Had my Limit on the Weird Neighbours

[User57327259]

I have had a couple of Threads on here about the issues I have with some neighbours. On both threads over 80% said I was not being unreasonable. They have really annoyed me with their carry on now. I am trying to think of a way of getting an end to this carry.
I have spoken to Police and Social Work. I am disabled and as such that is a Protected Characteristic. It is supposedly illegal to treat me badly. This is also a recorded diary of the conduct by official parties. The Management Company are also aware.
The last suggestion from the Police was that I should tell my relatives. At first I thought this was not an idea to be considered but as this constant harassment continues I am reconsidering that option. I will not be hanging around if that is the only viable option
I think that there is possibility that this is a mental health issue causing their conduct however that may be me being too kind to bad people. They might be just nasty all the way through. I am now thinking of contacting the local GP Surgeries to try to have them investigate. I am very worried and scared living with the uncertainty of what they are going to do next.
I feel that I am about to be unable to stay in my house safely and without fear. They are totally irrational.
Would writing to the GP be a good option ?

I tried to follow your original thread, but couldn't continue past the part with all the strange men creeping about in the dark not missing even a mouse. And the flattened cupboards which seemed to be out of sight to you but all too visible to several neighbours. Unless there's a significant back story to all this, the strange moans, doors opening and all the general carrying on sounds like normal life and neighbours learning to tolerate one another. I don't understand what it is that you hope to achieve? If you decide to involve the GP (yours or theirs) you risk appearing slightly obsessive or at best, unrealistic.

I think perhaps you need to see a gp

Aside from the OP leaving crap in a communal area and the to do from that, I'm not sure what the hell is going on.

Agree that it sounds like you need to visit your GP.

So when you go out they sometimes open their flat door and watch you leave?

And moan about you (to you?). What do they actually say?

Unless they are saying or doing something particularly egregious they don’t sound, from your description on this thread, as though they have any mental health difficulties. And they don’t sound like they deserve having a situation “develop” with your family. They just sound like annoying neighbours who you don’t really get on with and who don’t trust you. But unless there’s something you haven’t mentioned, why can you not just ignore them?

This is confusing. The situation 2 months ago was difficult, you should have told everyone in advance about timings so they knew you weren't just fly-tipping, they got too aggressive. Still, that's all done.

Something about them asking about car number plates to check it is only residents parking, again they didn't approach it well, if that's an issue then there should be a communal sheet kept; you need building management to come up with an acceptable process for everyone including you.

What else has happened or is happening? You're suggesting they are constantly running out the door to shout at you, but you haven't said anything else that they've done or said. The police suggesting that you talk to your family is because they thought you were over-reacting to a few minor incidents that are now over, not because they expect your family to escalate the dispute with the neighbours! How often are they speaking to you? About what? You need a log kept of date, time, person, what was said - that is what shows if it is harassment or if you're getting overwrought about older comments. If it's harassment then you need the police, and might get a Ring doorbell for proof if it's happening a lot in the corridor. Your local community support officer is the one who might warn them it's getting into harassment territory if there is genuinely a lot of ongoing contact, so they need to stop.

When I had the work done a few months ago I was not aware that I was expected to ask permission to spend my money on my property. If this is the case why was I never asked for permission when others have had work carried out? Working on the history of no-one asking me I did not think I had to ask anyone. This seems strange to me.
Once the work was started I did not think that being questioned by neighbour on the second day was anything other than curiosity.
When I was getting in my car a few days later I said a passing Hello to one neighbour I was then threatened about what was going to be done i.e block my door. Surely if I have missed some procedure I should be advised in a normal voice that the council here do things this way or whatever. There should have been no raised voices or threats. That was excessive on their part. I did not raise my voice at all.
Since then I have tried to just go in and out without any conversation or even acknowledgement of them. It is them who are putting themselves in front of me and raising voices.
I have just watched Good Morning Britain where Isla Traquair has described the conduct of her neighbour which has caused her to leave her dream house never to return. I have no idea why her neighbour persisted nor why my neighbours keep up their anger. My neighbours admitted that they watch me and that is why they know I am doing X. X is impossible for me to do, not because of any disability but because of building and fittings in the building. I dont know where these people get the energy to keep up watching neighbours. I have enough to do getting through my day with ordinary housework and trying to get out for walks or shopping.
There is a history of the neighbour carrying on like this towards people and there is history of people moving in and out of immediate properties. The Council Tax offices would have that history as well as Property Titles.
I am lucky in that I can get another house, this is only a little flat. It is nice but the neighbours are hard going.

The work is not the problem, it's just polite to let people know you're going to cause a disturbance for a few days. The problem is that you left waste on their property without permission. "Communal" means joint. You all own the communal areas equally. That means no one can store stuff on them without everyone's agreement. And I'm guessing your workmen were using the residential parking spaces, which has annoyed the other residents too.

This is common sense to most people, so your neighbours probably assumed you just didn't care and did what you wanted, regardless of the rules and everyone else's feelings.

