To think ‘fag hag’ is an appalling thing to call someone?

[TimeAtTheBar]

I went out to the pub last night with my husband and our friend who happens to be a gay man. We bumped into another mutual friend (also a gay man, but younger) and then another married couple I know socially. One of the couple (the one I don’t know as well) called me a fag hag. Quite nastily in my opinion, not in an affectionate way.

I know he meant because I was the only woman out with a bunch of gay men (and my husband!) but that’s just the way the evening fell, and I think it’s a wildly offensive thing to say. This is a man in his early 20s, so it’s not a throwback to when it might have been ‘acceptable’.

I’ve been ruminating on it all day, as you do. He was fucking rude, right? Not the most pressing issue ever but I’m bored and home alone so I thought I’d throw it to the vipers.

*Anewdayanewdawn · 27/08/2022 19:45

Not everyone likes a straight hanger on. You must know that?
I wouldn’t have said it to your face but probably would be thinking it…*

Please explain what a straight hanger on is. Also when someone wants to call them a fag hag but won't say it to their face.

Hence, I said my friendship group doesn't think like that and this attitude would not belong in my group (ie I found his attitude to women vile) You then went for me.

This poster did not need you to defend them. We disagreed. He wasn't being bullied. We have mnhq for that! It was just me disagreeing with his attitude as a straight person having a gay friend who hangs out with me or I hang out with him!

I'm sure you think you are justified still!

It's a horrible phrase. And one that was used when I went clubbing 30 years ago - I'm surprised it's still used tbh.

You've completely lowered yourself to my standard. Difference is I'm good with my reaction. If anything your recent post cemented it.

If I was you though I'd feel bad about myself to😪

Yeah but you kind of did. You hold no moral high ground.

You are actually very similar to @Anewdayanewdawn 🤔It's very rare for someone to defend someone so much and they are not around to appreciate it!! 😉

This. OK, it isn't the nicest of terms, but I suspect it was meant light-heartedly. I would just move on and not give it another thought.

Of course you don't! I can see it in your posts. But I won't mention it again.

Still think you and @Anewdayanewdawn are VERY similar in your posting. I'll leave it now because I think you may "both"end up ganging up on me 🤣 Plus (neither) of you will see the irony in it.

I can genuinely say, as somebody who is very sociable, that I wouldn’t even give the make up of a group a passing thought. Whether it was fifteen women and one bloke or vice versa.

It’s weird to me that people think like that. But then I’ve never been one for ‘girls night out’ or whatever. The rank misogyny on this thread is interesting though. Perhaps I’m judged more than I think. Oh well.

Op perhaps it was the use of the word ‘appalling’ that got such strong reactions. Being referred to as fag hag is hardly ‘appalling’…

@Sometimeswinning I'm a bit late now but you don't need to justify yourself. You were not vile and it's not bullying behaviour to call out misogyny when you see it.

The poster you you initially responded to was vile (because misogyny is vile) and continued to be offensive well after the misogyny was pointed out. Even referring to women simply as "hags" (leaving out the "fag" part entirely) in a later post. He knew very well by that point what he was doing.

Anyway like I said, bit late now but I thought I'd lend you my support.

@OvaryActions it's never too late! Mysoginists defending themselves and others are vile. I actually hadn't thought too much about the term fag hag until this post. The men I hung about with used it affectionately. I'll be telling them now not to use it!

@Trying20 and @Anewdayanewdawn are hopefully in a minority!

‘Please explain what a straight hanger on is.’

the annoying straight girl who insisted on coming out with her ‘bestie’ gay boy friend when it’s an all gay group going to a gay bar/s for the night….