To think sister is starving herself?

[ScaryBiscuitz]

Sister is living off a bowl of Shreddies and one small meal a day. The Shreddies is her lunch. Small meal for dinner.

She’s lost a lot of weight and was not overweight to start with. WIBU to tell her she’s basically starving herself?

If she is loosing weight and is definitely now underweight now then that is a concern. Are you close to her and would she discuss your concerns with you?

I will say, when I was dieting and lost quite a bit of weight, I kept getting told I was loosing to much and was “too thin” at almost 12 stone. I do have a big frame, am solidly built and I look lighter than I am but by no stretch of the imagination was I “too thin”. This was by quite a few different people too so I think some peoples views of normal weight is skewed.

it really depends on if she is underweight or not.

This shouldn’t even be that sort of discussion. It’s whether a sister is right or not to raise her concerns about some worrying weight loss or not. Not whether shreddies are a suitable lunch food.

That's true and it's not something anyone can answer as one person's idea of 'worrying weight loss' can be very different to another's.

I've read on here too many times an OP saying they still have 2 stone to lose, and yet their friend is telling them they're 'too thin' and need to stop dieting. The general consensus is that people can sometimes be jealous.

On the other hand, the OP may have a point but we'll never know.

I really wouldnt post about this on here ,it's akin to asking how much alcohol is too much ..

X posted with @Threeboysandadog

I’m sorry your Daughter is affected with an ED-
They seem horribly compulsive, almost akin to an addiction to class A’s.
The physical description you gave brings tears to my eyes- One of my friends was like this at 17.
Absolutely you could be describing her.

It’s a serious and worrying condition, and must be infinitely worse these days with the Internet.

I think

I’ve just put a bowl of shreddies, semi skimmed milk, and my portion of home made linguine through MyFitnessPal.

2011 calories.

Perhaps you did look too thin though. Not everyone suits that look. You yourself don't see how small your getting until you look back on pictures. It depends how much bigger you was..

Arabella. I hope your DD keeps up her recovery. I can relate to everything you say as it could have described my experience when I was in the grip of this awful condition. I was always so cold , even in summer my finger and toenails would be blue. Exhausted, utterly depressed and obsessed with cooking for others, keeping up the facade of not being anorexic. No periods, extra body hair , no bowel movements for weeks at a time, terrible irritable, defensive, compulsive exercising. Would look in the mirror and still not see a very thin young woman. It was going on a mini gap year and being around other people my age but being totally unable to do all the fun things they were doing, couldn’t join them to eat, that somehow turned on a switch and made me think I didn’t want to live like this. I very gradually recovered without any help (there really wasn’t much awareness of EDs in the late 70s and early 80s.).

Anorexia is so much more than whether someone is eating a bowl of shreddies and one small meal - there’s a whole pile of red flags that indicate there’s a real problem and not just someone just wanting to lose a stone and is cutting down for a while. I hope your DD keeps up her progress. I remember the absolute distress and terror my DM went through and how angry I would get with her if she suggested anything was wrong or tried to get me to eat more.

I just think someone who thinks a bowl of cereal and a small meal a day is starving themselves, probably isn't the best judge of what defines already slim and lost a lot of weight. Probably someone who was a size 12 now a size 10 ffs.

If a bowl of shreddies and pasta get you over 2000 calories then those are large servings! A cup of shreddies is 180 calories. Most McDonald's meals aren't even 1000 calories.

It’s a big bowl of shreddies tbf. But a small serving of pasta (double cream though!).

That’s my point, we have no idea what a small dinner means, or whether she’s having a great big bowl of cereal.

I don’t know anyone who only eats a cup of cereal btw. We always take the little boxes of cereal with us on holiday (tradition) and laugh at the tiny portions.

That must be an enormous portion to amount to that

To be honest I would be worried OP, that's how anorexia started for me,eating less meals and a smaller amount too eating barely anything and making myself Ill when I did eat anything(or as I called it back then giving up) It started for me when I was 7 and got worse and worse and went on actively till I was 16.

I'm 47 now and not actively anorexic anymore but I'll always have an anorexic persons brain.

I think mine wouldn't have got as bad as it did if someone,anyone had noticed sooner and tried to actually help me!

Eating Disorders in the main don't happen because of a person's weight(I was tiny before the anorexia and so were the 2 other girls I knew that were anorexic,one I met when I was 11 and the other when I was 16) anorexia for me and the 2 friends I made and so many others rears it's ugly head when you so desperately feel like you have no control over anything what so ever.

Yeah I’ve just realised I put too much double cream in (the whole thing not just my portion).

So 1700. Fairly normal amount I would think?

Oh my God. How are people saying that's normal? How is eating one bowl of cereal and one small meal per day going to fulfil your nutritional needs? Ugh.

I'm off to prepare my massive s

*salad, accompanied by the remnants of my family's weekly chicken now.

You are right to be worried, do you have a good relationship? can you ask her if she is intentionally losing the weight? if she were my family I would not want to sit back and watch if I saw too much weight coming off x

Yeah, OP you are on a website where people put weight on on 550 calories🙄

I agree with the few reasonable posts that you should seek some help from ED charity (not on site full of ED) about how to talk to her about it.

If she was slim and is losing weight something is wrong and whether it is ED or finance, it will need to be handle sensitively.

Because it is normal for some people!

I eat tons, just not massive portions (shreddies aside) and fairly well balanced. I’m not losing any weight, and I walk at least 25k steps a day plus lugging casks and kegs and boxes around.

Saying that someone is starving themselves just because they’re not eating a third meal a day is bonkers.

Lost a lot of weight and not over weight to start with being the concerning sentence (and personally I could not manage on less that 3 decent meals a day

Also I am not a Teeny Tiny, before I end up in Reddit. I’m also quite capable of demolishing a pack of biscuits in a sitting if the mood takes me.

I just think it’s ridiculous to post that someone is starving themselves purely because they’re skipping a meal in the arbitrarily decided meal order.

Anyway I think this thread just hit a nerve because my overweight sister says exactly this about me. I’m a size 12 ffs. Perfectly happy with my weight but certainly not underweight like she claims.

If you could describe a few dinners that would be great?

This was almost exactly my eating pattern when I had anorexia except I had yoghurt and granola instead of shreddies.