I can’t cater for everyone

[Hadenough201]

Hi first time poster but am at my witts end and have lost perspective and don’t know if I am being unreasonable. Basically I used to love cooking and been on courses etc however trying to accommodate for all the dislikes and preferences my children and step children have and husband is making every meal a battle and I now dread trying to think of something. After a particularly bad week I delacred have had enough and said I will not be cooking for anyone but me. I know this unreasonable after I calmed down ! So said we need to talk about how to make this work so I am asking for what rules or even meal suggestions that you may have to give background

husband is gluten intolerant

eldest daughter has autism so that brings some texture difficulties and also foods touching ( however will eat most foods and tbh sepearting her portion apart is not an issue what is causing some conflict is he need to know in advance and also change of plans or brands/ingredients etc)

younger daughter doesn’t like pasta or fish or milk/creamy sauces

son is very picky but loves any red meat and broccoli!

stepdaughter is vegan

Stepson doesn’t like any form of potatoe (even chips!)

younger stepson is lactose intolerant

sorry that is so long but thanks I’m advance

How old are all the DC?

cripes! I think I’d just come up with say 10 meals that everyone likes and you and your partner constantly rotate them. Or is that impossible? Sounds tough!

Sorry I forgot my youngest stepson doesn’t like grains such as quinoa, buckwheat, spelt etc and the older step son hates any form of beans

Gif the lucky ones maybe just whack done sliced bread and butter or whatever on the table do they can sub for the bits they don’t like, and do bowls in the middle so people help themselves?

Need to know the ages

Sorry ‘ for the picky ones.’

Thanks for the reassurance I am not just moaning over nothing now ! The ages are

DD 13
DD 10
DS 7

DSD 14
DSS 9
DSS 6

Yeah I think 4 meal ideas worked out and written down, and just rotate. Way too challenging.

You definitely need to split the responsibility of planning, preparing, shopping cooking 50/50
with your DH.
It sounds a nightmare.

Oh no sorry I forgot to mention one other thing is that due to texture my eldest won’t eat gluten free pasta or bread etc but I don’t mind cooking two pots of pasta and the same sauce if that’s it ! Not loads other amendments. I am keen to accommodate my eldest as she is underweight and simply doesn’t eat if she can’t tolerate it but she funnily enough doesn’t make a fuss or argue about it at the table unlike everyone else so often it goes unnoticed that she hasn’t eaten until it’s too late

DH no gluten
DD 13 yes to separate food
DD 10 no pasta, fish, creamy sauces
DS 7 yes to red meat & broccoli, no to lots

DSD 14 no mat, dairy, eggs
DSS 9 no potatoes, no beans
DSS 6 no lactose, no grains

Is that right?

Wow,that is tough! I think in your shoes I would go smorgasbord style and let everyone self assemble their own meal. So maybe have one grilled meat, one vegan protein, one carb your husband will eat, one carb for everyone else (eg flatbread, naan, rice, tortilla) and some salady bits or veg. Everyone can assemble their own meal based on what they like. It won't be gourmet cooking but everyone will get fed.

I'd Cater to the intolerances/ allergies but the personal preferences would be catered to. Simply tell the rest to Eat what you like on the plate and leave what you don't.

I'd start with a list of ingredients everyone is ok with and go from there. A plant based/vegan cookbook might help because of avoiding fish and milk

The one who won't eat pasta gets the pasta sauce on a jacket potato or with crusty bread?

The one who won't eat potatoes gets something sweet potato that you can easily cook alongside? Or bread and butter?

How often are your sc with you?

Try and make meals with a centre element that can be be adapted eg. Meatballs, so tomato sauce then add meat/gluten free version and a vegan/dairy free one (ikea vegan ones are really nice) keep some separate for the child who doesn’t like food touching. Then serve with jacket potatoes or pasta.

Try and come up with a few meals like that so while you are still cooking different things it’s not having to think of 5 different dinners? I think trying to get a meal that everyone likes/can eat that is exactly the same for each person would be super hard!

Good luck!

That’s correct apart from younger stepson will have rice and eldest daughter doesn’t like certain textures such as gluten free bread or pasta or mouse or banana

Would a roast dinner work if served up family style plus a add a vegan protein component?

Could you do rice, stir fried veg and meat separately or would multiple vegetables cooked together be a problem?

Same for noodles (with a pack of gf for gluten intolerant)?

Sorry, this may be useless! I'm lucky that as a family we eat most things.

That's ridiculous. Could you meal plan for everyone for the week then do batch/all the cooking one day at the weekend then you can just have a selection of essentially ready meals to pick from during the week?

Don't you just wish it was still the era of going to nans - a variety of some stew or casserole was placed on the table once a day and that was that. To say you didn't like it was unheard of and would have just been laughed at. No digging there mine are fussy too just thankfully fussy with same stuff.

TBF I’m not sure I’d like the texture of mouse either

Like others I’d split meals into components.

Protein:

chicken, sausages, beef, pork, lamb, burgers/meatballs

Then add carbs, 2x types if needed e.g. pasta/GF pasta, and bread/garlic bread. Or rice and chips.

Then veg & accompaniments - find several variations and serve at least 2x per meal so that all will eat at least one of e.g

roast root veg & sweetcorn/peas
tomato sauce & broccoli
mashed sweet potato & cabbage

No one will be 100% happy all the time, but it will be better than trying to find a magic solution.

Get them all to write down 3x favourite meals each. Then try to break them down into the above components.

God this sounds horrific. But yes you need to start with common ground and do from there. I’d be tempted to do tapas style dinner - bread, plain pasta, plain rice, veg sauce and meat/vegan sausages. People take what they can!

Sounds like everyone except the vegan can eat a red meat/vegetable combo. Could base meals on that and add in grains and extra veg for those who want them.

I think I’d do buffet style meals int he middle of the table, but over cook a lot and get a good batch of everything stocked up in the freezer so there’s always a meal for someone floating about! That sounds really tough though op I don’t envy you at all!

roast dinner is a good idea, I’ve done vegan/gluten free/halal/meat roasts before and it’s not too tricky