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Original poster

Passed my driving test today, “d”h has ruined my confidence

105 replies

Blueysmum12 · 02/09/2022 20:24

I passed my driving test today second time with only 3 minors. I was so proud, especially as I’m 32 and thought I’d never drive.

Dh comes home (with no flowers 😒🙄😂) and puts me on his insurance finally. His car is much much bigger than what I have learnt in and has no handbrake so completely out my comfort zone.

iv just driven to Sainsburys with him and dd and all he did was moan, I’m not driving fast enough (I was I just wasn’t bombing to get through a light), i signal too early, I should have gone when there was a small space to turn into a road (bare in mind I hate driving his car and not used to clutch etc!)

iv came home and cried. He’s completely burst my bubble and now I don’t want to drive the car again.

I’m so pissed off.

OP posts:
watcherintherye · 02/09/2022 20:36

I agree with critiquing his driving. Many people pick up bad habits over the years and I bet he doesn’t always drive by the book. You’re probably more up with the rules of road than he is, having passed so recently (congrats!) Drop in a few ‘you’d have failed if you’d done that in a test’ and he might get the message.

CloudyMorning · 02/09/2022 20:37

assume it’s one of those little parking break ‘buttons’

Itsbeenabadday · 02/09/2022 20:38

Well done!!!! Massive congratulations on passing your test! Tell your husband his backseat driving upset you and wasn't very kind considering you are brand new to driving his vehicle! If he wants to drive with you again then he is only allowed to make positive comments! Xx

Smellywellyhoo · 02/09/2022 20:38

It's easier when you're on your own. No one telling you what to do! I was nervous at first but got into the swing of it when I'd driven a few times alone.

gamerchick · 02/09/2022 20:38

Huge congrats Op.

My husband was similar. I said in the end that I'm not having him as a passenger or I'll be tipping him out on the pavement and stuck to it for a good 18 months.

Now he shuts his hole while I'm driving. Or he drives....

Although recently I told him to stop blocking my passenger wing mirror and he said 'do you still use that's Hmm

Just get out there and do it alone. Do NOT let this dampen your confidence. He's just doing the superior thing.

notacooldad · 02/09/2022 20:40

Buy yourself a small car if you can and congratulations on passing
Why a small one?
She has a license, she can have any car she likes. You soon get used to driving a car once you drive it regularly.
She needs to buy one that suits her needs.

NotAdultingToday · 02/09/2022 20:41

My dh likes to comment on my driving sometimes, whats funny is he hasn't passed his test yet 😂. I cant wait for him to drive 😂

HappyChloé2 · 02/09/2022 20:41

Blueysmum12 · 02/09/2022 20:31

I thought he’d be helpful, I don’t understand the whole no handbrake thing, it really confuses me

It’ll have a parking brake.

If you aren’t happy using his car then it’ll probably make sense to get your own.

Caiti19 · 02/09/2022 20:42

Well done you! You passed your driving test because you can drive well. If you could not drive well, you would have failed.

I like the "thank you, dear" suggested response from above poster. Men really can have the emotional intelligence of pond life at times - block out his comments and keep on driving! It's never nice when you're so-called partner is the one to knock you instead of build you up, but don't let it rain on your parade - today is a day for congratulations and celebration.

Ilikewinter · 02/09/2022 20:42

Congrats OP, I dont like driving my DH car either, you'll be much better going out on your own.

My car has an electric handbrake and i love it ...... would never go back to a ratchet handle 😂😂😂

gamerchick · 02/09/2022 20:42

I couldn't do without a handbrake though. I use mine loads. Time for your own runaround. Just don't let him pick it for you.

Original poster
Blueysmum12 · 02/09/2022 20:43

Thanks all. His car feels so much faster as well, but it is a 2litre and I was driving a 1.5. I so want my own car :(

OP posts:
Herejustforthisone · 02/09/2022 20:43

He’s a cunt. You don’t need him in the car. You’ll gain confidence driving on your own now you’ve passed. Good luck. You’ve done well (without him) so far.

