to be annoyed by “he is too big for a pram” comments

[PlumPudd]

In the last couple of weeks we’ve had two unsolicited comments from random passers by about our son being too big for a pram / that he should be walking on his own.

The first one was from a woman manning a posh vintage jewellery stall in a very busy narrow street in Islington at the weekend (Camden Passage for those who know it) who leaned out from behind her stall and said pointedly, while looking at the couple in front of us and their older toddler; “It’s so refreshing to see a child actually walking for once” then looking back at us “he’ll never learn to walk properly if you keep him in there.”

The second was just a woman outside a park on a fairly busy road, who again looked me straight in the eye and said. “He is too old for a pram.”

Am I being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed / surprised by this?!? Has anyone else had these kinds of random comments about kids being in prams.

Our son is 16 months, though quite tall so he could be perceived as older and yes, he’s a very good walker but he is only just learning to hold one of our hands and is still pretty prone to just wondering off, or suddenly bolting away after random dogs or towards interesting looking trees etc. so we’re definitely not going to let him walk in places like a busy road, or a super crowded narrow street where he could be lost or under a car in seconds. In the park, or at the playground yes.

Is this normal?!? Or are these random nosey parkers right and we’re somehow stunting him

So fucking what if he was 3. As an adult you choose to get the bus or drive a car if able bodied as you don’t fancy walking and so what if a kid is in a pram or pushchair at that age if that’s what works for parents and child. Especially in a busy city to keep them safe etc.
@PlumPudd the same people would have complained if you had him walking on reigns or free reign run at her stall or if he went missing as you let him walk lose. People are just pricks.

@YellowTreeHouse we have used reins / a backpack with a strap once or twice to get him used to them, but while he’s a very good walker/ runner he hasn’t yet got the concept of walking from A-B all the time or staying with us. He will do it sometimes but equally if he sees something he likes the look of he just wiggles out of holding our hands and sets off in the direction of whatever dog / tree / shop / older kid / rubbish bin has caught his eye. Which is fine in the park, but not on a busy London street or when you’re running errands and can’t spend three hours buying milk, bananas and posting a letter.

Hugely tall/heavy childrem where I live have a tantrum aged 4 if they have to walk instead of pram even short distances. I see parents struggling, sweating but god forbid their child walk a short distance HOWEVER I would never comment.

I always used a pram for my children up to ages 2.5 then they walked.

I know that bit of London well. Loads of toddlers are in pushchairs as the footpaths are busy and sometimes narrow, and the A1 isn’t exactly the quietest road. I wouldn’t think twice about a little one in a Bugaboo Bee.

The two commenters are joyless and have clearly forgotten what it’s like at that age.

My son is nearly three, extremely tall and autistic. He will be using a pushchair for the foreseeable. It’s not laziness- my eldest gave hers up at around 16 months and the middle child the same. I can’t wait for the day my son doesn’t need it, but unless he can learn to walk in a straight line, gets some danger awareness, doesn’t try and repeatedly sit on the floor touching it and trying to put pebbles or other random objects from the floor in his mouth… it’s the pushchair for any distance.

My ds is 2 years and still in his pram when we are going somewhere, as it's just easier and if we let him wander we never get anywhere.
We take him out when we get to our destination.
Ignore them, if someone dictated to me like that I'd tell them exactly where to shove it.

My youngest didn't walk until 17 months... I'm obviously terrible.

She's 3.5 now and still very attached to her buggy but we're working on it

Utterly bizarre reaction from strangers. My 3 year old still uses a push chair because we walk everywhere and it would take us the whole morning to walk the mile to nursery otherwise.

Luckily we have never had any comments or funny looks. Either that or I'm totally oblivious to random judgey- pants!

People are TOO BOLD these days. Hes just turned one for crying out loud!

YANBU but I think it’s normal. There’s a certain subset of parents who have no imagination about how tired small children get, possibly because they’ve never had any or because they drive everywhere.