This

There should have been no raised voices or threats.
Of course there should not, nobody is disputing that. People have just explained that normal courtesy would mean you telling them about the waste and expected collection times. That doesn't mean they had a right to behave badly, but helps explain motives for you.

It is them who are putting themselves in front of me and raising voices.
This is the bit we aren't getting detail clearly about and that would potentially change the police's view about involvement. How many occasions / how often? What is being said on each occasion? What is this mysterious X as that sounds like an unrelated item to the cupboard waste?

@ MRex
I will not be having any further work done to my property. This situation will not arise again. Others have had work done but not mentioned it or asked my permission. I have never lived in a building like this and some of the demands are crazy. To visit here people would have to state their car and its registration and which flat they are visiting. They do not observe the security of the building and allow random persons entry to the building. They do not stick to the rules of the area but expect others to stick the rules they make up. I can not decide whether these are normal or excessive. I am definitely put off communal living. I hate having to be in the common parts of the buildings. I have to pass their door. It is then that they get in front of me. I try to go out quickly and without making a sound. They have told me that they are watching me. Raising of voices and threats are never acceptable. It is definitely not acceptable for a large man to threaten any woman. The wife cannot see that.
The mysterious X is that they claim that I am slamming the door. The building entry door has a spring system which controls the speed of the door shutting and it shuts slowly. The entry doors to each flat have fire safety spring doors which shut the door. It is not possible for that door to stay open. I have a locking system which means that my door is only 2 - 3 inches ajar when I am ready to close and lock the door. Therefore I do not have space or time to slam my door. This is what caused me to be shrieked at on the stairway.
Today I had an invited caller who pressed my buzzer for a longish time. Somehow this attracted attention and the wife coming out their flat. This time nothing was said as the caller would have been a witness.
It is constant and very disturbing

I have a close family member who is a barrister and I remember a number of years ago he gave me sage advice which has always stuck with me. He said never, ever fall out with a neighbour because it invariably, as in 100% of the time, means that one party will ultimately have to move. Sounds like you made a rookie error and it sounds like these people are thoroughly unpleasant (and not the type of people you would want to be living in close proximity to anyway) so it its realistic, I would advise moving for the sake of your mental health.

When I had the work done a few months ago I was not aware that I was expected to ask permission to spend my money on my property. If this is the case why was I never asked for permission when others have had work carried out?

OP, nobody is saying you have to ask permission to spend your money on your property.

The more of your posts I read, the more I think that your own mental health is at the root of your problems. You don’t seem to understand a lot of what people say to you, or be able to grasp fairly basic concepts such as the role of a GP and what disability discrimination means. You are passive-aggressive and extremely self-pitying and overreacting hugely to a neighbour being a dick over you leaving rubbish in the communal spaces to be collected by the council. In your previous posts you claimed they were ‘creeping around in the dark’ without actually being able to say what you meant by this or why you think your neighbours are doing something wrong by leaving the house at night. You seem to think you are being persecuted when nothing that has happened amounts to anything more than one neighbour being a twat. You keep saying you are scared to go out in case you see your neighbour, without any evidence that your neighbour will do anything.

You mention you have a disability following an accident. Is your disability purely physical, or are there some cognitive issues too? Because everything about your posts suggests you need some support in navigating daily life and interactions.

Honestly OP all of this hits the nail on the head. You’re simply not getting that it’s not about the work you had done, it’s about dumping stuff on communal spaces - no one magically knows when you’re going to clear it and it’s just not the done thing. Nothing you’ve said about the neighbours apart from complaining about this and a slamming door is making them seem weird or awful but you are coming across as a difficult neighbour making everyone else out as some sort of dreadful villain.

No one is discriminating against you or breaking the law because you are disabled. No one’s GP is going to somehow get involved.

I did say that when the job was completed the Council would be phoned for an uplift. When the job was over the Council were phoned and when approached I said the Council have been phoned. It was also said that I do not control when the council will come. They were told that I did have plans to have the area cleared. They just did not seem to be able to accept that and two months later they are still moaning and complaining. The area was cleared ages ago.

Okay they’re moaning. Just ignore it. Ignore them. Do you not see that you wanting to speak to a GP to see if they can be diagnosed with something and this bothering you so much over something that annoyed them and would annoy most people is a bit OTT?

I completely agree with these 2 PP. I fear for your own mental health or cognitive functioning. Go and live your life and stop obsessing over these people.

have never lived in a building like this and some of the demands are crazy. To visit here people would have to state their car and its registration and which flat they are visiting. They do not observe the security of the building and allow random persons entry to the building. They do not stick to the rules of the area but expect others to stick the rules they make up. I can not decide whether these are normal or excessive. I am definitely put off communal living. I hate having to be in the common parts of the buildings. I have to pass their door. It is then that they get in front of me. I try to go out quickly and without making a sound. They have told me that they are watching me. Raising of voices and threats are never acceptable. It is definitely not acceptable for a large man to threaten any woman. The wife cannot see that.
The mysterious X is that they claim that I am slamming the door.