User148563 · 02/09/2022 20:44

Well done. Don't worry about the hand brake it's an electronic one with a button probably and I bet when your DH first got the car with it he also found it different to a normal handbrake, my DH did, it's just something you are not used to. I have to watch DH now in my car with a proper handbrake in case he forgets to put it on as he is used to the electric one

Aquamarine1029 · 02/09/2022 20:44

Your husband is a dick and I hope you tell him so. Make sure you drive as much as possible. Don't wait until you get your own car.

Thinkingblonde · 02/09/2022 20:45

Congratulations on passing your test, you’ll gain experience now so don’t let him put you down or put you of.
I went out on my own for an hour the day I passed my test, just getting used to being on my own. Did me the world of good. Get yourself out there on your own when you can and get the feel of the car, the experience of driving on your own.
I once pulled over and told DH he had two choices, shut up or walk home. He shut up.
Remember, when you’re behind the wheel trust your own judgement on whether it’s safe to move off or not, if a gap is wide enough etc. If a passenger tell you it’s safe to do whatever always check for yourself.

MojoMoon · 02/09/2022 20:46

I'd really recommend doing the Pass Plus course - you can do it in a day and cover all the things you can't do in lessons, like motorways plus things like night driving and some of them take you to a skid pan and help you understand what to do if the car ever skids.

It will help build your skills and confidence to do be doing this without your horrible husband in the car.

You may get cheaper insurance as well

Floydthebarber · 02/09/2022 20:46

No, don't be disheartened, you've passed! I'm learning at the moment (at 37, wish I'd have done it at 32!) and have only driven with my instructor or dh in the passenger seat. You can now do it on your own, with dc whenever you like. You're driving a different car so it will take a few goes to get used to the gears, break, biting point etc. And going from a handbrake to one of those magic handbrake buttons is the easy way to do it. Learning with a button then getting into your dhs car and realising you have no idea how to use a handbrake is much harder!

cansu · 02/09/2022 20:47

You need your own car. I gained more confidence on my own. Choose something you are comfy in. Well done. It took me several goes to pass but it changed my life.

chocolateoranges33 · 02/09/2022 20:47

Tell him if he doesnt like your driving he can walk. And mean it.

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 02/09/2022 20:47

Do it back to him. “You came around that corner a bit fast” “Speed limit’s 30, you need to slow down” “Mind that pedestrian on the pavement on the other side of the road…..”
Seriously, he’s being a twat. Is he like this in other areas of your life?

SCH20 · 02/09/2022 20:48

Honestly, the size of car etc (and the power) will be fine once you get used to it. I've been driving 15+ years now and I LOVE powerful, fast cars but I didn't think I'd ever every say that when I first passed! Go out without him and just drive around to get used to it - even when you've been driving years, getting used to a new car doesn't happen overnight!

One thing to keep in mind is that you've only just passed your test - all the rules and best practice are fresh in your mind. What he thinks "good" driving looks like is actually years of gently forgetting and knowing how far you can push things without actually breaking any rules - technically you will currently be a better driver than he is!! Remember that when he starts criticising you - I bet he wouldn't pass a test tomorrow with only three minors...

Berthatydfil · 02/09/2022 20:48

My dh used to criticise my driving. Once (I stress once) he reached across me to flick the indicator.
That all stopped the day I pulled into a layby and got out.

I now say to him a bad lift is better than a long walk - take your pick.

He doesn't do it now (strangely enough)

JadeTC · 02/09/2022 20:49

Ah, congratulations! Huge achievement, you have every right to feel proud of yourself 😊

cansu · 02/09/2022 20:50

The electronic handbrake just takes a bit if getting used to. I had one on my last car. I miss it now. I always feel nervous in a different car. Drive somewhere close by where you can practise - big car park. Then go for a few short drives alone to get your confidence up. Do not let him put you off.