AIBU?
To not ‘get’ people watchers?
Desertdweller8 · 02/09/2022 18:08
Everywhere I go there are tons of ‘people watchers’ who sit on benches and have their eyes glued to people/families and have no shame in being caught looking. usually I ignore it and keep to myself but it happens so often that I’m starting to question what these people gain in being nosey. There’s nothing about me that would cause wandering eyes to focus on me, I’m just an average person minding my business!
Went for a nice day at the beach before dc go back to school on Monday, sitting on a wall eating lunch and happen to look up at a lone woman watching our every movement from the sand. Found it very uncomfortable so we moved. She then seemed to have moved on to watch another family as we walked past and looked over.
now don’t get me wrong I know there are people that will think ‘how lovely a family enjoying their day’ to watch children play with fond memories of their own, and watching the busy rush of a town/city without focusing on a specific person, but I’m talking about those who intentionally sit and stare for fun with no realisation it may make some feel uncomfortable as they don’t want to be watched by strangers.
i have a friend who purposely goes to a specific cafe every morning to watch people from the window. She puts on social media things like ‘people watching from x if anyone wants to join’. She can’t explain why she does it when I asked. She’s had people approach her to argue about it and some people telling her to look away, from inside the cafe. sometimes she brings her mum and they make a morning of it. Is it loneliness? Boredom? I couldn’t think of anything more pointless than watching a family sit together/eat/walk/talk.
is there anyone here who does it? If so can I ask why? Genuinely trying to understand why it’s so common and enjoyed by so many!
Am I being unreasonable?
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StoneofDestiny · 02/09/2022 18:19
Never heard of anybody going out specifically to 'people watch'. But watching random people milling around at railway stations or a busy street while looking out a cafe window can be a great distraction. Staring at them - no - just watching them drift by and wondering what they are up to/what job they do/where they are going can help you form the plot for your next novel 😂
housemaus · 02/09/2022 18:24
Going out specifically seems a little odd, I'll grant you that. As does inviting other people to join you...
But I love people watching.
I'm naturally nosy and find it fascinating thinking about where people are going, the conversations they're having, why they chose to wear what they're wearing that day or why they're carrying that bunch of flowers, about details of their life. Guessing what kind of person they are and their story in my head. I'm always keeping an eye on the people around me, especially in airports!
Noodledoodledoo · 02/09/2022 18:25
Oh I love people watching. Dark glasses by the pool on holiday is a great location especially with the same people day in day out.
Its partly nosiness, but I love watching human interactions, sitting back and observing shows you so much.
Chikapu · 02/09/2022 18:28
People are absolutely fascinating, I love watching them. The trick is to be discreet about it though, don't take binoculars or a telescope.
PutinIsAWarCriminal · 02/09/2022 18:28
Its probably the reason soaps and reality TV are so popular!
Its it about watching the world go by. I don't people watch as such, but if I'm relaxing in a public place and there are children playing nearby I always enjoy watching them.
Kanaloa · 02/09/2022 18:32
There was a weird thread about people watching on here a couple of months ago - a poster said she didn’t like her ‘privacy being violated’ by people looking at her. Never heard of people going out specifically to people watch though, or posting about it on social media.
VirginiaWool · 02/09/2022 18:33
I only watch people when I'm paid to do so. I also covertly film them.
There are a few hundred of us who do this. It's part of a project.
We didn't realise what we were signing up to when we agreed to it. Now there is no way out.
That woman you saw, she was probably one of us. She has no choice now. None of us do.
This post will self destruct at a set point in time. But if you've seen it, you now know the truth.
Kanaloa · 02/09/2022 18:34
Although I’m very surprised that ‘everywhere you go’ there are tons of people staring intensely. Are you maybe a zoo exhibit but just haven’t realised yet? The mumsnetter in its natural environment?
CurlyhairedAssassin · 02/09/2022 18:34
OP, I take it you just looked at your feet or directly into the eyes of your children (who I assume were sitting with you), and nowhere else? Otherwise, YOU were people-watching too.
