to be annoyed by “he is too big for a pram” comments

[PlumPudd]

In the last couple of weeks we’ve had two unsolicited comments from random passers by about our son being too big for a pram / that he should be walking on his own.

The first one was from a woman manning a posh vintage jewellery stall in a very busy narrow street in Islington at the weekend (Camden Passage for those who know it) who leaned out from behind her stall and said pointedly, while looking at the couple in front of us and their older toddler; “It’s so refreshing to see a child actually walking for once” then looking back at us “he’ll never learn to walk properly if you keep him in there.”

The second was just a woman outside a park on a fairly busy road, who again looked me straight in the eye and said. “He is too old for a pram.”

Am I being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed / surprised by this?!? Has anyone else had these kinds of random comments about kids being in prams.

Our son is 16 months, though quite tall so he could be perceived as older and yes, he’s a very good walker but he is only just learning to hold one of our hands and is still pretty prone to just wondering off, or suddenly bolting away after random dogs or towards interesting looking trees etc. so we’re definitely not going to let him walk in places like a busy road, or a super crowded narrow street where he could be lost or under a car in seconds. In the park, or at the playground yes.

Is this normal?!? Or are these random nosey parkers right and we’re somehow stunting him

O thought you were going to say he was 3.5 or something.Of course he's fine for now

I have an older child who uses a pushchair due to autism and we get loads of rude comments 😞 it used to upset me a lot things like ‘they are too old for a buggy’ or ‘they look fine why are you babying them’ or that it was ‘lazy parenting’

I think that’s really unusual for only 16 months? How big is he 😕 No I never had comments like that and my daughter was in her pram until 4

Our pushchair got used up until the age of 6 for various reasons.
It's not anyone's business why.
Just ignore these people.
Plus 16 months is perfectly normal to be in a pram. My daughter didn't even walk until 17 months.

My oldest two children learned to walk at 17 and 18 months, I wonder what the random nosey parkers would have said to them - they could have explained to them that they should learn to walk quicker perhaps?

Neither actually ever used a pram so I definitely wasn’t stunting them. In the same way you aren’t stunting him.

ignore the random, do what you like

My daughter didn’t even start walking until 15 months!

So - no!

Pretty sure I used to still let my son use a buggy at 3 if I knew we were going to have a long day walking. He’s 21 now and believe it or not, learned to get about just fine! People are just being rude.

Reread my comment and I mean it’s unusual to be having so many comments for a child of 16 months, I’ve had 4 and all mine was in the pram until later than that and I never had any comments. It’s more unusable for a 16m old to be walking everywhere surely? Mine still napped at that age

Ignore!
Do what's right for your family.

You’ll always get ignorant comments (often from people whose own children are ferried around in cars as though that’s somehow superior) and you just have to ignore them. I have an autistic child who uses ear defenders, carries “babyish” toys around, engages in some unusual behaviour etc and I’ve got very good at just not caring what other people think about my child. Anyone who dares say anything, especially in his hearing, is told firmly that it’s none of their business. Be confident in your own parenting.

At 16 months it’s completely normal for a child to be in a pushchair in the circumstances you describe. Some children at 16 months aren’t even walking. Mine both used one regularly until 3 and occasionally until they started school.

Well , these people should mind their own business. But just curious, is it a pushchair/stroller or a traditional Silvercross type pram where the child is lying down?

CF's!!

Don't waste any of your mental energy on ignorant morons. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

Neither of mine were walking by 16 months!

I think it's a bit like potty training and sleeping through in that many people seem to "remember" their own children doing these things at often absurdly young ages.

@WestendVBroadway its a normal upright pushchair. A Bugaboo Bee to be exact (the only one that would fit in our tiny downstairs entranceway).

Good grief, I thought you were going to say he was 4 or something. Not that that's any of their business. He's obviously not to big for the pram if he fits in the pram! The 'he'll never learn to walk' remark is just plain stupidity. What baby learns to walk in a busy market street rather than their own house or garden? I think you should be more than a bit annoyed and give them a piece of your mind!

Why do people feel they can make judgemental comments to strangers!? I would never dream of it! So rude!!

I would use the "thanks random man/woman" approach

My son didn't start to walk until he was 16 months.
Just ignore them

If it was an actual pram then I might privately think it was a bit unusual to see a toddler in one, but I would never comment. It's none of my business.

If it was a pushchair, then that's not unusual at all. I suppose they might have assumed he was older because he's tall, but they have no idea how far you have walked, how much you have to carry, what his state of health is like, etc. In actual fact he's not even 1½, and I'd say it would be very unusual not to use a pushchair at least some of the time for a child that age, unless you go literally everywhere by car.

Yes, they were being rude. I don't think it's worth getting upset about it, because you are in the right. No doubt if he was walking and getting into everything, that would be wrong too!

My ds didn't walk until he was 17 months old although he was "cruising" at a year.

He's now a fit and healthy 21 year old so it obviously didn't harm him

Ignore the pass-remarkable busy bodies!

@FlyingSaucerss He’s quite tall, I’d say probably about the height of a smallish two year old - half Danish so there is definitely some Viking in him. But even if they did think he was two or even two and a half and able to walk most of the time, kids that age still sometimes need rests in the pram….

I’m (charitably) chalking it up people having vague memories of their own children and forgetting what was normal at what age. That or (uncharitably) people just being bossy know-it-alls.

That's so weird.

I would snap back and tell them he's only 16 months old!

People are so rude.
None of their business if you had a 7 year old in a pram!

That is absurd and also, none of their business!

DS has just turned 4 and we still use the buggy if it's a long day out. It's so handy to store all the bags/shopping too!

My DD is 3.5 and has SEN. She just about fits in her buggy but is very tall so her feet nearly hit the ground. She's getting an SEN buggy next month thanks to her OT who agrees she needs it for safety, particularly as I don't drive and she has no danger awareness.regularly refuses to walk/demands to be carried.
We get regular comments/side eye from random passersby about how she should be walking and my lazy parenting. It's very wearing.