Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put opposite sex DC in same room?

249 replies

Cocopogo · 25/08/2022 23:04

Going away for a week and there’s a double bedroom and a twin room. I was going to have the double (on my own, nice room with balcony etc) and put DS 17 and DD 13 in the twin but I’ve been told I can’t do that it’s weird.
If they had the choice they’d have separate rooms because they annoy each other as siblings do but they’d both want the double bed but the obvious option is for me to share the twin with DD but I know she’ll wake me where as DS is a heavy sleeper and the other room is lovely and wasted on DS 😁
AIBU to put them together?

OP posts:
MiddleParking · 26/08/2022 06:57

Why?

MiddleParking · 26/08/2022 06:58

That was supposed to be a quote tweet of the post saying OP couldn’t tell the DS to hurry up in the shower etc.

RedHelenB · 26/08/2022 06:59

Cocopogo · 25/08/2022 23:04

Going away for a week and there’s a double bedroom and a twin room. I was going to have the double (on my own, nice room with balcony etc) and put DS 17 and DD 13 in the twin but I’ve been told I can’t do that it’s weird.
If they had the choice they’d have separate rooms because they annoy each other as siblings do but they’d both want the double bed but the obvious option is for me to share the twin with DD but I know she’ll wake me where as DS is a heavy sleeper and the other room is lovely and wasted on DS 😁
AIBU to put them together?

DS dd1 and dd2 all 15+ and me all shared a room on holiday. Not weird at all.

Cyberworrier · 26/08/2022 07:00

I shared a twin room with my bro on holidays as a teen and have also done so occasionally in my twenties and thirties too. You just change in the bathroom for privacy.

StopStartStop · 26/08/2022 07:05

Too old to share.
They would both be uncomfortable.
'Also, You'd be putting your dd at risk. Sorry, but that's how it is.
'What do you think would happen?' someone asked upthread. Probably nothing. But just in case,, don't risk it.
It is very worrying where many peoples minds go in these situations.
It's worrying that many people seem to be unaware of the potential risk.

Classicblunder · 26/08/2022 07:05

MiddleParking · 26/08/2022 06:58

That was supposed to be a quote tweet of the post saying OP couldn’t tell the DS to hurry up in the shower etc.

I think the poster meant that the DS would be having a wank

shazzybazzy34 · 26/08/2022 07:08

I would definitely fonit but mine would bicker and wreck my head.

berksandbeyond · 26/08/2022 07:09

Forever? No
On holiday? Absolutely fine

LuftBalloons · 26/08/2022 07:12

Flatfish123 · 25/08/2022 23:07

Of course there is no problem with siblings sharing! Even teenaged mix sex kids! I wouldn’t have given it 10 secs thought

This. Don’t know why people get worked up about this. They’re siblings. It’s what you do if you’re a sibling.

Classicblunder · 26/08/2022 07:14

StopStartStop · 26/08/2022 07:05

Too old to share.
They would both be uncomfortable.
'Also, You'd be putting your dd at risk. Sorry, but that's how it is.
'What do you think would happen?' someone asked upthread. Probably nothing. But just in case,, don't risk it.
It is very worrying where many peoples minds go in these situations.
It's worrying that many people seem to be unaware of the potential risk.

But surely you don't chaperone your teenagers 24/7? They will for example often be alone together in the school holidays. You can't rely on keeping them apart to prevent assault.

Hadalifeonce · 26/08/2022 07:16

Our 2 (22 & 19) will be sharing a twin room on holiday this year. Nothing weird about it, they have done this all their lives.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 26/08/2022 07:17

Absolutely no problem if they have a normal sibling relationship. It's not normal to assume any and all teenage boys will sexually abuse their sisters given the opportunity.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 26/08/2022 07:18

girlmom21 · 26/08/2022 06:46

If they're uncomfortable about sharing I don't understand why you'd even consider making them when there are better options available.

Better for who? Not for the mum, who is the adult, and paying for the holiday! Who's comfort is the priority?

