Page 5 | Wtf is with this submissive women trend recently?

lousyanxiety · 2022-08-25T18:36:14+00:00

I'm seeing this everywhere on social media atm. Young women talking about returning to the "natural feminine state" of being "submissive" to your partner. It seems to include leaving your job, becoming a stay at home wife (or even girlfriend), cooking and cleaning for your partner, tending to all his needs, and leaving him in control of all the finances and difficulty of life. Basically, you need to tap into your "divine feminine" energy to bring out a mans "masculine" energy to make him provide for you, take care of you, and stay loyal to you. And a woman who has "masculine" energy (aka provides for herself and is independent) will never truly be happy 🤔 Apparently the idea that women could have it all - career, kids, happy marriage etc was a lie and it's easier to just rely on a partner... Whats so crazy about this is its WOMEN saying this stuff. I mean... I thought we'd got past this mentality a long effing time ago??? Surely this is only going to benefit the man in the long run. Is this a movement thats stemming from these alpha male podcasts? What is happening?

Upyouranty · 26/08/2022 08:02

They are the ultimate pick me girls. Lib debs for you. Check out the house bunny on Tik Tok. She’s a real women - she’ll teach you all you need to know. Only she doesn’t like women much - gets in much better with men. But if you agree with her then she’ll be your Pal.

Upyouranty · 26/08/2022 08:02

Excuse typos 😳

TimetohittheroadJack · 26/08/2022 08:04

lljkk , absolutely. All these submissive wivies seem young and beautiful and not middle aged, round about the middle, slightly grumpy women (ie, me).

My stay at home fantasty extends to a fantasy man who earns x10 my husband, and is delighted to come home to make his own chicken nuggets while I am still out drinking cocktails with my friends. The cleaning and housework was also done by the cleaner, although I might potter about in the garden the odd time.

BigFatLiar · 26/08/2022 08:09

sangletea · 26/08/2022 07:59

For years, (my mother and grandmother) women were gaslit into believing men have a hard day at work and the woman's role is to make sure he's well cared for at home. Man earns and woman does everything else. Children, housework, cooking

Bugger that! I know who had the easier day

Depends what the men did. OH's dad was an outdoor manual worker, all weathers hard physical graft. Sounded like a hard day to me. My dad was in engineering, wasn't as physical but it was constant all day every day. MiL was a sahm until DH went to school then she went to work (production line), she definitely thought work was tougher.

I think the tendency for office work and especially wfh has given a false impression of work. FiL used to say You'll never get rich taking your jacket off and getting your hands dirty.

forinborin · 26/08/2022 08:11

sangletea · 26/08/2022 07:59

For years, (my mother and grandmother) women were gaslit into believing men have a hard day at work and the woman's role is to make sure he's well cared for at home. Man earns and woman does everything else. Children, housework, cooking

Bugger that! I know who had the easier day

Who had the easier day then?

bibliomania · 26/08/2022 08:11

Maybe every girl looks at her mother's life and thinks "I'm going to do it differently".

BigFatLiar · 26/08/2022 08:13

Upyouranty · 26/08/2022 08:02

They are the ultimate pick me girls. Lib debs for you. Check out the house bunny on Tik Tok. She’s a real women - she’ll teach you all you need to know. Only she doesn’t like women much - gets in much better with men. But if you agree with her then she’ll be your Pal.

This is true of every type though, you could say similar for the feminist, they teach you how to conform to their way of thinking and if you don't your a victim of male society.

Everyone pushes their own agenda.

BigCheeseSandwich · 26/08/2022 08:16

I have a friend who is into this. She posts a lot on FB about her date “holding his masculine space” which appears to be stuff like ordering for her and asking her to wear a dress.

She’s quite a troubled person, jumps from fad to fad. I just hope she doesn’t end up with someone who takes advantage of her because the “feminine energy” vibe seems quite passive.

Beseen22 · 26/08/2022 08:20

I grew up in this world. Submission to your DH is a biblical idea. It is found in Ephesians

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands(A) as you do to the Lord.(B) 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,(C) his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands(D) in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives,(E) just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

You have to understand what kind of upbringing these people come from. The above text is taught at every wedding and probably at least annually in services. Your mother and grandmother etc would fully prescribe to this and quote it to you. You are taught purity culture in your teenage years with very very little sex education. You are taught from a very young age that everyone is personally responsible for the decisions they make and the sins they commit except when we wear clothes that reveal our bodies...because that causes men to stumble. You are in a spiral of fear shame and guilt. You are told that following this biblical principle for marriage is the only way to have a lasting marriage and to stop your husband from straying. As a young wife if you share an opinion someone will comment 'she needs to learn how to submit to her husband'. All leadership positions and speaking/public praying is done by men.
Most women are married in their early 20s just after graduating and have children within one year. They then stay at home with the children and all socialising is done at church events with likeminded women. They often have come from education so would have a degree to fall back ok but 0 work experience. Whilst most families in the UK rely on 2 parents working there is a LOT of money within families in this kind of setting. As the head of the home and the provider the DH will be in charge of the money and so the DW relies on him to be able to live. Divorce is not an option or they would be read out the church (which is their whole life, all social interaction is there).

The whole crux of the teaching is the second part of the verse though, for women to submit to their husbands he equally has to love them as Christ loves the church. So in theory the women should not be left vulnerable as the husband should love her. That second part is not preached as frequently and no one would ever comment 'he needs to be taught about how to love his wife'

Vincitveritas · 26/08/2022 08:48

Opaljewel · 25/08/2022 20:11

You know what, this goes against every ideal I have. I am very independent.

But so what. Who are any of the people in this thread, someone to tell someone to live their lives.

