has no handbrake so completely out my comfort zone.

iv just driven to Sainsburys with him and dd and all he did was moan, I’m not driving fast enough (I was I just wasn’t bombing to get through a light), i signal too early, I should have gone when there was a small space to turn into a road (bare in mind I hate driving his car and not used to clutch etc!)

iv came home and cried. He’s completely burst my bubble and now I don’t want to drive the car again.

I’m so pissed off.

OP posts:
Swannning · 02/09/2022 20:25

Ah that is a bit shitty of him. Ignore him, congratulations, you should be very proud of yourself.

bingotime · 02/09/2022 20:26

It's a big jump to go from lessons to driving without your instructor.

You should be really proud of yourself. This should be a happy day for you.

Easy to say but don't let him steal this day from you.

Windinmyhair · 02/09/2022 20:26

He is an arse.
Was he setting you up to fail on purpose?
Did he acknowledge he had been an arse?

SouperNoodle · 02/09/2022 20:27

Ignore him!
I'm also 32 and recently passed my test on the 2nd time with only 3 minors 😁
My DH wasn't an arse about my driving but did criticise it and it knocked my confidence a bit.
What has got me driving so much better is going out on my own all the time. Now I'm comfortable driving most places and if my DH comments, I just say "thank you dear" in a sarcastic tone and it shuts him up 😂

You got this xx

Maray1967 · 02/09/2022 20:27

Congratulations on passing your test. Can you afford to get your own car? I’ve been driving for 30 years and can’t stand DH’s fancy car with no proper handbrake.

Hagpie · 02/09/2022 20:27

OP you’ve done brilliantly and I am so happy that you’ve managed to pass your test. Nip the back seat driving in the bud by critiquing his driving just as much next time and he will learn to be quiet. Once again, you should be proud well done!

antwacky · 02/09/2022 20:28

Congratulations! Ignore your H, he sounds like a jealous kid. Don't let him rain on your parade.

Frenchfancy · 02/09/2022 20:29

He doesn't want you to drive because he wants you to be reliant on him. Can you afford to buy yourself a small car?

billy1966 · 02/09/2022 20:29

He doesn't want you driving the family car.

Selfish arse.

Buy yourself a small car if you can and congratulations on passing.

What a fantastic achievement.

Pity you married such an arse though.

Hankunamatata · 02/09/2022 20:29

Iv been driving for 20 years and I never drive with dh in the car. He is the biggest pain in the ass with ongoing comments, total backseat driver.
Get out in the car on your own and practise

CloudyMorning · 02/09/2022 20:30

If I were a new driver I personally wouldn’t want to drive any passengers (especially children) when unused to a car. When my DDs passed their test I also told them not to drive until the stress/ adrenaline had worn off. Your dh is mean but I would’ve waited until tomorrow and practised alone first (or did you think he’d be helpful?!)
Get back on the horse tomorrow but go somewhere quiet- alone. Good luck!

Original poster
Blueysmum12 · 02/09/2022 20:30

I’m hoping in a month or so I can buy my own car. I absolutely hate it. Think he’s pissed off as when he rang to add me the cost actually went down a month because I’m a woman ;)

OP posts:
TheresABearOverThere · 02/09/2022 20:30

Tell him to fuck off! The first car I drove after passing my test was a Skoda Fabia and I stalled it about 40 times. Driving a car you're not used to phases even experienced drivers. Well done on passing your test!

MintyGreenDreams · 02/09/2022 20:31

I passed last year at 42 and dh was so happy for me.Your dh is a cock.

Original poster
Blueysmum12 · 02/09/2022 20:31

I thought he’d be helpful, I don’t understand the whole no handbrake thing, it really confuses me

OP posts:
FaazoHuyzeoSix · 02/09/2022 20:32

What a nasty man.
You were actually driving really well. He was hating being reminded of the difference between safe, legal and careful driving and his own sloppy, selfish and probably often dangerous habits.
I hope you refuse to be a passenger in his car from now on. It's quite usual in couples with this dynamic for the bloke to refuse to ever be the passenger because he hates not being in control, the result of which is that the person who is the safest and most reliable driver has to put her life at risk in order to smooth the ego of a dangerous driver.

Keep that confidence OP you have earned it.

phoneybaloney · 02/09/2022 20:32

He's a knob. 😡

Ignore him.

I passed my test at a similar age and love driving. Driving is freedom. Which is probably why he's trying to make you lose confidence, the twat. My ex always scuppered my lessons.

Dogscanteatonions · 02/09/2022 20:33

Your husband is an absolute cocking ARSE. It's very nerve wracking to drive on your own after passing your test even in a car you are used to! And it's REALLY tricky to drive a car that's very different to what you're used to as soon as you've passed your test.

He should have been encouraging and shut the fuck up. I'm very cross on your behalf. I really think you should tell him how he has made you feel. Fucking dick.

Deux · 02/09/2022 20:33

Congratulations and well done. Your DH sounds a bit of an arse. I’d tell him he was undermining you.

Next time he’s driving, give him some helpful tips and see how he likes it.

woodhill · 02/09/2022 20:34

My dh was like that when I was younger. I don't tend to drive with him in the car

Miacarla · 02/09/2022 20:34

Congratulations! He's a twat. Excuse my ignorance but NO HANDBRAKE!

Runningincircles · 02/09/2022 20:35

I was pregnant and 32 when I passed my test. It took me about 3 months to feel fully confident about driving.
It takes time to get your confidence up after passing your test. I recommend going on a few drives by yourself without the negative commentator. Get used to the car and driving without the instructor and dual controls.
You will be fine once you get used to the car. Your Dh was mean tonight, but don't let him put you off. Drive anywhere, without him as soon as possible.

raindon · 02/09/2022 20:36

He needs to buy you your own car and quit whinging. He's trying to make you feel small.

CloudyMorning · 02/09/2022 20:36

OP
Do you mean that it just has a parking break rather than a ‘hand’ break?
if so then hill starts will be easier as it won’t roll back straight away. Maybe look on YouTube for tips on using the controls on that model

Dogscanteatonions · 02/09/2022 20:36

Oh and I've been driving years, I've driven so many cars, lorries and vans and I can ride motorcycles. The first time I owned a car with a button handbrake it took me ages to get used to!!