I know he is all about downing tools and off he goes but like you said you like to have a bit of a chat after work and connect with people. Is he perhaps so set on not giving the business a moment more of his time that he is missing out on work friendships, seeing people outside of work. Generally connecting with people without being paid to do so and making you responsible for his entertainment instead of getting himself a hobby, or stopping to chat to his work colleagues after work.
Why is so determined to run back to an empty house and click watch till you get home.
What would happen if you had children who don’t do anything to a schedule and you don’t get paid to look after.
Or doesn’t he want children because that would mean doing a job that he wasn’t paid to do.
I get the impression he doesn’t want to give you a moment to think because otherwise you might spot something amiss or start to think about where your life is heading and what you are being talked into.
Might be completely wrong but does he encourage you to have a glass of wine or something that is soporific in the evening So you go from work to home where he fills your mind and then you have a drink, go to bed and it all starts again.
Every moment of your life is being scheduled.
I have friends who have taken their children and left their husbands because of the type of behaviour you describe.
My friends weren’t stopped from going out but the incessant questions. The questions if they got back 5 minutes late from work or a night out. The questions about who was there, where they went, how long they spent eating. Where they ate. Late into the night when they were tired and tipsy and just wanted to go to bed. Woe betide they said they left a restaurant at 9pm and arrives at a pub 12 minutes walk away at 9.20pm and not 9.12pm. The question would start again.
They all said when it started at first they thought their dhs lived them and were taking an interest in them or live bed them so much they missed them
Gradually it turned quite sinister
If he has only just started this behaviour in the last year then this behaviour is still quite new. But don’t forget this is the 2nd time you have had to tell him to reign it in.
Whilst it might not seem much if you have had parents teaching you that you have to answer every question and account for every moment of your time but this isn’t normal behaviour and whilst you won’t be leaving atm I would put a boundary in place that if he continues to instigate this behaviour you will leave
How many times are you going to nip this in the bud until you decide that the questions aren’t worth it and you don’t stop for a chat after work. You don’t go out.
It has definite leanings towards coercive control.
What would happen if when he texts “Will you be home sharpish” You text back
“No” and then block his number for the day.
Personally it would drive me up the wall to have to answer so many questions when I get in or if I am at work and I get asked what time I will be back.