If they are happy then leave them be. Judge your own life.

👏👏👏

NovaDeltas · 26/08/2022 08:51

It's not like you don't see it here on MN. "I have no work experience or qualifications, we never married because he refused so I just had kids anyway, I haven't a clue about finances and now I'm here for advice about my impending split."

Same story with less tiktok glamour.

Stravaig · 26/08/2022 08:52

It morphs every so often, used to be 'Surrendered Wife'.
For it to work, even within its own highly dubious terms, requires a supply of capable and hardworking men, worthy of trust and respect.

Vincitveritas · 26/08/2022 08:53

Beseen22 · 26/08/2022 08:20

I grew up in this world. Submission to your DH is a biblical idea. It is found in Ephesians

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands(A) as you do to the Lord.(B) 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,(C) his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands(D) in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives,(E) just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

You have to understand what kind of upbringing these people come from. The above text is taught at every wedding and probably at least annually in services. Your mother and grandmother etc would fully prescribe to this and quote it to you. You are taught purity culture in your teenage years with very very little sex education. You are taught from a very young age that everyone is personally responsible for the decisions they make and the sins they commit except when we wear clothes that reveal our bodies...because that causes men to stumble. You are in a spiral of fear shame and guilt. You are told that following this biblical principle for marriage is the only way to have a lasting marriage and to stop your husband from straying. As a young wife if you share an opinion someone will comment 'she needs to learn how to submit to her husband'. All leadership positions and speaking/public praying is done by men.
Most women are married in their early 20s just after graduating and have children within one year. They then stay at home with the children and all socialising is done at church events with likeminded women. They often have come from education so would have a degree to fall back ok but 0 work experience. Whilst most families in the UK rely on 2 parents working there is a LOT of money within families in this kind of setting. As the head of the home and the provider the DH will be in charge of the money and so the DW relies on him to be able to live. Divorce is not an option or they would be read out the church (which is their whole life, all social interaction is there).

The whole crux of the teaching is the second part of the verse though, for women to submit to their husbands he equally has to love them as Christ loves the church. So in theory the women should not be left vulnerable as the husband should love her. That second part is not preached as frequently and no one would ever comment 'he needs to be taught about how to love his wife'

Not sure what church you grew up in but it's not my experience, it sounds very cult like.

Divebar2021 · 26/08/2022 08:57

For it to work, even within its own highly dubious terms, requires a supply of capable and hardworking men, worthy of trust and respect

Here we go then. Thank me later

Wtf is with this submissive women trend recently?

Stravaig · 26/08/2022 08:59

@LondonWolf @FlowerArranger Similar vintage!

Vincitveritas · 26/08/2022 09:02

Divebar2021 · 26/08/2022 08:57

For it to work, even within its own highly dubious terms, requires a supply of capable and hardworking men, worthy of trust and respect

Here we go then. Thank me later

Yeah, let's just blame the Christians shall we?

Divebar2021 · 26/08/2022 09:09

I’m not blaming anyone but the attitude clearly exists within Christianity so why try and deny it.

Vincitveritas · 26/08/2022 09:12

Maybe because you shouldn't tar everyone with the same brush.

Anewdayanewdawn · 26/08/2022 09:15

Life is hard, and scary sometimes, and I think some people just think they would be better off being ‘looked after’ in some way. But the reality is that option is no less difficult, more so probably as you’ve got financial dependence on someone else thrown into the mix…

Anewdayanewdawn · 26/08/2022 09:16

‘Yeah, let's just blame the Christians shall we?’
And the Muslims, Jews and some other religions actually. Quite a few have ‘traditional’ views where a woman is subservient to a benevolent dictator type husband.

Vincitveritas · 26/08/2022 09:23

Maybe so but it's the Christians who are getting it in the neck as per usual. If I was to say Scottish men always wear kilts, have curly red hair, enjoy eating haggis and start fights after a few whiskys, would you find that acceptable?

Beseen22 · 26/08/2022 09:39

@Vincitveritas essentially looking back it probably was. Not blaming Christians at all. But from what i have seen online the subwissive wife movement that OP discussed is mostly Christian. I actually said 'submit' in my vows and I guess live a similar style of marriage. But I married an excellent DH who pulls his weight, respects my opinion and loves me and the children and we discuss decisions and make them based on our family. We still believe a lot of the principles that we were taught as children.

But I do believe that I am lying if I look back with Rose tinted glasses and miss the major issues that can arise when those who lead don't have the same values at heart. I cannot miss the friend who has sadly gone through a difficult marriage breakup for her situation to be discussed throughout every church of our type in the country and now 10 years on that she is getting remarried and has had to leave the church (or be read out) and join a more Liberal one even though she was the innocent party. You cannot close your eyes to the fact that some men put in high leadership positions took advantage of that and exploited vulnerable women that submitted to them as leaders. See Ravi Zacharias? I guess my problem is that the framework allows men who probably were never Christians in the first place into positions of power and authority over women purely due to the fact that they are male.

Upyouranty · 26/08/2022 09:39

I don’t try to teach anyone anything and I don’t have an agenda.

Upyouranty · 26/08/2022 09:40

@BigFatLiar reply ( sorry my dubious typing skills)

Vincitveritas · 26/08/2022 10:09

@Beseen22 ...the framework allows men who probably were never Christians in the first place into positions of power and authority over women purely due to the fact that they are male.

This is certainly one problem - misogynists were drawn to the church for all the wrong reasons and almost certainly failed to keep their end of the bargain - to love their wives as they love their own body.

'Submission' isn't a reflection of inferiority or lesser worth or a woman's place in society at large. To use the term 'submit' to justify abuse is to twist scripture and promote evil.