MaryJoLisa · 02/09/2022 18:35
I love people watching. Glass of wine, sunglasses on, watch the world go by. I don't make a thing of it, I'm not a fucking weird stalker.
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 02/09/2022 18:38
I love people watching. I do it all the time. I don't make it obvious though and don't go out if my way to do it
PinkPencilCase · 02/09/2022 18:38
I don't think what you're describing is how I understand people watching. Surely it's more of a watching-the-world-go-by vibe than choosing your victims and staring intently.
You friend sounds like she is just having a morning doing nothing in a cafe, enjoying the atmosphere and hoping she might get some company?
Buttercupsx · 02/09/2022 18:42
You also learn quite a bit about yourself whilst observing others
AlisonDonut · 02/09/2022 18:42
People watching, I've always done it. I used to do it at work in meetings, so that I could take it all in, the body language is just as important as the words that come out of people's mouths.
It's not about being nosey. I genuinely don't care what people do, I just like watching their interactions with other people.
AlisonDonut · 02/09/2022 18:42
People watching, I've always done it. I used to do it at work in meetings, so that I could take it all in, the body language is just as important as the words that come out of people's mouths.
It's not about being nosey. I genuinely don't care what people do, I just like watching their interactions with other people.
Desertdweller8 · 02/09/2022 18:42
It’s not a nasty post, I’m curious why anyone wants to or cares what strangers are doing!
I was watching seagulls and the waves, that’s how I happened to notice her watching us. Even after awkward eye contact she continued. Generally I’m more focused on my dc and what I’m doing than strangers around me, I can’t say I look at anyone purposely or find their lives fascinating.
not sure what you meant by that kanaloa but it sounds offensive.
Virginiawool are you a government spy 😁
VladmirsPoutine · 02/09/2022 18:42
I really hate when people stare in public. It's utterly mannerless and in some cultures it's apparently the norm 
I hate it. This is one such reason I still wear a mask.
Longdistance · 02/09/2022 18:45
I people watch. It’s a habit from my flying days. Watching passengers come onto a flight in case they seem ‘dodgy’, for security purposes.
I don’t do it as a bad thing now, I like watching people have fun. More often than not I end up chatting to people.
DillDanding · 02/09/2022 18:45
I love people watching.
We went on a couples hotel/pool/beach type holiday in Feb (not the sort of holiday we usually go on). We bloody loved watching other couples. It was fascinating. I also like watching people in restaurants, but I see people doing it to us, so I don’t feel bad (although I’m very discreet 😂).
After a few days of our holiday, we got chatting to 2 other couples. ‘Oh, we were all convinced you 2 were Italian’ they said to us. They’d clearly been watching too; it’s a thing.
Sunnytwobridges · 02/09/2022 18:45
I love to people watch. People and their interactions really fascinate me. Plus its a way to get away from my mundane life to watch others enjoying their lives.
Plantstrees · 02/09/2022 18:47
People watching is something I do when I am alone abroad. I sit in a cafe with a good book overlooking a square or similar drinking coffee or something cold and watch the comings and goings of people. The piazzas in Rome are particularly entertaining when the dodgy handbag sellers set up, make a couple of sales and then have to scarper because the police are after them. I rarely get to read more than a page or two of my book because people watching is so much more fun.
Sunnyqueen · 02/09/2022 18:48
Can't say I've really ever noticed people doing this but then I'm also not looking at people to notice it in the first place?
mountainsunsets · 02/09/2022 18:49
It’s not a nasty post, I’m curious why anyone wants to or cares what strangers are doing!
If people didn't care about the lives of strangers, reality TV wouldn't exist 
Justwanttobebythesea · 02/09/2022 18:49
I like to people watch if I'm early to meet a friend, having a me-time coffee or waiting for a train etc, it passes the time, however I would look from one person to another rather than stare.
I find this completely different to a stranger staring intensely at a family with children (even worse if they are male). That is not acceptable.
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