I used a pushchair for my twins until they were almost 4 because we didn’t have a car. I would walk them to pre-school with their baby brother in a sling, and then push them home because they were knackered! What else was I supposed to do, I couldn’t carry them! I’m sure I was judged but I really didn’t care.

My dc had a pram and could sit up.
What are you thinking of?

People should mind their own business.
My son wasn't even walking at 16 months, ffs.

I had similar comments when my ds was that age because he looked like a 3 year old. I also had dd1 who was at that time 2.5years old and standing on a buggy board. I'd just say his age on repeat and would you rather have me running in opposite directions? It's the same people that would moan had your son been toddling down a narrow street holding them up. Its so bloody annoying! Yanbu!

Ignore them!

Was out recently with SIL, my DD is 2 (26 months to be exact) and her son the same, born only 3 days apart. And in one morning around town we each had multiple comments about how I was mean for making DD walk (she now refuses the buggy, but will use her buggy board if she gets tired) and also how SIL was stunting her son's development for having him in the buggy! 🤷‍♀️ I have a younger DS so am able to have the buggy board option for DD but she only has the 1 child so far so it's either a buggy or nothing and since they're both only 2, aren't up to walking for hours on end.

You do what you feel is best for your child! You know them, strangers don't.

How rude of them! People always like to express their unwanted opinions, it winds me up too.
He sounds far too young to be walking in a busy place like that, plus it’s handy to have the pushchair for shopping or if he gets tired.
I’d just ignore them.

What a weird comment.
I used a buggy for big days out (theme parks etc) right up until aged 4. Especially if you have lots of stuff to carry as well it's just practical.

Neither of my 2 were walking by 16 months and just carrying them while I nipped in to a local shop was back breaking and there's zero chance I'd be heading out for a whole day with a non walker and no buggy.

@goldsparklyChocolate

Maybe one of the badges on this page or something similar would be useful for you,

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/588099181/treat-as-wheelchair-sign-disabled-buggy

Two of mine weren't walking at 16 months and noone can do the shopping, get to the post office or dry cleaners, dash to pick up the older children from school etc with a toddler stopping to inspect every blade of grass on the way.
Ignore these obviously ridiculous remarks. In fact ignore any unsolicited remarks from people you don't know well and have respect for.

probably the carry cot on a pram, but most pram come with a carry cot and a seat that sits upright you can just change them over when you need to, to me a buggy/pushchair are those umbrella fold ones.

i still use a buggy for my 3 year old. She dawdles and doesn’t like holding my hand, plus sometimes I have shopping to carry and don’t want to manage them both, so in the buggy she goes. Don’t care what anyone else thinks.

People can be very strange. My 2 year old is still in a pushchair and probably will be for a while. Admittedly he does use it less and less now but I can't imagine not using it at all - I think for my eldest I ditched it about just before 3 for good.

Also, it's good for lugging all the crap of the day on that DC refuse to carry

Up to you, OP, it doesn’t matter what random strangers think.
I had my 16 month old walking on reins, as I needed the pram for her baby sister. She walked at 12 months, but was steady enough by 16 months to manage longish distances.
As I live in Perthshire, the kids soon got used to climbing hills as toddlers.
They now have great stamina as adults - can climb five Munros in a day, so it seems to have benefited them to develop their leg muscles while young tots!

We regularly used the buggy until DD was 3 and she’s tall so probably looked 4. Things like the nursery run and shopping were a million times easier. Anyone who wanted to judge that can get fucked, better a child who uses a buggy than one who is driven everywhere and walks the final 20 metres. Needless to say her walking and stamina and everything is perfectly fine.

Incredibly rude, why do people think they have the right to comment in this way

I reckon I must have a "fuck off" face.
3 dds. All of them had a buggy til over 3. Youngest one was on the 97th centile for height.
Never had a comment. And can confirm that they all are fine walkers in adulthood.