Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Businessmen train wankers

112 replies

HandbagsnGladrags · 01/09/2022 16:17

AIBU to think that if you're on a train going out of London and you know there's like a billion tunnels and zero phone signal, you don't sit there on the phone like a self important wanker ringing everyone in your contacts and saying 'have I lost you again'.....'yah, been in London with clients'.....'hello, can you hear me? on repeat for the entire frickin journey?

Also, angry typer and crisp cruncher can also fuck off.

Now where did I put my airpods?

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 01/09/2022 16:20

Another reason they can’t drag me back into the office! I do not miss the commute at all

ClaudiusTheGod · 01/09/2022 16:22

It’s the number of people working on their commute that I don’t understand. Sit and read, look out of the window and have a little daydream, instead of giving yet more to The Man.

Sunnyqueen · 01/09/2022 16:23

Beat them up at their own game especially if they are sitting next to you. Ring up your best friend or your nan and have loud, inane conversations on married at first sight, how you managed your hangover on Sunday, where your going for your next holiday that sort of thing. Make sure to add high pitched cackling laughter every 10 seconds. The thicker you sound the more you'll annoy them.

Preeeettyprettygood · 01/09/2022 16:24

Haha reminded me of Bob Mortimer's "Train guy" 😂😂

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 01/09/2022 16:24

I swear they just do it to look important. I mean, I'm relatively important within my organisation but I have no interest in conducting work conversations on the train. Apart from the confidentiality issues, I don't want to look like a twat.

OP posts:
Vecnasnurse · 01/09/2022 16:28

And late night trains are full of very drunk/coked up businessmen train wankers that think the entire carriage want to take part in loud, obnoxious banter. I hope a rat eats their briefcase.

hoorayandupsherises · 01/09/2022 16:30

Vecnasnurse · 01/09/2022 16:28

And late night trains are full of very drunk/coked up businessmen train wankers that think the entire carriage want to take part in loud, obnoxious banter. I hope a rat eats their briefcase.

That's a very specific wish there. I feel like you've given it some considerable thought 😂

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 01/09/2022 16:32

Who even has a briefcase any more?!

It's always middle aged men in cheap suits, too tight shirts and shiny shoes. Please tell me they're a dieing breed and there will be none left soon.

OP posts:
BlusteryLake · 01/09/2022 16:35

They are always having such inane, self important conversations, as if they are the only person who has a PA or direct reports.

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 01/09/2022 16:40

BlusteryLake · 01/09/2022 16:35

They are always having such inane, self important conversations, as if they are the only person who has a PA or direct reports.

This guy was discussing a potential new recruit and whether or not she was worth £70k. I'm sure the lady in question would be thrilled if she knew the entirety of carriage F on the Kings Cross to Leeds could hear her future career being discussed.

OP posts:
SemiDetachedKittenAsylum · 01/09/2022 16:40

Please get on your phone and compete with them. Extra points if you manage to utter the phrases “touch base” and “have a campachoochoo on me, yah!” 😂

DdraigGoch · 01/09/2022 16:40

HandbagsnGladrags · 01/09/2022 16:24

I swear they just do it to look important. I mean, I'm relatively important within my organisation but I have no interest in conducting work conversations on the train. Apart from the confidentiality issues, I don't want to look like a twat.

Someone online somewhere was sat behind a man who was being so indiscreet that the poster had enough info to phone the man up, pretend to be the PA of the bigwig he was meeting, and tell him that the meeting had been postponed by an hour.

Fe2O3Girl · 01/09/2022 16:43

SemiDetachedKittenAsylum · 01/09/2022 16:40

Please get on your phone and compete with them. Extra points if you manage to utter the phrases “touch base” and “have a campachoochoo on me, yah!” 😂

Yah, yah, THE Geoff Linton!

You are, as ever, a combusted otter.

Atmywitsend29 · 01/09/2022 16:47

Last time I took the train into London there were two vvvv important businessmen in suits sat at the table next to me.
One of them was talking about how inconvenient it is that he sold his porsche and bought a Tesla and still has to get the train into work because his new shiny Tesla isn't suitable for the commute.
I nearly wee'd.

gatehouseoffleet · 01/09/2022 16:48

HandbagsnGladrags · 01/09/2022 16:24

I swear they just do it to look important. I mean, I'm relatively important within my organisation but I have no interest in conducting work conversations on the train. Apart from the confidentiality issues, I don't want to look like a twat.

Oh they really do, it's so annoying, especially if they are in the quiet carriage which says so on the doors in big letters!

I have told them to pipe down and stop discussing confidential work info before now!

EvelynSalt · 01/09/2022 16:48

Add to that the very very important businessman who is loudly inconvenienced by you sitting next to him in your allocated seat. Dramatic huffing and aggressive elbows the entire way to London. FFS.

apintortwo · 01/09/2022 16:54

They are annoying, yes, but I think you're being too dramatic OP 😂

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 01/09/2022 16:54

EvelynSalt · 01/09/2022 16:48

Add to that the very very important businessman who is loudly inconvenienced by you sitting next to him in your allocated seat. Dramatic huffing and aggressive elbows the entire way to London. FFS.

Not forgetting the fucking mahoosive laptop which takes up the entire table so that you can't even put your coffee down.

He's just got off. Am almost disappointed at the lack of ongoing entertainment 😂

OP posts:
MiauzenKatzenjammer · 01/09/2022 17:15

Vecnasnurse · 01/09/2022 16:28

And late night trains are full of very drunk/coked up businessmen train wankers that think the entire carriage want to take part in loud, obnoxious banter. I hope a rat eats their briefcase.

I hope they swallow their dongle and it takes them 72 hours to retrieve it.

hop321 · 01/09/2022 17:16

Give me a businessman wanker every time over a video or music player. They can't possibly use headphones when their phone has a speaker so the whole carriage has to listen along.

User135644 · 01/09/2022 17:18

It's almost impossible to have a journey without having phonecalls going on around you.

There was a time people generally would leave the carriage to make a phone call and it was mainly the business wanker who would sit there and not give a fuck. Now it's everyone.

User135644 · 01/09/2022 17:19

hop321 · 01/09/2022 17:16

Give me a businessman wanker every time over a video or music player. They can't possibly use headphones when their phone has a speaker so the whole carriage has to listen along.

These people are genuinely evil.

FangsForTheMemory · 01/09/2022 17:20

I'll never forget when actual cellphones were first a thing for the very rich, some twat getting out his phone on the central line at White City and starting a performance conversation IN FRENCH for the benefit of everyone in the carriage. My toes needed a week to uncurl after that.

Feelinglow27 · 01/09/2022 17:27

I am one of those people who work on the train but its not because I'm giving myself up to the man 🤣

Working on my one hour commute in means I get to leave work one hour earlier

Feelinglow27 · 01/09/2022 17:27

Just to be clear, I don't do phone calls though

Swipe left for the next trending thread