Wtf is with this submissive women trend recently?

[lousyanxiety]

I'm seeing this everywhere on social media atm. Young women talking about returning to the "natural feminine state" of being "submissive" to your partner. It seems to include leaving your job, becoming a stay at home wife (or even girlfriend), cooking and cleaning for your partner, tending to all his needs, and leaving him in control of all the finances and difficulty of life.

Basically, you need to tap into your "divine feminine" energy to bring out a mans "masculine" energy to make him provide for you, take care of you, and stay loyal to you. And a woman who has "masculine" energy (aka provides for herself and is independent) will never truly be happy 🤔
Apparently the idea that women could have it all - career, kids, happy marriage etc was a lie and it's easier to just rely on a partner...
Whats so crazy about this is its WOMEN saying this stuff.

I mean... I thought we'd got past this mentality a long effing time ago??? Surely this is only going to benefit the man in the long run.

Is this a movement thats stemming from these alpha male podcasts? What is happening?

I'm assuming it's backdoor fundamentalism.

Look at the Facebook page ‘transformed wife’ it will make your jaw drop!

Stepford Wives

Hmm the backdoor fundamentalism thing is interesting. But the videos I'm seeing don't appear to have religious themes, they seem more like the female version of alpha male podcasts 🤔

This shit picks up momentum every few years but there's always someone around to tell women that if they diminish themselves then men will, idk, blossom into a high earning, high performing alpha males.

I suppose social media gives them more exposure and the ability to craft the narrative as though the idea were a luxury brand.

This is the first I’ve heard of it.
Each to their own I suppose. I think some people, not just women, are daunted by being financially responsible for themselves and maybe think of this as an easy way out of dealing with adult life properly. There are men who do this too - they are called ‘cocklodgers.’
The problem is, I think it takes a particular kind of man to be turned on by a woman who follows that kind of rhetoric. And that’s not a man I’d want to tie myself too. It sounds very risky.
I think any decent guy worth having would want a partnership based on true respect, love and friendship. You can’t achieve that when one of you is essentially a just a live in servant who offers sexual favours.

What the fuck? Not seen this but no thanks. Men are full of shit.

That's absolutely lunacy.

There is so much to object to, but the one that stands out is that we should have sex whenever our husbands want to, even when we don't feel like it, or are unwell. That this is obedience, this is our role and it will make us happier and more virtuous.

I can't believe women are following this, the comments are genuinely frightening

Presumably AGPs having fun. Or religious extremists. Either way, they can fuck off

Wtaf??!?

I haven’t come across this so I’d question the “everywhere” if your OP. Without seeing them for myself I’d assume they were “ women babies” running away from the responsibilities of being a grown up and putting all their faith in some dude to take care of the difficult stuff ( like money). I’d love to run into them in 20 years to see how it all worked out for them.

I mean where are you seeing it? I don’t see anything like this so it suggests it’s either people you follow or ‘suggested’ posts similar to those you’ve liked.

Oh this is interesting to me…mainly because I fit the kind of stereotype homemaker you’re kind of describing.

In my 20s I forged a successful professional career and was definitely an ‘equal as such’ to my husband, financially. It left me feeling empty though. I experienced anxiety depression and panic attacks due to work load, pressure etc

Once I had my daughter at 32 everything changed. I honestly find joy in serving the people I love most in the world, rather than serving a career/boss that doesn’t really value me. I am so valued at home and it has built my confidence immeasurably. I am so content, in a way that working and financially contributing couldn’t give me.

I think submissive is not how I’d describe myself. My husband is my equal in terms of most things - we make decisions together, respect each other etc. Being a SAHM requires a lot of trust in my husband. If I felt he didn’t value the work I do it would be hard.

I am happy to embrace that he has strengths that enable him to lead and earn and provide. I have strengths that enable me to support, guide, protect and nurture.
I guess it just depends on your personality and what you want out of life :-)

I've had a deep dive into this trend on social media and luckily I think about half of them are trolls at this point. The other half are part of the Christian "Return of the Daughters" movements who have been around since the 70s but have just started to use the internet.

