to be annoyed by “he is too big for a pram” comments

[PlumPudd]

In the last couple of weeks we’ve had two unsolicited comments from random passers by about our son being too big for a pram / that he should be walking on his own.

The first one was from a woman manning a posh vintage jewellery stall in a very busy narrow street in Islington at the weekend (Camden Passage for those who know it) who leaned out from behind her stall and said pointedly, while looking at the couple in front of us and their older toddler; “It’s so refreshing to see a child actually walking for once” then looking back at us “he’ll never learn to walk properly if you keep him in there.”

The second was just a woman outside a park on a fairly busy road, who again looked me straight in the eye and said. “He is too old for a pram.”

Am I being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed / surprised by this?!? Has anyone else had these kinds of random comments about kids being in prams.

Our son is 16 months, though quite tall so he could be perceived as older and yes, he’s a very good walker but he is only just learning to hold one of our hands and is still pretty prone to just wondering off, or suddenly bolting away after random dogs or towards interesting looking trees etc. so we’re definitely not going to let him walk in places like a busy road, or a super crowded narrow street where he could be lost or under a car in seconds. In the park, or at the playground yes.

Is this normal?!? Or are these random nosey parkers right and we’re somehow stunting him

A pram or a pushchair (buggy). Fine for a pushchair but seems a bit old for a pram as they can only lie down🤷‍♀️

My 4 year old is still in a disability buggy. Haven't had any comments (that I've heard) but lots of people seem to do a double take. He also still has a dummy so I would imagine it's fairly obvious to anyone with half a brain cell that he has SN. To be Frank I have enough to deal with without worrying about other people's judgement. If I catch anyone staring I give them a big smile.

16 months? Just ignore. I used a buggy until was 4 as I didn't drive and used to walk miles every day/shop/ out for the day.

**16 months?

I still used my buggy until ds was nearly 4, sometimes it was needed because he was dawdling & it was better than me blowing my top & him showing off that he couldn't nosey at everything for ages.

You could roll out the new Mumsnet line "thanks random person"
Ie piss off and shut up

🙄

DD was always very tall for her age, I didnt drive either when she was small so we would take the buggy out with us until she was 3 or even 4 years if it involved alot of walking and she looked 5 or 6 so we got these comments all the time or it was comments on her red hair although those tended to be nicer. Turns out DD actually had a minor problem with her feet/legs linked to her rate of growth that we didnt find out about until she was 9 so it was a good thing she had had access to the buggy on longer walks.

DD is 12, 5 ft 9 and walks around town and hikes up mountains perfectly well now so her time in the buggy certainly didnt hinder her.

“he’ll never learn to walk properly if you keep him in there.”

She must be thinking of thise swathes of able bodied teenagers, neurotypical teenagers who are still crawling because their terrible, lazy parents used a pushchair past the age of two

That’s crazy that people have commented.

My DS is also 16 months and good at walking. But he can only walk for about 10 mins before getting bored so we take the pram if we’re going further than that.

And I definitely wouldn’t have him walking in a busy place - he’s not good at holding hands and would just want to be carried.

I would assume they think he's older. We used pushchair till 3 never got any comments

My response to: ”he’s too old to be in there”

Would be : “Why, how old is he”?

As they must know your child better than you!

Neither of mine walked until they were 18 months. My eldest looked older and did get a few remarks. Mainly if I took him out without shoes on. He couldn't fucking walk, why would he need shoes?!

The thing is though even when they're 2/3 and can walk, sometimes it's safer and quicker to have the pushchair to strap them into when you're out. Particularly if you have more than one. IMO a toddler in a pushchair is preferable to a dithering toddler in reins.

Same here - the last time I used her buggy was actually the day she started school.

I get comments about the 3 year old in the pushchair. Because we walk long distances and he can't walk as far as adults so yes we push him some of the way (after he's walked miles).

I have some friends who are very against buggy/pushchair use (preferring to sling or carry children when they get tired), but they drive everywhere so can leave all the 'stuff' in the boot whereas I walk everywhere.

Who even notices stuff like this unless they’re completely insane?!

@BellePeppa I just use the words pram and pushchair interchangeably, not sure why, probably that’s what was said when I was a kid.

But it’s a perfectly standard pushchair / pram, with an upright seat, that you sit in as though you would a chair.

My DD is 2 and a half and still in a buggy, no one has said anything. She will only walk a short distance and then sit on the floor and refuse to move, we'd literally never get anywhere! We are working on it! Plus neither of mine walked at all until they were 16 months so it would have been very slow progress with them toddling along 😂

My youngest is 23 months but very a very capable walker. She’s also a very capable runner so we have to be careful when we left her free-roam. If she’s not in her pram, she’s usually on her reins because she’s only just starting to consistently hold our hands. We do let her walk as much as we can but she’s also only got little legs and gets tired. I can’t carry her indefinitely because she’s heavy so a buggy is the best solution.

Just give them a 🤨 look at their comments and ignore them. You’re not holding him back!

“he’ll never learn to walk properly if you keep him in there"

"Ah well, as long as he learns not to make weird comments to complete strangers, that's the main thing"

😄

I get comments about the 3 year old in the pushchair. Because we walk long distances and he can't walk as far as adults so yes we push him some of the way (after he's walked miles).

I have some friends who are very against buggy/pushchair use (preferring to sling or carry children when they get tired), but they drive everywhere so can leave all the 'stuff' in the boot whereas I walk everywhere.

This is the same as us we live rurally and I try to avoid using the car when I can so use the pushchair for our toddler, she can walk fine and does for some of the way but we would never get anywhere fast otherwise and the roads can be quite dangerous.

My friend with a child the same age has also ditched her pushchair but drives everywhere, even to the park.

She’s clearly not wheeling around a 16 month old lying down in a newborn carrycot.

I call it a pram too OP.

Let him walk but put a walking harness on him and you can enjoy the comments about him being treated like a dog. Variety and all that 😂. Ignore these opinionated idiots or have a rapid comeback. I'd be tempted to say he has a rare fatal genetic condition and will never walk. Make them feel so bad they refrain from such comments.

Am I not meant to be wedging my nearly 2yo in the lay flat pram anymore? Oh!!! Did wonder why she looked so squashed! 🙄

OP obviously means an appropriately sized buggy for a 16mo.

Whether or not my children used a pushchair/ buggy depended on generally how they were that day/ where we were going/ if we needed to be there at a certain time/ how well they were walking at that point.

The age of the child never came into it.