To not ‘get’ people watchers?

I'd ask them how they were so sure I was watching them if they weren't watching me

People watching doesn’t appeal. I do however like to watch dogs having a ball on the beach and seagulls doing their thing and try and imagine what it must be like to be them.

Aww, my fondest memories when mum was alive and I was a little girl was sitting on a park bench with an ice cream in blissful silence just watching the world go by. I understand there are creepy people out there OP but the majority aren’t. In fact sometimes I sit down on a bench alone just to remember my mum. She loved just watching the world go by, watching kids play and remember her own loved ones who passed.
What I cannot stand is everyone constantly walking around with their noses down checking their phones and nearly behind run over as a result.

No one can feel someone watching them

I think if you don't do it to some extent you're in a minority. Looking at each other is an important way of learning about the world and social norms. From noting the type of clothes people wear, to how they conduct themselves, we're absorbing all sorts of messages about what's appropriate, what we like, what we don't, what we want to emulate or to avoid doing.

Were you the same OP who posted a similar thread in chat... telling people to stop staring and "read a book instead"? Oh, and tried to police what people were thinking when some posters said they like to make up stories for the people they see pass them by.

I love people watching, and I do like to make up stories about the people I see too.

God, I love people watching. That's not to say I sit and manically stare at people, I just casually observe. I observe what people wear, admiring outfits, I often tell people I like what they're wearing or ask where they got their top/coat etc.

I'm a mum to two young kids and smile at young families with kids because its nice to see.

Everyone, to some extent, people watches, otherwise no one would ever take inspiration from anything.

Lighten up a bit, you might enjoy a bit of quiet observation.

people I know admit to doing it

Once again: because people admit to ‘people watching’ that doesn’t mean they stare at individuals for ages. I think you’re taking the word ‘watching’ too literally here.

As for ‘Why would people be interested in strangers’ - would you not agree that most of us have a natural curiosity and interest in the world around us? It’s just a simple thing that sparks the imagination - almost like a creative writing prompt, really.

Also, you said you were watching seagulls at the beach - is observing the behaviour of birds really very different to observing the behaviour of people? I do both those things, and I don’t think they’re that different! And you’re here on Mumsnet AIBU so presumably you read posts about the lives of strangers and have a passing interest in them.

If it wasn’t natural to be interested in people and their lives, we wouldn’t read fiction or watch drama or people-focused documentaries.

I also love watching the seagulls. Have you read Jonathan Livingston Seagull - I always think about it when I see them at the beach.

I quite like dog watching on the beach - dogs going a bit crazy - I don't even like dogs that much! 😃 obviously i don't specifically go to watch them though. Sometimes I might notice some cute kids or one day we were all entertained for a few minutes, (teen DD noticed them first) ķby a group attempting to play rounders/cricket on the beach and none of them made contact with the ball. We had the idea that it was the young fit looking blokes idea and he was persuading older (not v sporty looking) people to play but it was more amusing that Mr fit guy couldn't do it either!

I remember going to a beach when my DD was 3 and it was just before the school holidays, and the beach was pretty busy with families all with toddlers/pre-school age kids. There was one lone guy sitting watching everyone for ages. He didn't have a phone, or book, or newspaper, and just seemed to be watching everyone else. It made me feel a bit uncomfortable tbh but I don't know if men are judged more harshly.

Well when I’m tired and thinking of other stuff waiting for a train or sitting down a minute I’m sure I look starey but I’m off in my own world. Also short sighted people look like they are staring at you but probably aren’t. I mean most people are glancing about at the world or maybe you like like a supermodel. 😛

I get stared at due to a funny gait due to injury which sometimes pisses me off but it’s just the way people are, usually it’s just a quick glance anyway. Don’t you have to be staring to notice all these eyes on you?

I feel a bit worried now, as I realise I have been staring at families with young children in and around the hotel pool this week on holiday myself. I just find little children so cute and funny, it is hard to take my eyes off them. My DD is 13 now and I miss the toddler times when she was carefree and happy. I really hope I haven’t made anyone feel uncomfortable. But I also spent quite some time watching two blonde girls trying to flirt and cop off with the Turkish head of entertainment at the hotel one evening. I kept trying not to stare but it was quite fascinating to see if he was interested or not (I came to the conclusion he loved himself more than them in the end). I don’t really know why. My DD is pretty quiet and not too chatty so I suppose it was just a way of passing the time and not getting bored during the fairly rubbish entertainment. I studied psychology at University so I find people’s behaviour interesting in general. Will try harder not to be too creepy though in terms of staring, it really hadn’t occurred to me that people would realise or care until your post!

Shhh don't tell everyone

Surely you were watching her to notice she was looking at you?

Mummadeze "I studied psychology at University so I find people’s behaviour interesting in general. Will try harder not to be too creepy though in terms of staring, it really hadn’t occurred to me that people would realise or care until your post!"

the ones who studied are the worst. If you call them out, they "explain" weird shit to you. And the world seems obsessed with psychology now. So people are getting more weird and I find myself thinking I should know more.

you can always get a vibe when people are staring.

It's not for me, but just aimlessly looking out at people walking past and musing about what they might be doing seems harmless. Gawping/staring at someone for a period of time is different entirely, which is what I think the OP was referring to and agree is unacceptable and rude.

If someone told me to stop looking at them I would point out that they must be looking at me to notice me looking at them.

Nope, sometimes you sense someone is looking at you, even with my eyes closed on the Tube. And you glare, they keep gazing...very annoying. Sometimes they are about to sell you religion as well.

Think of me as an amateur ethnographer. I love people watching. There are few things in life that are as interesting as watching people and their interaction in a public place, and it’s free entertainment. If you’re in a private location, or you are being followed, I can see it might be an issue, but if I’m sat on a park bench when you are in the park, then it’s perfectly reasonable for me to watch you. If you don’t like it, move away from me. I’m not interested in you personally, just as one example of the fascinating human race.

Why didn't one of you say hello and enjoy a few pleasantries it wouldn't have been awkward then

I love people watching but that doesn't involve staring at particular individuals.

so ‘thehatels’ you mean if someone was uncomfortable at you staring at them and asked you to stop you would laugh? How do you know they haven’t got learning difficulties or scared of your intentions and you’re causing them mental distress? Doesn’t sound like people watching to me, sounds like borderline harassment/stalking.

OP - context is everything and I did state any 'mental impairment' as part of my original post for an example of reasons not to laugh at you.

I also like Sky Watching, Birds, Boats, Ants and watching/looking at other things too so there is a very good chance that you are in the way of what I'm really looking at. But generally I can blur you out of my vision.

So if you came striding up to me demanding I don't look at you - yes, I would very likely laugh, maybe not even at you, but the 'circumstance' as it is funny.