to be annoyed by “he is too big for a pram” comments

[PlumPudd]

In the last couple of weeks we’ve had two unsolicited comments from random passers by about our son being too big for a pram / that he should be walking on his own.

The first one was from a woman manning a posh vintage jewellery stall in a very busy narrow street in Islington at the weekend (Camden Passage for those who know it) who leaned out from behind her stall and said pointedly, while looking at the couple in front of us and their older toddler; “It’s so refreshing to see a child actually walking for once” then looking back at us “he’ll never learn to walk properly if you keep him in there.”

The second was just a woman outside a park on a fairly busy road, who again looked me straight in the eye and said. “He is too old for a pram.”

Am I being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed / surprised by this?!? Has anyone else had these kinds of random comments about kids being in prams.

Our son is 16 months, though quite tall so he could be perceived as older and yes, he’s a very good walker but he is only just learning to hold one of our hands and is still pretty prone to just wondering off, or suddenly bolting away after random dogs or towards interesting looking trees etc. so we’re definitely not going to let him walk in places like a busy road, or a super crowded narrow street where he could be lost or under a car in seconds. In the park, or at the playground yes.

Is this normal?!? Or are these random nosey parkers right and we’re somehow stunting him

Some people are just ignorant arseholes and best ignored. Do they not realise that firstly children develop and different rates, secondly that due to disability some children can only walk short distances or can’t walk at all and thirdly that it’s none of their bloody business anyway!

I thought you was going to say he is 3/4. That's rediculous for a 16 months old!! Mine didn't walk until 17 months and was so wobbly and not able to walk sensibly enough for outside for a long time after that. I would say back the them he's only 16 months! Tell a white lie and say he's not walking yet to shut them up.
Mine are 18mo and 3.5 and I still use the double pram when taking them out on my own, the eldest has suspected asd and just runs, doesn't see danger. I couldn't manage to take them anywhere if I didn't use a pram. I've never had a comment

16 months?! My dd didn’t start walking till she was 18 months. Ds only started at 15 months.

We ditched the buggy at 4

Let him walk but put a walking harness on him and you can enjoy the comments about him being treated like a dog. Variety and all that

Oh yes! We get these too! When I mentioned reins to a friend who had one toddling and one in a pushchair, she said she would need to discuss it with her DH before leashing her child. 🤨🙄

I didn’t need to discuss it with my DH. I bought the reins and he agreed that pointless, judgemental comments were preferable to a lost or run over child.

I thought you were going to write 6 or something! Laughing to myself at the thought of having 16 month old walk everywhere. It would take hours to get anywhere 🤣

Both of mine were walking well at that age but still needed a pushchair - 16 months is young!! We used a pushchair on the school run until dd2 was 3 (she came with us). It was a mile. She'd manage just fine if we left plenty of time but generally on the way back she'd be tired so would hop in for a bit. One dick- father did comment but I said it was easy for him to judge as his dc would have bags of energy as they were driven to school and back. By the time dd2 was 3 I'd lost my smile and nod filter entirely.

I find tall toddlers confuse people. I was once with dd2 in a supermarket. She's always been taller (just about to start secondary school and is 5'5"). The checkout operator made a point of saying to dd "And why aren't you in school" before giving me evils. My response was "Because she's two".

Parenting advice from strangers is the most annoying advice of all!

Who are all these people commenting in children in buggies...wtf has it got to do with them.

Just give them a hard stare and ignore them. Imagine if the child had a disability and they said this..bloody idiots.

I find tall toddlers confuse people

My DD2 is really tall for her age but still has a baby face and very little hair. People get so confused about how old she is! 😂

Someone who’d never met my DD1(8yo) said I should try and pass her off as a tall 5yo to get her in somewhere. I just laughed as she only just gets believed as a tall 8yo. DH and I just make tall children!

WTF just ignore them. Vintage ablest attitudes to go with their vintage stick in Camden passage.

My eldest was in a buggy for ages because we didn't have a car and the youngest always wanted to be off exploring so I wanted to get us to a place they could both be free asap.

IME people who make comments or are smug about how early they got rid of their buggy are either have cars or are coparenting with half the week free to run child free errands. I only know one person who got rid of by 3 and was neither of the above but they're a really high energy, physical family and youngest DC could already skate and ride a pedal bike.

My bff told me she wished it was more socially acceptable to stick her 5-6 yo on a buggy as she'd get round the supermarket and home quicker and with less agg.

1. 16 months I not too old for a buggy

1. People should mind their own business

Oh God yes, I remember some old git behind the till in Marks and Spencers asking me why my kids weren't in school. When they were 2 and 4. The best part of it was that DS1 HAD actually been to school that morning but because he was still in nursery, he only did half days.

My daughter walked at 12 months and was walking down high streets/near busy roads/pretty much anywhere at 16 months. She would either hold our hand or we would use reins.

Of course she’s older now and we still take the pram everywhere but she mostly walks everywhere anyway.

Why not use reins with your son?

I'm big on walking. Just back from a camping holiday where my four year old walked an average of 8 miles a day for context.

But on a busy London street with a 16 month old they'd 100% be in a buggy. Probably up to about three in that context

There are times and places for walking and that's not it

I had this too, my son didn't walk until 14 months and he's very very tall, even yesterday he was playing with a 5/6 Yr old and was taller (he's 3 now). Ignore them, CF's

My son is a tall 2.5 and he gets dropped off at nursery early doors by my husband. He goes down in his buggy because he's still half asleep that early 🤣. He didn't walk until he was nearly 18 months and that had nowt to do with buggy use. He just didn't fancy it.

OMG How rude!! I'd be so tempted to yell something back at them "Do you want to try to make a 16 month old walk for hours? "

How rude! I wouldn't dream of commenting on the age of any child in a pushchair, especially a stranger's child, as (a) it's none of my business and (b) there's no way of knowing whether they have SEN etc. Perfectly normal for a 16 month old to be in a pram, they only have little legs and can't be expected to walk everywhere.

My DD has never liked walking if she can help it and would quite happily have been pushed around well into infant school if I’d let her. In fact now she’s 8 she still looks wistfully at pushchairs and wishes she could be pushed in one!

Anyway while all her peers were “really independent” and “won’t even go in the buggy!” and tramping miles at 2, she was sitting back with her feet up enjoying the ride until she was nearly 4. I didn’t mind and I like the carrying space for shopping so it was all fine to me!

My son was huge and in his pushchair until he was over three ( he's autistic and could give Mo Farah a run for his money 🤣).
I've heard all the comments about him being too big but a quick mind your own business soon shut them up 🤷‍♀️

I one of mine was walking from 9 months, I still used to use his pushchair till around 3/4 because I didn’t drive and shopping , tired legs, running off, naps, walking to slowly because ‘ squirrel !’ Pay no attention , because how fucking rude ! Uanbu!

Ignore. You can't win. By 18 months my two were both pushchair refusers and I have had more than one person accuse me of cruelty for making them walk. Whatever you do when it comes to raising kids, someone will tell you you're doing it wrong.

16 months is nothing. It's when you see pictures of celebrities pushing school age kids around that it becomes worrying.

At his age I'd be shocked he wasn't in a pushchair...in fact I know one mum who collected her age 4 boy in a pushchair for the first term of reception...no one said anything and he was asleep before she left the road the school was in. You do what's right for you but at 16 months I'm shocked you get any comments

This^