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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would a gay guy watch straight porn

78 replies

Theanswerisblowinginthewinds · 28/08/2022 22:01

Been seeing a guy for just under a year, sex live ok but not very often. There are quite a few things I’m unsure about with him and have niggling thoughts to him maybe being gay.
I saw his history on his phone, I admit, I looked, please don’t beat me up about it, I wanted to know.
Amongst the normal websites was some porn and it’s always basically boobs and bjs. Does this mean he’s definitely straight? I probably sound stupid but I get such a vibe from him and others have said similar, but surely if he gets off on women, he’s not gay?

OP posts:
Motherofalegend · 28/08/2022 22:37

I think the real issue is you’ve been with him for nearly a year. If you’re having doubts of any kind at nearly a year, it may be worth considering if this relationship is for you. That’s a long time!

brightnesses · 28/08/2022 22:37

Theanswerisblowinginthewinds · 28/08/2022 22:34

@brightnesses But surely you wouldn’t always seek out that sort of porn to get off on if you were in fact gay? Surely you’d go for the gay porn?

You’re trying to tell yourself it isn’t possible to convince yourself that he isn’t gay when in fact, it’s entirely possible.

Gay men sleep with gay men. Maybe some like to watch something different and watch straight porn to see a man having sex with a woman. Or to get aroused by a woman’s body. I can’t tell you as I’m not a gay men but from speaking to my friends, it is possible

Trying20 · 28/08/2022 22:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn by the OP

Keyansier · 28/08/2022 22:49

This is not uncommon. There is even heterosexual gay porn so there must be a market for it.

FakingMemories · 28/08/2022 22:50

Is this your first sexual relationship? Because you don’t seem to have much experience of other people and their likes and dislikes. And that we are all different. People are aroused in all sorts of different ways. People are curious about all sorts of things that they may never experience in real life. Many people are aroused by porn that’s in conflict with what they enjoy in real life. Because it’s just a fantasy. You can’t assume that fat man will only watch gay porn and wouldn’t ever, ever, look at a woman.

FakingMemories · 28/08/2022 22:51

Gay men, not fat man!

SunnyD44 · 28/08/2022 22:51

Straight guys watch gay porn and vice versa although it’s rare.

I know many straight women who watch lesbian porn as the ones with men in are often not satisfying at all as they’re more aimed towards men.

However if he is gay he could be trying to force himself to like females or seeing if he is turned on by it.

Many people who are confused about their sexuality will watch porn to see if they get turned on by certain things.

I don’t think this tells you anything tbh.

Surely if he’s with you then there’s a good chance he’s straight or bi.

SunnyD44 · 28/08/2022 22:53

You can’t assume that fat man will only watch gay porn and wouldn’t ever, ever, look at a woman.

Great typo! 😂😂

Annieisalright · 28/08/2022 22:56

Most porn is boobs and BJs

That's normal porn

So it doesn't give an indication either way

I'm straight but enjoy watching porn with women in it

Ilovelurchers · 28/08/2022 22:58

I'm utterly confused here. If you are in a sexual relationship with him, surely the main body of evidence you have available to draw conclusions about his sexuality is not the porn you found on his phone?

Theanswerisblowinginthewinds · 28/08/2022 22:59

@TiredzzZZ What made you think he was gay? Did you ever tell him that?

OP posts:
Annieisalright · 28/08/2022 22:59

Ilovelurchers · 28/08/2022 22:58

I'm utterly confused here. If you are in a sexual relationship with him, surely the main body of evidence you have available to draw conclusions about his sexuality is not the porn you found on his phone?

Wondering if that's the vibe the OP is talking about

Theanswerisblowinginthewinds · 28/08/2022 22:59

@FakingMemories Fat men 🤣🤣

OP posts:
Theanswerisblowinginthewinds · 28/08/2022 23:01

@Annieisalright Yes, but would a gay guy keep watching huge boobs, tit wanks, women giving bjs etc each time 🤷🏻‍♀️

Maybe I am just trying to convince myself he’s not. I thought that would mean he wasn’t though

OP posts:
Facecream · 28/08/2022 23:03

Are you not saying what the “vibe” is because it’s something silly - like voice or hair or I don’t know something “camp”?
Or is it sexual - like he says stuff when having sex?

Annieisalright · 28/08/2022 23:03

Theanswerisblowinginthewinds · 28/08/2022 23:01

@Annieisalright Yes, but would a gay guy keep watching huge boobs, tit wanks, women giving bjs etc each time 🤷🏻‍♀️

Maybe I am just trying to convince myself he’s not. I thought that would mean he wasn’t though

No one can tell you

Sexuality and what turns someone on is very personal

I love old man porn, doesn't mean I'm attracted to old men irl

It's just a 'theme' I'm into

He could be into boobs but is still overall sexually attracted to men

No one here can tell you, you need to either speak to him about it or leave and move on

Openrelationship · 28/08/2022 23:05

I think the type of porn he watches gives more indication of his sexuality than say his passion for fashion, if that’s where you’re going with this.

Theanswerisblowinginthewinds · 28/08/2022 23:11

@Facecream Not sexual stuff really-very into boobs, less so down below, but not in an unusual way. More mannerisms, way of standing etc

OP posts:
Trying20 · 28/08/2022 23:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn by the OP

Facecream · 28/08/2022 23:32

On the face of it OP there’s nothing to suggest he’s gay but he’s a bit boob obsessed.
You could ask him..

user1473878824 · 28/08/2022 23:35

His way of standing omfg op

TwilightDreams · 28/08/2022 23:57

Theanswerisblowinginthewinds · 28/08/2022 23:11

@Facecream Not sexual stuff really-very into boobs, less so down below, but not in an unusual way. More mannerisms, way of standing etc

He could be naturally flamboyant and 100% heterosexual or bisexual and really into breasts.

The only way to know is to have an honest, nonjudgmental conversation with him. If you can't talk openly your relationship probably isn't going to last.

CheesyColeslaw · 29/08/2022 00:12

Mannerisms and way of standing have nothing to do with sexuality. You're in a heterosexual relationship and are questioning whether he's secretly gay because of the way he stands?

MorganKitten · 29/08/2022 00:14

Theanswerisblowinginthewinds · 28/08/2022 22:05

@MorganKitten But would a gay guy get turned on by large breasts etc, surely not

Actually yes they can be. I know gay men who like boobs and have had sex with women they find attractive. No they weren’t bi (I know plenty of those too) they were just horny and the girl was who they went with.

CheesyColeslaw · 29/08/2022 00:15

Do him a favour and leave him op. You've gone through his phone to see what kind of porn he watches so you can judge if he's gay or not. Massive invasion of privacy.