AIBU?
To not ‘get’ people watchers?
Desertdweller8 · 02/09/2022 18:08
Everywhere I go there are tons of ‘people watchers’ who sit on benches and have their eyes glued to people/families and have no shame in being caught looking. usually I ignore it and keep to myself but it happens so often that I’m starting to question what these people gain in being nosey. There’s nothing about me that would cause wandering eyes to focus on me, I’m just an average person minding my business!
Went for a nice day at the beach before dc go back to school on Monday, sitting on a wall eating lunch and happen to look up at a lone woman watching our every movement from the sand. Found it very uncomfortable so we moved. She then seemed to have moved on to watch another family as we walked past and looked over.
now don’t get me wrong I know there are people that will think ‘how lovely a family enjoying their day’ to watch children play with fond memories of their own, and watching the busy rush of a town/city without focusing on a specific person, but I’m talking about those who intentionally sit and stare for fun with no realisation it may make some feel uncomfortable as they don’t want to be watched by strangers.
i have a friend who purposely goes to a specific cafe every morning to watch people from the window. She puts on social media things like ‘people watching from x if anyone wants to join’. She can’t explain why she does it when I asked. She’s had people approach her to argue about it and some people telling her to look away, from inside the cafe. sometimes she brings her mum and they make a morning of it. Is it loneliness? Boredom? I couldn’t think of anything more pointless than watching a family sit together/eat/walk/talk.
is there anyone here who does it? If so can I ask why? Genuinely trying to understand why it’s so common and enjoyed by so many!
Am I being unreasonable?
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RelationshipOrNot · 03/09/2022 11:38
yanxy · 03/09/2022 11:33
"I prefer to move through the world on my own, as unobserved as possible"
Are you one of those people who whacks others with their rucksack? The ones that have no awareness of others around them? 😆
No, because that would draw people's attention to me, obviously.
HRTQueen · 03/09/2022 12:10
In other countries I have found people to be far more astute than we tent to be here
maybe this is cultural we do not particularly interfere, we not known as a culture of afternoon pastime is people watching and we tend to be reserved with strangers
Anthropology is fascinating I would have loved to have studied this (maybe i will) basically I’m curious (aka as being nosey)
saveforthat · 03/09/2022 12:35
I love people watching especially on holiday. I think most people do it. It does help to use a bit of discretion. I was once having a drink with my very good looking adult mixed race son (I am white, old, overweight). This woman came over from a group and asked what our relationship was. I was so taken aback I told her instead of saying fuck off and mjnd your own. She said people in the group thought he was a Turkish gigolo (we were in Spain) and she thought I was him Mum so she had won. Extreme people watching 🙂
Kanaloa · 03/09/2022 21:24
saveforthat · 03/09/2022 12:35
I love people watching especially on holiday. I think most people do it. It does help to use a bit of discretion. I was once having a drink with my very good looking adult mixed race son (I am white, old, overweight). This woman came over from a group and asked what our relationship was. I was so taken aback I told her instead of saying fuck off and mjnd your own. She said people in the group thought he was a Turkish gigolo (we were in Spain) and she thought I was him Mum so she had won. Extreme people watching 🙂
How rude of them! I must confess on the last thread I was the first to tell the op she was being daft thinking people were ‘invading her privacy’ for looking at her. But, then one poster came along to say how she and her friends would make up ideas about somebody (what their job was, what their name was etc) and then go up and ask them! To me, that’s unacceptable. People watching is just letting the world pass you by and watching it, not imposing on other people with your weird presumptions. Hope you and your son had a good laugh about it anyway!
mondaytosunday · 03/09/2022 21:37
What? People watching is a well known pass time! I sat with my daughter outside at a cafe in Amsterdam last week and we spent a pleasant hour just watching people walk (it cycle, this being Amsterdam). Looking at how they dressed, speculating on relationships etc. I don't stare at one particular person or group for very long. But observing how people interact is very interesting.
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