Businessmen train wankers

[HandbagsnGladrags]

AIBU to think that if you're on a train going out of London and you know there's like a billion tunnels and zero phone signal, you don't sit there on the phone like a self important wanker ringing everyone in your contacts and saying 'have I lost you again'.....'yah, been in London with clients'.....'hello, can you hear me? on repeat for the entire frickin journey?

Also, angry typer and crisp cruncher can also fuck off.

Now where did I put my airpods?

Its a feature of train travel. I remember them having 'quiet' carriages where you weren't meant to use your phone. Some just seemed to consider it a better place for them as they didn't have to compete with other users. Heaven help anyone who complained or the poor guard (remember them?) if he tried to get them to put the phone away.

I remember one Friday evening travelling and the lady opposite calling her friend to let her know that her husband was away and she was going to see her boyfriend.

lots of business calls (HR were best for interest - who needs dpr when you have a phone).

Sometimes I do miss the overheard conversations 😀shouldn't listen in but I suspect most of the carriage got to hear some of them.

These people are genuinely evil.

It's usually younger people but this week's culprit was a rather well dressed gentlemen in his 70s. His endless video was still bloody loud half a carriage away so I confess I had a polite word.

He looked a bit surprised (partly as I had to shout three times over the noise before he could hear me) but did have the grace to turn off the volume.

At a place I used to work someone was not discreet on public transport that another commuter worked out where they worked, what project they were working on and other details and put them on Twitter!!

All hell broke loose and our whole department got a bollocking about company reputation

I thought the Tweet was genius especially as I always had a pretty good feeling who the indiscreet person was and they were a twat anyway

Yes! It’s so on the money 🤣

I used to get the train every morning and got really bemused by some of the train business wanker antics - the best one was two laptop wankers sat facing each other on the train table - both trying to push their laptops to claim more table territory and force the other's laptop back towards them. This one went on for miles and miles.

I've also sat behind someone incredibly bemused as they were doing a staff training powerpoint that managed to include absolutely EVERY feature of staff training sessions, and every possible slide animation - that everyone hates across the universe.

Last time I took the train into London there were two vvvv important businessmen in suits sat at the table next to me

I don't fully get the 'vvvvv important businessmen' on the 7pm train scenario. Surely if you are that critical or loaded you would be helicoptered or chauffeaured à la Alan Sugar at least? 😁

Reminds me of the cartoon many years ago, showing a man shouting into his phone, "Hello dear, just calling to show everyone what a prat I am!"

It's mostly either a complete lack of self awareness or just solipsism (i.e. no consideration for others).

Ah but they only THINK they're vvvv important though. And want everyone else to believe their bullshit.

The nob on my train hung up one of his calls with a wry little laugh and muttered 'it never ends' to no one in particular. He was reveling in his business and importantness.

busyness

My first thought too. Love those videos!

Oh I hate this, my blood is boiling along with yours OP! “Yah I’m on a train so I’ll probably lose you”… so why even try?! Aaaargh!

Not just trains. Sitting beside a woman probably in her seventies in a hospital waiting room looking at videos on her phone at a loud volume. Couldn't believe she would think that at all appropriate. Everyone else just quietly waiting looking at their phones in silence. It was the breast clinic and I was waiting on a friend.

Oh God yes, the salary braggers! They want to show that they work in a high salary sector, so simply must have that recruitment conversation on the train "Seeing as she's so junior, I'd err on the side of caution and start her on £85K" Yawn.....

Play Train Guy clips just as loud as they’re talking.

Then have a campachoochoo on him.

On one train journey, a train wanker gave his phone number out so when I got off the train I texted him to tell him he was being a prat.

I’d love to have seen his reaction, looking around the carriage.

Can’t remember his reply but it was very pompous and slightly flirty which was weird. Bleurgh.

Don't let it annoy you just view it as in train entertainment.

They are not that important. When I was a really senior director I used to get picked up by a company driver so I could carry on working when going into London. You would never guess from looking at me now though. It was a very long time ago and I am just an old lady in comfy shoes.

Yep, my OH always gets a chauffeured car to and from meetings!

Showing my age but when I used to commute to London I'd love watching them play 'My Newspaper is Bigger than Your Newspaper' and holding their arms rigid whilst grimacing to maximise their space 😆

I hate these people as much as the next man but to be fair some people have to work on the train…

Yes, I’ve had to not-so-gently bat away manspreading newspapers before now

Wankers

The level of wankery is inversely proportionate to the actual importance of the job. I think it's called Treyne-Touatte's Law.

Tweeting the conversation and tagging the company is a brilliant move. I will remember this and do it if I overhear confidential stuff.

The best (worst) place to find the greater spotted wannabe Wolf of Wallstreet is in their habitat - the airport lounge. Propper business people know these places are highly likely to be full of their compeitiors and even clients so the last thing they want is eavesdroppers so you see their mouths moving but don't hear a single word. Whereas the self important sit, wine glass in hand starting every pointless pantomime call with "Just touching base to walk you through the deck I just sent".