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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would a gay guy watch straight porn

78 replies

Theanswerisblowinginthewinds · 28/08/2022 22:01

Been seeing a guy for just under a year, sex live ok but not very often. There are quite a few things I’m unsure about with him and have niggling thoughts to him maybe being gay.
I saw his history on his phone, I admit, I looked, please don’t beat me up about it, I wanted to know.
Amongst the normal websites was some porn and it’s always basically boobs and bjs. Does this mean he’s definitely straight? I probably sound stupid but I get such a vibe from him and others have said similar, but surely if he gets off on women, he’s not gay?

OP posts:
MorganKitten · 29/08/2022 00:15

Theanswerisblowinginthewinds · 28/08/2022 23:11

@Facecream Not sexual stuff really-very into boobs, less so down below, but not in an unusual way. More mannerisms, way of standing etc

Way of standing… is this a serious comment?
lots of straight guys can be ‘camp’ lots of gay guys you’d think were straight… there’s no set way a gay man stands.

Jalepenojello · 29/08/2022 00:25

Anyone of any orientation can watch and will watch any kind of porn

Boxowine · 29/08/2022 00:31

Maybe you can trade with the other poster whose boyfriend doesn't want to go to Brighton.

SequinsandStilettos · 29/08/2022 00:53

Hal Crittenden said in his stand up, he always gets the "Are you gay?" schtick, when he's het. David Walliams has made a career out of it. In the movie The kids are all right, Jules and Nic (lesbian couple) get off on gay porn. He is what he is, he likes what he likes but if he gets off on boobs only, you need to say what you want.

donquixotedelamancha · 29/08/2022 01:09

He's shagging you and watches straight porn, especially boobs. The simplest explanation is usually the best.

Hate to break it to you but I'm afraid he's straight.

donquixotedelamancha · 29/08/2022 01:10

Do him a favour and leave him op. You've gone through his phone to see what kind of porn he watches so you can judge if he's gay or not. Massive invasion of privacy.

Yeah, this.

SavoirFlair · 29/08/2022 01:38

Theanswerisblowinginthewinds · 28/08/2022 23:11

@Facecream Not sexual stuff really-very into boobs, less so down below, but not in an unusual way. More mannerisms, way of standing etc

Look @Theanswerisblowinginthewinds I posted this on the “can a sexless relationship ever work” thread but it seems you might benefit from hearing it too.

Gay men are not all sitting in heterosexual relationships waiting to burst out and be free! If you have a problem or suspicion about how your partner is, that doesn’t automatically mean he is GAY.

You have been deliberately cagey about your “suspicions” but are now alluding to the way he stands etc.

let me tell you this. If I was to look at everything through that end of the telescope, then I would assume that the entire male cast of TOWIE is gay. Some people are much more flamboyant, expressive and different in their patterns of speech than the male grunts of years ago. It’s ok.

but the bigger question / problem for me is, you’re searching through his phone.

why?

What answers did you hope to find in there that you can’t find in searching yourself or talking to him?

Lets be real for a second. Whatever it is that isn’t working for you, it probably isn’t him being “gay”. It’s more how you two connect,, how you inspire and stimulate each other, etc.

it might be that he doesn’t fancy you the way you’d hoped. That doesn’t make him gay though. Not liking one woman, you, doesn’t mean he then automatically eschews all women, as fabulous as I’m sure you are.

maddening · 29/08/2022 01:53

He could be bisexual - but that would not negate your relationship

LBFseBrom · 29/08/2022 02:05

chillipenguin · 28/08/2022 22:03

There are quite a few things I’m unsure about with him like what? I mean if there's quite a few is it worth carrying on the relationship?

I too wondered the same.

OP I have no idea if gay men watch straight porn but I wouldn't want to be with a man who watched porn anyway. You feel unsure about this man in many ways, why continue the relationship when there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Ilovelurchers · 29/08/2022 21:01

Just came back on to this thread and saw the explanation about the way he stands.

How the Hell do gay men stand? I am even more confused now....

So this guy likes porn featuring women. Likes actual sex with actual women. no evidence whatsoever of him liking sex with men. But he is gay because he stands in a gay way?

Facecream · 30/08/2022 00:21

@MorganKitten
No!! It wasn’t a comment at all - a question to the Op because I literally don’t understand how one can wonder if someone is gay and it not be based on sexual issues/in the sex arena- rather than imagined/demonstrative behaviours of a cliche type..
I really hope I’m not the origin of the notion that gay people stand in a certain way (I don’t even know what that would be.. hence the question)

MorganKitten · 30/08/2022 00:31

Facecream · 30/08/2022 00:21

@MorganKitten
No!! It wasn’t a comment at all - a question to the Op because I literally don’t understand how one can wonder if someone is gay and it not be based on sexual issues/in the sex arena- rather than imagined/demonstrative behaviours of a cliche type..
I really hope I’m not the origin of the notion that gay people stand in a certain way (I don’t even know what that would be.. hence the question)

The OP said it themselves, that’s what I was responding to

Witchcraftandhokum · 30/08/2022 03:48

Hope he's on some forum asking if he should dump his girlfriend for going through his phone.

shivawn · 30/08/2022 04:33

Yeah a gay person could definitely be turned on by straight porn in the same way that straight people can be really into gay porn.

pli · 30/08/2022 05:01

shivawn · 30/08/2022 04:33

Yeah a gay person could definitely be turned on by straight porn in the same way that straight people can be really into gay porn.

Yep! But neither sex would cope with a partner looking through phone to
Spy on partner

Nobetterthansheoughttobe · 30/08/2022 07:01

Ask the poor bastard rather than asking a bunch of random strangers their opinion based on you violating his privacy to determine his porn preferences.
There is something wrong with your emotional and moral compass
He needs to be with someone else

balalake · 30/08/2022 07:17

Do you want to be with a man who watches porn on his phone? Never mind his sexual orientation.

Trying20 · 30/08/2022 09:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn by the OP

Rewis · 30/08/2022 09:58

Break up with him if you want to. No need to fund a reason. Could be gay or could not.

But to answer to your question. I don't think you can draw too many conclusions on sexuality based on porn preferences. I mean yeah if it's something disturbing or illegal. But not straight forwards "straight people watch straight porn" "gay people watch gay porn" and no cross over. There is so many things that go with porn preferences.

ShirleyJackson · 30/08/2022 10:04

The way he stands makes you think he’s gay?

Does he stand with his boyfriend’s cock in his hand?

fairycakes1234 · 30/08/2022 10:34

This reply has been deleted

This post has been withdrawn by the OP

@Trying20
would you give over, she told us she doesn't want to get into it, leave her alone, if you cant give advice toddle off somewhere else with your insults

Trying20 · 30/08/2022 10:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn by the OP

Bloodoranged · 01/09/2022 11:35

You went through his phone because you think he might be gay because of the way he stands?

JFC poor guy.

Tibtab · 01/09/2022 11:37

Theanswerisblowinginthewinds · 28/08/2022 23:11

@Facecream Not sexual stuff really-very into boobs, less so down below, but not in an unusual way. More mannerisms, way of standing etc

Fuck me, I can’t believe people have to explain that you can’t stand in a gay way.

Hvergelmir · 05/09/2022 13:31

Dump him. He's far better off without you.