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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Had my Limit on the Weird Neighbours

138 replies

User57327259 · 29/08/2022 21:01

I have had a couple of Threads on here about the issues I have with some neighbours. On both threads over 80% said I was not being unreasonable. They have really annoyed me with their carry on now. I am trying to think of a way of getting an end to this carry.
I have spoken to Police and Social Work. I am disabled and as such that is a Protected Characteristic. It is supposedly illegal to treat me badly. This is also a recorded diary of the conduct by official parties. The Management Company are also aware.
The last suggestion from the Police was that I should tell my relatives. At first I thought this was not an idea to be considered but as this constant harassment continues I am reconsidering that option. I will not be hanging around if that is the only viable option
I think that there is possibility that this is a mental health issue causing their conduct however that may be me being too kind to bad people. They might be just nasty all the way through. I am now thinking of contacting the local GP Surgeries to try to have them investigate. I am very worried and scared living with the uncertainty of what they are going to do next.
I feel that I am about to be unable to stay in my house safely and without fear. They are totally irrational.
Would writing to the GP be a good option ?

OP posts:
ThermoSpooklear · 01/09/2022 11:50

Are you obliged to inform potential buyers of these disputes if you do decide to sell?

User57327259 · 01/09/2022 12:15

@MRex spoke to police they say it is not harassment, it is minor, it is subjective, they are nosey neighbours, overstepping boundaries, they are too involved in other people's business etc. They are passing the buck over to the management company, who have already denied any responsibility.
@Agadoodoododont I was all done with the GP thoughts on the first page. There is no tenancy agreement the properties are not rented. Police deny it is harassment. MP has been emailed but not responded so far.
@Thinkingblonde car parking spaces are not marked but each person kept to their regular spaces. Some have garages but prefer to park in the parking spaces making the pressure for space worse. One end space is always taken by a garage owner, the other end space is constantly filled by someone who hardly uses their car. I try to ignore them but they address me. I will not respond now.
@ThermoSpooklear not obliged to tell potential buyers of any disputes in my area. Thankfully.

OP posts:
ThermoSpooklear · 01/09/2022 12:29

User57327259 · 01/09/2022 12:15

@MRex spoke to police they say it is not harassment, it is minor, it is subjective, they are nosey neighbours, overstepping boundaries, they are too involved in other people's business etc. They are passing the buck over to the management company, who have already denied any responsibility.
@Agadoodoododont I was all done with the GP thoughts on the first page. There is no tenancy agreement the properties are not rented. Police deny it is harassment. MP has been emailed but not responded so far.
@Thinkingblonde car parking spaces are not marked but each person kept to their regular spaces. Some have garages but prefer to park in the parking spaces making the pressure for space worse. One end space is always taken by a garage owner, the other end space is constantly filled by someone who hardly uses their car. I try to ignore them but they address me. I will not respond now.
@ThermoSpooklear not obliged to tell potential buyers of any disputes in my area. Thankfully.

Hope it works out for you. It's horrible to be uncomfortable in your own home, the place you should feel safest.

OverCCCs · 01/09/2022 12:55

You’d go down in the history books as the world’s worst neighbour if you get your relatives to go intimidate and threaten your elderly neighbours. And probably get a visit from the police yourself, and possibly a lawsuit. Lord.

Please get some MH and social services help. Even just the very fact that you and only you are creating multiple threads in a matter of days can be a signal to yourself that you don’t know how to navigate the world in the way others find instinctive.

OverCCCs · 01/09/2022 12:56

*multiple threads on the same incident/topic, that should say

OneTC · 01/09/2022 13:05

If I had big sweary aggy family in your situation I reckon I'd invite them round a bit.

User57327259 · 01/09/2022 13:13

@ThermoSpooklear It certainly does not make for a happy life to have this carry on around what is supposed to be my home.
@OverCCCs I have no wish to involve my family in what goes on around my home. Police suggested that I tell my relatives and I have refused to do so. I would be worried sick if my parents lived with neighbours who carry on like this. It is very unpleasant and would worry my family. It would worry me if they knew. The situation would not have arisen if neighbours had minded their own business and stopped trying to rule the area.
I did not get that I could have continued on the original thread but I get that now. I maybe was not as quick to understand the procedure here.
I have already stated that I am having CBT and the more this carries on the worse my score gets. That is being tracked. Again the cure would be if the neighbours kept their noses out of other people's business.

OP posts:
MRex · 01/09/2022 13:58

spoke to police they say it is not harassment, it is minor
On here you kept going over and over 3 conversations, 2 of which happened months ago. If that's how you spoke to the police before, then they may have not realised the volume of incidents. Or the number of incidents is actually very small. One of the two. Your next steps are to keep a log and to send a letter as we've been saying, are you going to do that?

User57327259 · 01/09/2022 14:36

@MRex The whole interference thing started from the very first time I ever came here. So it have been going on over 2.5 years approx. The unpleasantness really ramped up over time.
I have started a log, but again my technical knowledge was poor and I used emails, so I am going to start another log in Word so that it can be added to from memory and from payments to workmen.
It is just all so unpleasant and not what makes a good life. They are only neighbours but the interference is every time I go outside of my flat.

OP posts:
Puffalicious · 01/09/2022 17:15

OverCCCs · 01/09/2022 12:55

You’d go down in the history books as the world’s worst neighbour if you get your relatives to go intimidate and threaten your elderly neighbours. And probably get a visit from the police yourself, and possibly a lawsuit. Lord.

Please get some MH and social services help. Even just the very fact that you and only you are creating multiple threads in a matter of days can be a signal to yourself that you don’t know how to navigate the world in the way others find instinctive.

This is spot on- yet you're still ignoring it OP and still here complaining. The police have said it's not harassment- it's clearly just a nosey neighbour. Move on, ignore, live your life- and stop posting about it FGS!

HappyHamsters · 01/09/2022 17:55

You will need to declare this if youre in the uk if you sell

Tiani4 · 01/09/2022 19:47

Your posts are difficult to read OP as they say little about what is factually happening, in a lot of generalised words

It is the police who decide if neighbours behaviour towards you constitutes harassment and you need evidence or it's a "he said she said" situ if it's about low level believes verbal threats (like the one off threat to stack your old cabinet doors left out in communal areas against your front door) - one that wasn't carried out.

As for safeguarding.. Hmmunless you have care and support needs under The Care Act 2014 AND actual abuse AND you lack the ability to protect yourself - wince you rang the police and discussed with them- then it won't be anywhere near Adult social care statutory level. I can't see safeguarding issues here. I can see a person who feels misunderstood and not treated kindly by a neighbour or two.

Social workers don't have time, mandate, resources nor any statutory reason to be involved with minor disputes and dislikes between neighbours.

If you can list exactly what you believe your neighbours have done in criminal offences or abuse towards you, it might be easier to understand what you are referring to.

Tiani4 · 01/09/2022 19:53

Police suggested that I tell my relatives and I have refused to do so.

The police have probably suggested this as they have a slight concern about why you are still ruminating what was a minor neighbour dispute and of no great consequence nor caused actual harm other than your perception of it.

I suspect the police officers were trying to be kind - to suggest you get some emotional support from your family- rather than suggesting any mafia stylie gathering of the clans!

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