DH has no time for our dog

[PokeInTheBum]

A few years ago DH said he wanted a dog, a German shepherd. I said no as I didn’t want the hair or a large animal to have to look after. He kept on about wanting a dog and assured me that he’d be 100% responsible for it. I said if he was that desperate for a dog he could get a little one like a French bulldog. He reluctantly agreed and we got a frenchie puppy. At first he adored him and was with him all the time. He took him to a basic obedience 6 week course and would come home frustrated saying the dog wouldn’t do anything and he was a laughing stock at the class. He was working on stuff with him inbetween classes (daily) but would always come back furious from the class saying it was pointless. I started going with him for support but to be fair it was embarrassing, ours was the only dog that wasn’t progressing and we couldn’t get him to do anything other than “sit” and even that was only 50/50. Didn’t help that the instructor made jokes about it and drew everyone’s attention to it. At the end of the course everyone was presented with their certificates whilst we were “gently told” to book onto a repeat course.

DH decided against it and whilst he continued walking the dog etc it was obvious that he was losing interest. We couldn’t get him house trained, he was incredibly destructive and wrecked everything in sight. We had a behaviourist in as well as a trainer but neither have been any help.

Then 3 years ago DH told me he needed a proper dog and was buying a German shepherd puppy. I agreed because I saw how much it was getting him down not having this dog. He was going to all sorts of shows, displays and meet ups etc for 2 years prior.

we got the German shepherd. DH finally has the dog he wanted. It excelled at the basic obedience class and then went on to pass the advanced obedience class and all the kennel club awards. DH’s office is full of certificates and rosettes from him activities with the dog and to be fair he does 100% of the work with her.

Trouble is his tolerance for the frenchie is now rock bottom, he gets annoyed just hearing him wander around the house. He refuses to clean up its piss and shit saying he’s not “doing it anymore” with a 6 year old dog. To be honest I think he actively dislikes the dog.

I have taken on responsibility of the frenchie but the way DH makes it so obvious he doesn’t want him around upsets me. He’ll literally make the frenchie move off the sofa so the German shepherd can sit there.

We ended up arguing about it last night and he said it’s my fault as I pressured him to get a dog he didn’t want and if I’d just agreed to the shepherd in the first place none of this would have happened.

So, is it all my fault??

3 trainers if you include the obedience class we started off with.

You have a husband problem. The Frenchy sounds like a far better creature than him. An animal is not there to boost his ego. Awful behaviour by this human, I'd be ashamed if I was such a cruel egotistical person

Yes, I bet the Frenchie can feel the lack of love. Rehoming where the dog feels safe and loved might be the best thing here. Poor thing.

I bet the Frenchie can feel the lack of love

Based on what?

Frenchies should be banned entirely

Plus all the other genetic mutant inbred breeds

To be brutally honest, I'm not surprised your DH is fed up and pissed off. He didn't want a French Bulldog. He, sensibly, wanted a breed that's easy to train, biddable and good at things like obedience and training. You decided you didn't want a big dog (which is fine) but it also appears that you did absolutely no research before deciding to get a French Bulldog. It reads to me like you picked it because it's small and fashionable. There are plenty of small breeds you could have chosen that could have appealed to both of you in terms of size, shedding and trainability.

Frenchies are notoriously difficult to train - both in terms of toileting and basic commands and obedience. They're also riddled with health issues and breathing difficulties and are not particularly intelligent. Basic research would have told you that Frenchies are difficult and not a breed for beginners.

IMO It's not your DH's job to include the Frenchie and train it alongside the German Shepherd. He's your dog - you picked him - so you need to deal with it.

Neither of you like the stressed unhappy frenchie, its an un trained destructive dog that toilets indoors, do you take it out for walks or the garden for toilet. After 6 years it wont get any better and it now has to live with another dog. I would rehome the poor little thing.

When DH comes into a room he literally moves the dog off the couch so his better special dog can lie on the couch. When the dog chokes on a treat he storms away swearing. Do you think that implies love?

I fully agree with this. I think after 6 years of constant piss and shit in the house I’d be at the end of my tether too.

