To think sister is starving herself?

[ScaryBiscuitz]

Sister is living off a bowl of Shreddies and one small meal a day. The Shreddies is her lunch. Small meal for dinner.

She’s lost a lot of weight and was not overweight to start with. WIBU to tell her she’s basically starving herself?

I had an ED for 7 years and most of that time I ate 3 meals a day, but I still got to a stage where drs thought I was days away from dying.
I'm pretty sure threads like this attract people with ED (of which I believe there are many on MN)

You know her.
You are concerned. reach out to her. Have the conversation look at grouos who can support you.
Well done for looking out for her. She is ĺucky to have you.

The only thing I can suggest is maybe complementing how gorgeous she looks and tell her how pretty she is and that you like her outfits etc, anything that will boost her confidence as it sounds like she needs it.

That sort of compliment was one of things that helped fuel my ED. The sad fact is that I never got more compliments or male attention than when I was in the grip of this horrible disorder. It gave me even more justification to keep on doing what I was doing no matter that I was feeling physically and mentally dreadful in the process.

Huge hug to you, keep going on recovery. 💝 You can do it. 🌸
This is a very disordered thread.
I spent years in and out of hospitals and of course I ate. If I ate like OP's sister I would consider myself relapsing and would lose weight.
Please ignore a lot of people on here. I get it. I found this thread triggering too. 💐

Lol That's kind of a big piece of information to leave out!
So he gets his calories in liquid. How does that have relevance here?

What do you think will happen if you say this to her? That she'll thank you for helping her see the light? I think you know that's not the right way to approach it if you genuinely think she has an eating disorder. Unless your intention is just to shame her and make things worse...

Well, it's the kind of thing I ate when I was starving myself (definitely underweight at the time as measured by doctors and definitely not somehow getting 2k calories out of a bowl of ceral and a small meal!)

OP ignore the idiots saying this is not an eating disorder, this is something a professional can only diagnose. What’s her reasons for eating like this? Has she ever been a big eater? What’s her relationship with food and body image like? Is she calorie counting or over exercising? Shredders and a small dinner is in no way a normal amount of food and there’s no way she’s getting enough nutrition in these meals. Is she having any snacks? Fruit even?

myth buster: you can be overweight and still have an eating disorder, you can be underweight and not have an eating disorder.

To add.. an eating disorder can be defined as disordered eating so once they are restricting or even bingeing then that can indicate an eating disorder.

@TimeAtTheBar my sister says the same to me too and it's hugely irritating. I eat when I'm hungry, but apparently I'm starving myself because it's not as much as other people eat. I do find it really annoying when people try to push their eating schedules on to me!

I tried skipping breakfast ONCE. By 12.45 I was so hungry and low I fainted.

Clearly not enough for me! Which is why I'm fat 😅

@Cherryblossom99, please step away from the thread if it'll help. It sounds like you're getting your head back into a good place - don't let other people's disordered thinking derail that. I've seen first hand how hard those first steps of recovery are with eating disorders and you are doing amazingly to be moving in the right direction. This internet stranger wishes you the very best. Keep going, one day at a time, you've got this.

The fact that she has lost a lot of weight and wasn’t overweight to start with is concerning. Shes unlikely to be getting her nutritional needs met from that diet.

These threads attract people with various forms of disordered eating, anyone that thinks eating like this regularly is ok really shouldn’t be listened to.

Do you know why she is eating so little OP? Is she trying to lose weight? Is it a case of lack of money for food?

Thanks so much Pink and Josette, definitely going to step back from this thread. Just can't believe so many people hold these disordered views.

@Watchthesunrise please don't use the word fat on a thread with people who are recovering from an ED.

No I wouldnt say 1450 for a ‘small’ portion of pasta was normal, its very calorie dense!

I would say a small dinner in the OPs context would be 600-800 calories max

A bowl of cereal, two potatoes, a slice of meat and some veg is not enough food for a healthy adult either.

It wouldn't surprise me if your friends and family were similarly worried about you.

@Psychgrad

I don’t think on this occasion it’s fair to chastise a poster about language ( she uses to refer to her own body) on a thread which is clearly about disordered eating / weight loss. If people are triggered then perhaps they need to stay away for their own self preservation, although their contributions are obviously valuable. This is a public forum not therapy.

@Psychgrad Its your responsibility to step away from the thread if you don’t like the language others are using. Unless someone’s using eg racist or sexist language they can use whatever words they want to make their point.

She’s 5ft 10in and now 10st. She was 11st one just a few weeks ago.

She measures out 40g of Shreddies exactly and then for her main meal she counts it to 500 calories or less.

She is always trying to lose weight. It is NOT financial. She joined the gym and found that she didn’t have the energy to complete a work out. This is someone who was once very fit and active.

Ok then this is definitely a problem. I’m not sure how you can approach this without risking her becoming defensive and shutting you out. How old is she? I’m assuming if she’s younger than 18, it might be slightly easier to intervene but if she’s a grown adult there’s probably little you can do except support her and maybe express your concerns in a non-judgemental way. Maybe explain that if she wants to work out then her body needs lots of protein and perhaps educate her on other physical issues from not eating enough. This is really tricky, I’m sorry you’re going through this and I’m also sorry for your sister. Could you encourage her to visit a gp, if they check her iron levels for example it might encourage her to eat more and at least then they could talk to her about concerns.

40g of shreddies with semi milk is 206 calories. I just googled it. That, plus 500 calories for dinner is 706 calories a day. That's half what she should be having and she is clearly not well.

|How would she respond if you said "Sister, I'm worried about you".

10st at 5ft 10 is not very slim. 10st at 5ft 2 would be very over weight.
You could mention your concerns but she doesn't sound like she is under eating.

Losing a stone in 5 to 6 weeks combined with exercise is a healthy weight loss.

I’ve tried to gently suggest that she seems to eat very little but she always says she doesn’t have much appetite so it’s fine. She is already anaemic (her ferritin was 9 last time it was checked) and now she’s going dizzy every time she stands up. I can tell because she’ll stand up and then stand still for a few seconds and lower her head. I’ve never known her not be on a diet but normally it’s fad diets like Atkins, slimming world etc, this is the first time I’ve known her to starve herself and worryingly she sees it as the first time a “diet” has worked. She’s calling it the Shreddies diet.

She looks very slim. What weight would you consider slim for someone at that height?

and she very much is under eating - 800 calories a day??