Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lighthearted !! Just done the best fart ever

134 replies

oldstudentmum · 30/08/2022 20:07

As the title says my youngest has been spraying air freshener and gagged. I’m so proud (and laughing). I am sat on my own in kitchen now .

My eldest 25 has just come into the kitchen complaining about the air fryer not being cleaned. Omg it smells like the drains. What the fuck did I eat the tinned ham could not have produced this .

25 yr old is looking at me with a look of I know it’s you and got his 8 yr old brother out to ask him something!! 8yr old knows about my excessive flatulent arse had smelled it earlier and has decamped to front room., refusing to come into kitchen he still has air freshener in his hand.

just gone to loo checked underwear fine , sprayed everywhere with Marc Jacob as the smell was clinging. It was so hot when I farted I thought I may have singed my minge this is the worse. Thank god I’m single or perhaps this is the reason I’m single ?

Anyway it seems to be calming down I’m sharing it on mumsnet as I’m really proud and don’t want to share anywhere else like Facebook as my friends and family will think I’m disgusting and may share it. But here my arse is anonymous and no one I know can judge me!!

OP posts:
loveislouderthanwar · 30/08/2022 20:12

I fart like a man lol!!! Fanny farts as well! God you must be so proud lol Smile

BlueKaftan · 30/08/2022 20:12

That’s a lot of pride. 😳

Raquelos · 30/08/2022 20:14

hahahah yep, a good fart that doesn't become a shart is a gift from the gods.

All hail the fart queen of the day

😂😂😂

PonyTime · 30/08/2022 20:14

Nothing better than a good fart

Especially a room clearer

My best was when I took part in vegan January last year whilst pregnant

It caused an evacuation of the house! I was even sick from the smell

XenoBitch · 30/08/2022 20:15

Better out than in!

roopeedoopeedooo · 30/08/2022 20:16

I'm not a fan of the room clearing fart but I am partial to a really good lip rippler. I feel compelled to tell whoever I'm with about it too which doesn't always go down well. Suppose ours better than smelling it though 😂

VladmirsPoutine · 30/08/2022 20:20

I don't know I find this kind of thing just very disgusting. It might make me po-faced but being so proud of something so disgusting enough to sicken your family is just gross.

Lunar270 · 30/08/2022 20:26

😂 50/50 split on votes so far.

How people get so grossed out is beyond me when there's so much joy to be had.

Well done OP 😂

Isaidnoalready · 30/08/2022 20:28

Lentil chips

As long as your committed to staying single

Eat the bag

Raquelos · 30/08/2022 20:30

VladmirsPoutine · 30/08/2022 20:20

I don't know I find this kind of thing just very disgusting. It might make me po-faced but being so proud of something so disgusting enough to sicken your family is just gross.

This kind of response just increases the glee tbh

sst1234 · 30/08/2022 20:31

VladmirsPoutine · 30/08/2022 20:20

I don't know I find this kind of thing just very disgusting. It might make me po-faced but being so proud of something so disgusting enough to sicken your family is just gross.

People like this deserve an extra smelly one if they are in the vicinity.

BearPunter · 30/08/2022 20:31

My other half does the most tremendous farts first thing in the morning - so loud they rattle the windows but they very rarely smell at all! Amazes me because I'm a lot quieter but very smelly - sometimes if I time it right I can make him think it's him creating the smell so he goes off to the toilet muttering about his weak stomach lining and the pizza he had last night...

Nothing funnier than a fart - I share an office and did once have to stop a colleague walking in just as I was about to walk out... I was going to brazen it out but he's a really nice guy and I just couldn't do it to him.

Georgeskitchen · 30/08/2022 20:33

The judgy comments will be coming from those who claim they don't fart. Like hell they don't!!🤧🤧🤢🤢🤥

Preeeettyprettygood · 30/08/2022 20:34

Your farty arse aiming for classics?

smellycat77 · 30/08/2022 20:34

I don't know why but these threads make me belly laugh. It's the immaturity in me, never grow out of a fart joke.

I suffer badly with constipation at times and after a few days of no toilet my farts are rank. I try to blame the baby.

Bubblebubblebah · 30/08/2022 20:36

Fart humour is welcome in my house😁

As someone who has stress induced bloating, I don't think we have another option! Peter Griffin would blush here

notgoingthisyear · 30/08/2022 20:37

I love a good fart. It's generally in bed I do them. They're loud and change keys a few times but very rarely do they smell

Skatewing · 30/08/2022 20:39

How does it compare to the lady that did a fart that sounds like chewbacca? 🤣

Dragonskin · 30/08/2022 20:41

I was just drifting off to sleep the other night and did one so long and loud it woke my DH up. I had to blame the cat (who looked at me in disgust and ran off) and try not to giggle

Gottoomuchgoingon · 30/08/2022 20:42

Well done you. 😎

PinkButtercups · 30/08/2022 20:43

Oh as if people don't fart! I can't believe people don't fart in front of their partners 🤣.

I recently farted and my DP said 'fuck me that's definitely a metformin fart' I know my friend, I know.

In both pregnancies I've had GD and recently started taking it again and for a short time it makes my farts stink!

RaRaRaspoutine · 30/08/2022 20:43

the worst I’ve ever done was fuelled by ryvita. Fuck me it hung around, like it was sat damply in the air.

fourquenelles · 30/08/2022 20:44

Whoever was in the next tent to me last weekend at a music festival was wet farting all night. Never heard anything like it in my life before. I was very tempted to tell them to check their pants in the morning but I am far too British for that.

BarbaraofSeville · 30/08/2022 20:46

Years ago I went on holiday with DP and 4 of his mates. They were all trying to rein it in a bit 'because there was a lady present' until I accidentally let one rip and after that, all bets were off.

By the end of the week I was out farting the lot of them and was crowned champion farter of the holiday.

RaRaRaspoutine · 30/08/2022 20:46

“Singed my minge” and “lip rippler” hahahahaha