To not say hello to mum's friend when she visits

[pieami]

I'm an adult currently living with my mum in order to save and buy a house. My mum's friend is currently downstairs and I've told my mum (respectfully) I won't say hi. I'm working from home and honestly could spare the time.

AIBU?

My friends adult children always come & say hello. I cant remember the last time I saw one of her daughters when she wasn't in her pj's. I'm there for a coffee or drinks so I expect them to be relaxing in their own home dressed comfortably.

I'd rather see them briefly wearing pj's than not see them

@pieami

it’s day time OP maybe get dressed

@pieami in my household we don't go out of out way to say hello no, expecially if I feel a mess. Obviously if they see that person when coming downstairs I'd be polite and say hello etc but wouldn't come down just for that reason if it was only for my mams friend. I get bad anxiety though so like to stay out of the way which can come off rude when it's really not.

But in the time it's taken OP to write this post and the several replies (pklus, I assume reading all the PPs' posts) she could have popped on a pair of jeans and a hoodie and tied her hair into a ponytail?

I think OP is just looking for justification, but already suspects she's being unreasonable.

It's mum's friend, she's not there to see OP and OP is working. It would be different if OP was sitting watching TV in the next room.

I'd expect an adult living in their mother's home to show social courtesy to DM and her guests. Just meet and greet then excuse yourself for work.

It sounds like the sort of thing that would happen when you are a teen "come down and say hi to Sandra, she's not seen you in ages". As an adult I wouldn't, not unless you consider them a personal friend too.

My friend's adult kids always take a moment to say hi, and I enjoy and appreciate that. My kids did the same when they were still here and I had friends round.

It barely takes a minute, but it's a nice thing.to do. Even if, as I suggested in OP's case, it's called out down the stairs.

I have suffered from MH problems, and one thing that would be guaranteed to make me feel even worse is hanging around in the daytime in my pyjamas - especially if I'm supposed to be working. OP, don't you feel more professional if you're dressed?

That aside, you are being rude for not popping your head round the door, saying hello, and then leaving them to it.

Yes.

Then why are you being a rude twat?

I’m calling reverse.

If I asked my sons to say hello to my friends I would want them to do so, but I can't imagine why I would. I might mention to my friends that the boys are in their rooms (if they are) so they don't think I'm alone in the house, but, unless the boys were actively walking past the living room, I wouldn't expect them to come down specifically.

Maybe just stay in your room lovey...
'Edna' doesn't need to see you looking like Worzel Gumage in a face mask.
Have fun...

Well, your job can't be that important if you're in your jammies with a face pack on and wasting time on here.
Just put your head round the door, say hi and that you're working.

hair mask, sorry

100%! Maybe it's cultural, but there is absolutely no way I could be in my mum's house and not say hello to visitors, and I expect the same from my kids.

I’d pop down on my pjs and dressing gown say hello, how are you and leave it as that

YABU.

Would you expect a man to do this?

“I’m an adult…”

I’m unconvinced. This is pretty teenage stuff.

I would.

It's just basic manners IMO.

If you're working I don't think it's unreasonable to stay in your room. I wouldn't expect someone to come and greet me if they were supposed to be working from home. Even if they had time, they still might have other stuff to get on with, or just not be in a sociable mood after working.

If you were a child or teenager then I don’t think you need to buy if still encourage it.

But as an adult I definitely think you should pop your head around the door and say hi nice to see you. I’m working so can’t chat but didn’t want to be rude.

If you didn’t want to see them your mum could just say you’re at home but working.

“Hi xxx please excuse my scruffiness - I’m working from home, better get back to it, see you soon”…

literally a 2 second conversation when you’re next making a cup of tea. Hiding in the house and texting your mum that you won’t say hello is really odd and unnecessary.