You need to rehome this poor dog, and through a proper rescue centre who will train him and match him well. If you just rehome him yourself privately I’d bet he’d end up going through multiple homes as people love frenchies and will believe they’ll be able to train him better than you and then when the find they can’t will get rid of him, poor thing. I agree he sounds very stressed and I don’t think it’s fair on your husband either having to live with this dog he never wanted and which is destroying your house. I LOVE frenchies, loads of people do, a proper rescue centre will work with him long-term to retrain him and hopefully eventually find a home for him that will love him, not just tolerate him, either once he’s retrained or who will
accept his limitations. I think the vet was v unprofessional with ‘that’s frenchies for you’; my mum was a dog sitter and looked after hundreds of frenchies over the years, none not house trained. They’re not the brightest but usually v food oriented so pretty easily trained, that’s not a breed thing. Does sound like bad breeding in his line though, which is unsurprising with fashionable, in trend dogs where lots of people are just out to make a quick buck.

Your DH sounds like a teenager.

Find a French bulldog or bulldog rescue charity, there are loads, and give the dog to them who will send to a foster home who knows how to deal with this breed.

If you have kids I hope he doesn’t treat them differently if one’s easily trainable and other isn’t.

No it’s not your fault, he agreed.

Thought I’d add a pic

This is both your faults to be honest. You got a dog neither of you wanted and now he's been replaced with a dog one of you really does want and that you've also agreed to.

I'm not arguing that he loves the Frenchie, Im arguing that I doubt the Frenchie knows or cares. Do you think it's sat there thinking "it's so unfair that I have to move to make room for the gsd just because its trainable, he clearly doesn't love me"?

Attributing human cognitive processes to dogs is always a mistake. Doubly so in this case.

Same here

we’ve got a 10 year old chi and a 10 year old cocker spaniel. The chi still occasion toilets in the house. We did read about it before we took him on though and knew they were known for it.

smelly mucky old bugger he is 😂😂

Also, people going on about Frenchie’s health issues, but GS are notorious for back issues due to piss poor breeding. Will the DH still give a shit if the GS’s back, hips or back legs give way? Or will it be replaced with another shiny new toy?

I dont like dogs. I couldnt live in a house with a dog. And nobody should be expected to live with a dog yhat isnt house trained. I suppose you will just have to do your best for this dog. Or coonsider re-homing. Though not sure if its possible re the dog not being house trained.

That breeder needs never to breed again.
Did you see him with his mother and siblings, or was he from some horrendous puppy “Farm” sold through a third party dealer?

This isn’t the normal behaviour of any dog -even a Toy breec.
No dog reared well as a puppy wants to sleep in it’s own faecal matter and urine.
He probably was badly reared as well as inbred.
Poor thing.

The choking on the treat is probably as his massive tongue and soft palate are too big for his skull.

It sounds like he did his research and I suspect he picked a dog from a good breeder who health tests. Not all German Shepherds have health issues but the vast majority of Frenchies have breathing issues and many require surgery.

The health issues aren't comparable IMO. Frenchies can't even give birth naturally they're so deformed.

I feel sorry for the Frenchie. I also feel sorry for your husband because I think you coerced him into getting a compromise dog that wasn't. You probably thought "well if he wants a dog let's get one that I think is cute and small and won't be any bother". There are lots of small trainable companion breeds out there but they are not currently fashionable and I think you went with a fashionable breed, perhaps without realising what you were doing.

You chose and recommended the Frenchie to him, as your compromise bid, but you hadn't researched it. Or you had and thought "it'll be fine". You may or may not have a husband problem because I can't tell how one-sided your description of the situation is, or how persuasive you had to be for him to acquiesce. It sounds like he's tried to get the Frenchie trained for quite some time before giving up, and he is quite right about the dining room floor. You didn't say if you've been to obedience classes with the Frenchie or how many times, or how much work you did with and between behaviourist visits. I'm guessing not that much because you think this Frenchie is your husband's responsibility and problem. You have both been somewhat unreasonable but I think the fault lies more heavily with you.

Re-home the Frenchie.

I'm afraid I agree with this ^^. It's the kindest thing to do for all of the animals and humans involved in your household. That dog, which is always going to have serious problems now, might still do much better in a completely different environment with someone who understands and likes Frenchies and has the time to devote and has the right property to take care of the mess in the meantime.

The breeder has done a runner.

Because he/she wasn't a proper breeder. Quelle suprise 🙄

Eurgh there's nothing worse than an incontinent dog, no wonder your

Why are Frenchies so popular if they're so hard to train?