There are a few independent people who get caught up in the appeal of cultural contrarianism and the floral aesthetics but my guess is that they'll get tired of it once they leave their early twenties, just like I grew out of Steampunk.

You know what, this goes against every ideal I have. I am very independent.

But so what. Who are any of the people in this thread, someone to tell someone to live their lives.

If they are happy then leave them be. Judge your own life.

Never heard of this either. It’s certainly not everywhere. There are a million freaky subcultures, people be weird.

A lot of young women seem to be into this type of thing, albeit not as extreme and dangerous as some of the ideas on the thread. But the masculine/feminine energy thing seems popular. I put it down in part to rebellion against the values they've been taught by their mothers, a fad that may appear romantic in theory, but would very quickly lose its appeal if they put it into practise. Especially when they realise no matter how much 'feminine energy' you pour into 'your man' he's still going to be Joe Average from Slough, no more capable or willing to 'look after you' than he was if you hadn't bothered.

Oh this comes around every ten years or so - used to be "surrendered wife" and there were books you could buy. Used to fascinate me. How does this work with an abusive man who spends all the family money on himself and doesn't come home for three to five days at a time - my ex H at the time.

This shot raises its ugly head every few years. I'm guessing someone is plugging a book or promoting some stupid website.

In my day it was The Surrendered Wife...

I think this too - it’s not ‘everywhere.’ I mean I see a lot of Cobra Kai stuff. It’s because I follow the account and like lots of the posts. But a while ago, when it was popular, I started seeing loads of Euphoria stuff. I don’t watch it and I’m not interested, so I kept pressing the posts with ‘show me less like this’ and then I didn’t see any of it.

If you’re genuinely seeing this stuff ‘everywhere’ then it’s either a problem with the algorithm, you’re liking similar stuff, or it’s people you follow.

SNAP, @LondonWolf ...😂

I interpreted it as a backlash to the idea that women have to act like men to be successful. When often that can backfire just as much and lead to a loss of identity and connection. It’s enough to be a woman and take pride in it and removing the trivialisation of feminine interests. That the starting point shouldn’t be “you can do this almost as well as a man, just work twice as hard as them for half the recognition” it’s saying it’s ok if you want to be a mum and or have a job that isn’t a Career when capitalist patriarchy is encouraging you all your friends to prioritise overtime at the office and freeze their eggs to start motherhood at 39 and not value the idea of a family unit.

im not saying that’s what I believe, but it did give me pause for thought. The kind of capitalist system we have prioritises “strong” individuals, not asking for help or support and being seen as disgusting for needing it, is very misogynistic (women as performance not just as a state of being) and anti family (the recognition that being a mother is a powerful thing). It was nice to see this championing of soft skills, community and being allowed to thrive in parenthood. I certainly don’t want my son to get the message that men are shit and selfish and women need to perform and prove themselves all the time.

but I can see how it’s threatening to people who see submission as equating to disempowerment, rather than seeing how it can be empowering (in the sense that in bdsm it’s the sub who sets the rules and allows or disallows or how Islam means submission to god. (My apologies for linking the two examples there, no offence meant) There’s a lot of well-being to be found within a shared and respected boundary.

I agree. It pops up every now and then. I remember seeing it in the 90s as a 20 something and my jaw dropping. It was more man oriented then with these Promise Keepers in the US telling men the usual Bible stuff that God is to them what they are to their wives. Even espoused “wife correction”- I read one wife’s account of how she gets a spanking when she’s been too sassy and how she’s absolutely ok with it. Just really sick stuff. It was as widely talked about in feminist circles as the abortion issues are today.

Now its back again with the Trad Wife stuff.

Apologies to those who genuinely are joint partners and have had good careers , but just like being homemakers- but there are a lot who deliberately go down this route who are apprentice WAGS with not much to offer professionally either. They aren't usually trying this route with a guy unless he can keep them in a nice lifestyle

@Theanswersarewithin except you do not fit the op. As far as I can tell, you're not evangelising about women adopting helplessness and meekness, you just don't work outside the home. Not a big deal, not what the op is talking about, no need to mount your impassioned defence.

Although describing yourself as a servant of your employer and subsequently of your husband is a bit odd. Unless that was your professional field I suppose.