I think it's fair to ask: are you slamming the door? Is your visitor being noisy with prolonged use of the buzzer? Why else would the wife come out in response to hearing said buzzer? How do you know that random persons are allowed entry to the building? Unless you have a log identifying which visitors visit which flat? If you are doing this, then you've lost the plot and need to seek help. It's not up to you to decide which visitors are licit and which are random. Using the moniker random suggests that you are unable to navigate the world of social relationships and are, in fact, struggling to understand the world unless through your own narrowly prescriptive view.🤔

OP, what has the neighbour said to you to threaten you that his wife can’t see? What actually happens when you walk past their door or are you just worried you’ll bump into them? When did they say they were watching you and how, in context? They were watching your renovations to see if anything else was dumped or…? This thread is coming across that actually maybe you need more help with navigating life than you realise at the moment. Maybe they are being shit and horrible but it’s all coming across as them being a bit annoyed with you and you becoming very paranoid and angry.

Perhaps the police have suggested that you approach your relatives for help just to give you some support, rather than expecting your relatives to threaten these people back. Perhaps if the Weirds see you are not some poor isolated little woman, but someone with family support around you, they will stop behaving like this and leave you alone.

Did you buy this flat or is it rented? Would you be in a position to move out if things don't change soon?

Sorry, but you still didn't say how many times they have actually spoken to you?

I will try to answer in turn

I make every attempt to ignore them. I do not even look at them in the passing. I gave up the GP thought on the first page.

I am not obsessing over those people. They are obsessed with running and micromanaging the area. They were reported to have been doing this before I came and they will probably do it forever. I have plans for my future and it does not include living in a small flat with interfering neigh

I already tried to explain the locking system on my door. I close the door with 2 -3 inches space. That is not enough to get up momentum to slam doors. I am not in the habit of slamming doors. I try to get out the building without being noticed so slamming a door would not help with a quiet exit or entry. I do not control the amount of time a visitor puts their finger on the buzzer. I had a person at my door who I had not let in the building come to my flat door This person was banging on my door and eventually put a card through my door. I believe this caller was at the wrong block as it was not my birthday, the name was not mine and the card was signed from people I do not know. The point being that a person got in the building despite security entry. I am so glad that you said keeping a log of who comes and goes in a sign of having lost the plot. I do not do this. It is the Weirds who insist on that. I see the notices of what car is visiting what flat on post it notes at the entrance. I have seen random used on here before so I thought I would use it too. I do not have a problem with people visiting me or any flat. I do not need their registration numbers. That is not me. It was happening before I came here.

The male neighbour said he would pile up the wood at my door which would trap me in or out of my house. I thought that statement weird. Why go to that effort and bother? Locking a person in or out of their house is not desirable and I found it threatening as this seemed so controlling. The wife can not see that women should not be threatened like that. She think her OH is entitled to speak to a woman like that. I am not actually becoming paranoid, but I am angry that someone should be so interfering. Most people have enough to do running their own lives without trying to run other peoples' lives.

I run my social life away from this building because I would be ashamed of having such weird neighbours. I moved from the area that friends and relatives live in to try out this new area. Such has been my experiences in the new area. I would not want friends or family to see this. Most people I know are more outspoken than me. They may think I am a poor isolated woman, I do have a life. If their thought is that I am a poor isolated woman all the more reason that their actions are wrong. The flat is bought and I am very likely to sell or rent if they try to interfere in viewings. I have the necessary to move. I do not see this as a sustainable way of life.

I do not know exactly how many times they have spoken to me. I know that when I first came they were friendly, maybe too friendly to get knowledge of my life, and now they are very difficult.

Right.

You're unhappy with the situation. For whatever reason. It sounds like something that is both real but also escalated in your mind.

You say you have means to move. Unless these people are actively harassing, bullying, threatening in a way you can PROVE then all you are going to do is end up ranting about them on here. If it is that bad then police should be involved. If it's more that you find them unbearably irritating well now's the time to suck it up and either find a way to get on with them or move.

If you are struggling with your mental health then you need to seek help from the appropriate sources. GP, Social Services, Minds etc.

I think you've exhausted all that anyone on here could do for you. The advice is seek professional help with the problem or sadly, move.

You're going to have to give a lot more context and explanation. Your OP doesn't make much sense.

What are you thinking a GP could do? It's not up to them to investigate neighbour disputes! Are you thinking they'd disclose to you that the neighbour you are fighting with has mental health problems? They would never give you that information! They wouldn't even tell you that Person XYZ was even registered with them!

With no context, based on what you've said, I'd say that following the police advice of getting more support from your family would be the best way to go.

@zingally She has given loads more info - I wouldn't ask for any more! It doesn't become any more clear what is actually going on.

I've still got no idea what's going on.