SNWannabe · 26/08/2022 07:19

For me -and I have kids of different sexes- it’s more the specific ages and the fact they don’t want to share. At 13 your daughter is in the early teenage years where small things can be a big deal, hormones can be a bit wild and her body is very much private. I am thinking how my 13 yo values privacy and a space to be able to be alone. At 17 your son is nearly at the end of the teenage years and probably isn’t particularly sensitive to his sisters emotions. You’ve said they bicker already. And that they don’t want to share therefore it’s a recipe for disaster staring the holiday off on a negative.
So I would share with dd and if you’re fussed for the nicer room just share the bed?

vdbfamily · 26/08/2022 07:21

absolutely fine. We are on holiday currently with 3 teenagers and had booked 3 rooms. They all want opportunity to have a room to themselves so will swap around so various combinations of sharing. They are DD16 DS17 DD19. Last wedding we attended, all 3 of them shared a Travelodge room.

W0tnow · 26/08/2022 07:23

My 15 year old boy/girl twins have just shared a room all summer. No way am I giving up my double en suite room.

Fairislefandango · 26/08/2022 07:27

My dd 17 and ds 14 often share on holiday, or at home if we have people staying and not enough bedrooms. They alwats have. I don't see why it's weird at all. Mine get on really well and wouldn't bicker though.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 26/08/2022 07:37

I shared a room for 2 weeks abroad with my brother at that age (I'm older). Yes it was annoying but we got over it. They'll be fine, it's not like you're expecting them to share a bed.

@IKnowAPlace 😄 what a CF. I hope you didn't accept that.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/08/2022 07:38

I’ve said YABU. I do think it depends on your 13 yo especially as she’s a girl and younger. If they fight, is it physical? My mother ignored everything and put it down to sibling rivalry. I am nc from him for my physical protection.

AnnaFri · 26/08/2022 07:42

YANBU only because for me and my brother it's normal and never caused an issue

Heck a few years ago we shared a room and were 27 and 24. We booked the fanciest hotel we could find on a trip and therefore had to share (was £600 a night so no way to afford two rooms at the time)

It's your holiday, you've paid I assume so take the damn double for yourself!

hangrylady · 26/08/2022 07:53

StopStartStop · 26/08/2022 07:05

Too old to share.
They would both be uncomfortable.
'Also, You'd be putting your dd at risk. Sorry, but that's how it is.
'What do you think would happen?' someone asked upthread. Probably nothing. But just in case,, don't risk it.
It is very worrying where many peoples minds go in these situations.
It's worrying that many people seem to be unaware of the potential risk.

I don't live my life thinking that close male family members are sexual predators. These are the OPs children and the mere suggestion that the brother would act in any way inappropriately is offensive in the extreme.

StopStartStop · 26/08/2022 07:55

I don't live my life thinking that close male family members are sexual predators.

And there's the problem. That's how opportunities arise, how abuse is carried on within families and no-one seems to notice. Some are 'predators', some are opportunists.

BiFoldIsT · 26/08/2022 07:57

If a parent(s) has raised their son to believe it’s ok to rape his younger sister whilst sharing a room then of course they shouldn’t share.

All other normal families - crack on.

The level of weird projection going on here is a bit 😐. No wonder today’s teens are so fucked up.

ChobKnees · 26/08/2022 07:59

Oh god too many adults on this site bend over backwards for their children! The "children" can share, if they need to get changed etc they can use the bathroom, not that hard! You're paying for the holiday and deserve as much of a break than them!

ChobKnees · 26/08/2022 08:03

StopStartStop · 26/08/2022 07:05

Too old to share.
They would both be uncomfortable.
'Also, You'd be putting your dd at risk. Sorry, but that's how it is.
'What do you think would happen?' someone asked upthread. Probably nothing. But just in case,, don't risk it.
It is very worrying where many peoples minds go in these situations.
It's worrying that many people seem to be unaware of the potential risk.

You must walk around Earth constantly fearful.