to be annoyed by “he is too big for a pram” comments

[PlumPudd]

In the last couple of weeks we’ve had two unsolicited comments from random passers by about our son being too big for a pram / that he should be walking on his own.

The first one was from a woman manning a posh vintage jewellery stall in a very busy narrow street in Islington at the weekend (Camden Passage for those who know it) who leaned out from behind her stall and said pointedly, while looking at the couple in front of us and their older toddler; “It’s so refreshing to see a child actually walking for once” then looking back at us “he’ll never learn to walk properly if you keep him in there.”

The second was just a woman outside a park on a fairly busy road, who again looked me straight in the eye and said. “He is too old for a pram.”

Am I being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed / surprised by this?!? Has anyone else had these kinds of random comments about kids being in prams.

Our son is 16 months, though quite tall so he could be perceived as older and yes, he’s a very good walker but he is only just learning to hold one of our hands and is still pretty prone to just wondering off, or suddenly bolting away after random dogs or towards interesting looking trees etc. so we’re definitely not going to let him walk in places like a busy road, or a super crowded narrow street where he could be lost or under a car in seconds. In the park, or at the playground yes.

Is this normal?!? Or are these random nosey parkers right and we’re somehow stunting him

I used a pushchair for my dd until she was 3 and I am sure some people thought it was odd, particularly that she was rather tall for her age.

But living in London with no car, I used to walk everywhere. And as a lone parent and being rather petite myself, I could not carry her if she got tired at the end of a day out.

Great response!

I also have an older child in a pushchair due to autism his pediatrician recommended keeping him in one until he has some understanding around dangers him. I alway get comments from people even our own family. I wish people would just mind their own business.

People need to mind their own business. I used to care for a little boy with autism. He was incredibly tall and strong for 4 years old. We had a huge SEN pram so we used to get lots of rude comments.
We got on a bus once and as I was putting my purse away, a woman unclipped him and was helping him out! He ran around the bus collecting bus tickets and then had an almighty melt down when he couldn't find more and refused to get back in. We never got off the bus, just went in a loop back home the meltdown was so bad.

OP what a bizarre comment to get. I would never pass judgment or comment myself to strangers. Kids differ is size massively. Some hold your hand, while others run for freedom. Of course some kids have disabilities that aren’t obvious. Also there is only so much walking a small child can do and many need a break or a nap in the buggy.
Some people just haven’t any common sense.

I had this comment several times about my very tall DD2. Even before she could walk. People are so judgey and smug op. Ignore them.

My tall 21 month old has walked (ran) since before her first birthday and I still use a pushchair. We need it if she gets tired or the street is too busy or she's being too difficult and bolting. I've never had a commemt (about that). People are weird, nothing wrong with a pushchair. At that age they're not that reliable to walk nicely along side you, holding your hand.

I don't find parenting advice from my brother much better tbh and I can't avoid him. Parenting advice should only be given when asked for.

16 months?!? So he’s only been walking for maybe 3-6 months?? People are insane.

I didn't either and my ds was a lazy so and so who preferred being carried or conveyed in the pram over walking!

Best just to ignore people. You don't need to consider their unsolicited opinions, after all, they are nothing to you, so why would you care what they think.

Some people just haven’t any common sense

and this is the main problem in the world I feel! From Putin to Truss to Johnson to random people giving parents unsolicited advice about how to look after their children!

I honestly cannot imagine what possesses these people to have such bad manners as to make these comments. I really do not understand it at all.

Ignore them OP! I also have a big, tall baby who looks a lot older than he is. People have made remarks about various things, I normally just say match whatever tone they've used and make a polite(ish) but pointed reply back.

I got a push cahor that can be used up until 4. My sister was horrified as to why I would need it that long. We have 1 car that my patner uses to commute and my sons nursery is a half an hour walk away (2.5 km each way). After a day at nursery he is not able to walk that. She has a car and drives her kids to nursery every day. I think people who judge don't understand the various reasons why in different circumstances they are needed.

I take the pushchair for my tired 3 year old- I’m 31 weeks pregnant and can pop him in if needed.

I think I would have to be extremely horrible to any stranger who criticised my parenting in this way.

Not their business. I can see why you are angry, they were buggering rude.
Even if he was a substantially older child, they are a multitude of reasons why he might be in a buggy.
As people say, some children with SEN are in pushchairs for their own safety etc.
Snap judgements. Not cool.

Deadpan face, look them in the eye and say "And what age do you think he is? I can guarantee you will massively overestimate it". Hopefully that will shut them up!

My DD didn't walk until 18 months. A complete stranger once told me off for using a rain cover on the pram. He said she would suffocate. This was while we were stood in the queue at the bank. Everyone could hear. I completely blanked him, the cheeky sod.😡😮

16 months, lmao.

My dd didn't walk til 15 months.

There's always some mad person around spouting shite.

*16

Yeah I’ve got no real problem with strangers saying legitimate stuff to me or him. If for example DS was a bit older and was loudly misbehaving in a cafe, or kicking the back of someone’s chair or something and they asked him to quieten down a bit I wouldn’t mind. I know some people get very irked by anyone ‘interfering’ in their parenting but I don’t mind if it’s legitimate and not mean. It takes a village etc.

I think what threw me about these comments is that DS is SO little, an age where some babies are not yet even walking. And the comments are so subjective. Who cares if he was two or three or four and having a break in his buggy?!?

Ignore them! My 2.5 yr old (who is a brilliant and very happy walker - compared to my older one at least!) is still in the pushchair sometimes... he still naps so we need for that at a minimum

Oh and practically - if i had walked everywhere with my dd at that age it would have taken about 6 months to get to the park and back

My 3 best mates all have 2.5 year old and all wheel them about in strollers how else would you get anywhere quickly or safely

People can be such judgmental pricks! I walk everywhere I can, I love walking! And my 5 year old loves it too, but little legs get tired. If I’m walking 10 miles in a day, getting errands done school runs and so forth, of course she’s going to get tired. I have a 1 year old now in the pram but up until she was born I took the pram with me so eldest could walk when she wanted and have a rest when she wanted. She’s incredibly active and healthy, but she still is only small. Now she hops on the buggy board if we have been out for hours. I bet those same people would be complaining about driving everywhere and using the car when you could walk! Why is it anyones business. Absolutely irks me!