To think sister is starving herself?

[ScaryBiscuitz]

Sister is living off a bowl of Shreddies and one small meal a day. The Shreddies is her lunch. Small meal for dinner.

She’s lost a lot of weight and was not overweight to start with. WIBU to tell her she’s basically starving herself?

A bowl of Shreddies hardly constitutes "a meal" though. The OP's sister is having no breakfast, a snack at lunchtime and a small meal in the evening. That's surely not enough to keep a body ticking over and is most probably the reason why she's been losing weight.

Well somebody who thinks two meals a day is a starvation diet may not be the best judge of how much weight someone needs to lose

it’s about 700 cals. It’s a starvation diet.

when I had an eating disorder cereal was my “safe” food as well. Mine was bran flakes though- as pointed out it was filling, and it was safe because I thought it had a laxative effect due to the high fibre. Small bowl - 200 cals, then a baked potato, or a tin of beans, or a sandwich for tea- 400 cals. 600-800 cals a day.

eating the same everyday is also a red flag.

What’s about 700 cals? You have no idea what or how much she’s eating?

And one person’s small dinner is another persons normal portion. As I said, DH always has seconds so for him my dinner is small.

And one person’s small dinner is another persons normal portion.

Yeah but if it was normal they wouldn't be losing lots of weight would they....

As others have mentioned if this constitutes a pattern of behaviour then she can definitely be starving herself or what we call restricting her calorie intake. If it's a once in a while thing then of course it's fine.
However the OP also mentioned the weight loss and this now is 2 factors in the ED equation. My advice is to see if there are other factors to add to the picture. For my daughter I had my concerns for a while and well meaning friends and family were all saying it's fine. It was her dance teacher that called me in to raise her concerns that added to the puzzle which along with another mother whose daughter was suffering gave me the confidence to seek help. I thought I had caught it really early but the doctors said because her periods had stopped she must have restricting for a long time (months and months) before I had even noticed.

It’s really hard to know if she is under eating. My sister lost 5 stone, she was over weight but then many people complained she was underweight. She wasn’t she is 5ft 2 and weighed around 9 maybe 9.5 stone.

Lots of misunderstanding on this thread about anorexia and eating disorders. My daughter has had anorexia for 8 years. She stills eats every day, but she is still anorexic. She is monitored on a weekly basis by the eating disorder team. Occasionally we hit a real bad patch and she needs to be admitted but otherwise with lots of support, she functions a normal day to day life. But she still suffers with anorexia. If someone is displaying any sort of disordered eating and it is affecting their weight, then it is a problem. Shreddies and a small meal is not enough, it's very restrictive. The longer it goes on, the more of a problem it will become.

its not hard to know if she is under eating - she is losing a lot of weight

My ‘teeny tiny’ portion btw.

I just think it’s ridiculous to post that someone is starving themselves purely because they’re skipping a meal in the arbitrarily decided meal order.

ffs how many times? It isn’t purely the skipping a meal. The sister has lost a lot of weight. Enough for the op to be worried.

I'd be surprised if anyone would call that a small meal. I mean of course your DH and teenagers will eat more - they need more, but that isn't a small meal for a woman and I assume you're not losing weight from eating that.

Sorry how does this help? the girl is losing lots of weight and the sister is worried, why are u posting a pic of your dinner tonight?

Should change your user name into TwatAtTheBar....

I find your need to prove your food is enough to this extent really weird

Adding to the chorus of voices that this is not normal, and is very typical anorexic behaviour.

A bowl of cereal and then a small dinner would’ve been a typical day for me when I was anorexic. And for all those on this thread going on about some people have naturally very small appetites - yeah sure to some extent, but I was fucking starving 90% of the time.

Also, there’s some ridiculous posts here about how OPs sister couldn’t possibly be anorexic because of the sugar in cereal (!). It boils down to calories consumed. I think I was eating about 700 calories a day, and some days 250 of those calories would be a chocolate bar. Tasty, plus I found it really threw idiots off the scent - “Oh she’s eating a chocolate bar, she must be naturally skinny then!”

Thought you said there was cream in it

This is my diet because I'm a single mum to 2 toddlers. I've lost weight and it's not ideal but it's hard to work back an appetite when it's been going on for so long. Perhaps she is struggling mentally and this is just a symptom

That’s my point. My dh and my sister both tell me I don’t eat enough.

We have nothing to go on from the OP, the sister might be trying to lose a bit of weight because she wants to. Again, my sister loves to tell me I’m too skinny at 10stone.

I just find it weird that everyone jumps immediately to anorexia because of having two meals a day.

Anyway, OP isn’t coming back to explain whether the dinner is half an olive and a carrot stick or just not a whole pizza. I’m weirdly irritated by this thread. My issue. It’s my day off and I’m bored 🤷🏻‍♀️

There is 🧐

You aren’t reading the replies. People have explained what the red flags for potential disordered eating are. You aren’t bothering to listen.

She’s eating 2 meals a day instead of 3, which is a good way to lose weight as it cuts out an entire meals calories.

That in itself isn’t an issue but you say she wasn’t overweight and has already lost weight which is obviously worrying as she must be underweight now.

Unfortunately, there is not much you can say to someone if they are unhappy with their weight.

The only thing I can suggest is maybe complementing how gorgeous she looks and tell her how pretty she is and that you like her outfits etc, anything that will boost her confidence as it sounds like she needs it.

The only thing I can suggest is maybe complementing how gorgeous she looks and tell her how pretty she is and that you like her outfits etc, anything that will boost her confidence as it sounds like she needs it.

I would be careful if it is ED. For my bulimic friend this was basically saying the more she loses the prettier she gets. It was interesting to later listen to het thought processes.
Nice things were totally changing context in her brain.

Why on earth does some randomer on MN think a pic of their meal is a) interesting or b) relevant?

Or we when we said she lost bit toouch we were all jealous and wanted her fat. It waa just horrific to listen to her later to tell us all this we had no idea about.

Nonetheless, this may not be an ED, there are few other options, but if it is it's just hard to say anything right

Maybe sit down and have a chat with her generally to see how she is feeling about things. Is she stressed or worried about anything, does she seem generally happy and confident in herself. There’s no need to mention what she is eating or her weight loss to begin with, I’d check in and see if you can get her to open up.

Of course it's disordered eating.

I'd be worried she was getting enough nutrients if she's only eating one meal a day? Is there any snacking? It's very hard to get a balanced diet on 1 meal a day (a bowl of cereal is not a meal)