Wtf is with this submissive women trend recently?

[lousyanxiety]

I'm seeing this everywhere on social media atm. Young women talking about returning to the "natural feminine state" of being "submissive" to your partner. It seems to include leaving your job, becoming a stay at home wife (or even girlfriend), cooking and cleaning for your partner, tending to all his needs, and leaving him in control of all the finances and difficulty of life.

Basically, you need to tap into your "divine feminine" energy to bring out a mans "masculine" energy to make him provide for you, take care of you, and stay loyal to you. And a woman who has "masculine" energy (aka provides for herself and is independent) will never truly be happy 🤔
Apparently the idea that women could have it all - career, kids, happy marriage etc was a lie and it's easier to just rely on a partner...
Whats so crazy about this is its WOMEN saying this stuff.

I mean... I thought we'd got past this mentality a long effing time ago??? Surely this is only going to benefit the man in the long run.

Is this a movement thats stemming from these alpha male podcasts? What is happening?

Never heard of this, but then am not very social media savvy.

Seems to me though, that it could be a natural reaction to the lie pressed on my generation that women can easily ‘have it all’. I’m not saying women should start being submissive, or sahms, or whatever, but my generation was pressured to postpone motherhood as late as possible and to work incredibly hard, and to expect career success that is very very difficult to combine with being a great parent to several children.

So we worked incredibly hard, became quite successful, had children very late, struggled with the infertility and exhaustion that comes with mothering too late, then attempted to resurrect our career success only to find this impossible. Many of us are quite bitter about it.

I now tell young women to have kids young if they can, when body and energy is at its best, and focus on building a career later, when they can give it their full attention.

This always comes around in a cycle, it used to be the campaign for the feminine woman in the 80s, and then in the noughties some woman wrote a book about being a surrendered wife, and everyone got excited about that, and now we have tradwives. There’s some link to the alt right but mostly it’s just an insta opp and a way to get followers for your lovely dish towel folding. Ignore, they will grow out of it.

people who see submission as equating to disempowerment

Well, yes. Are you using the "stripping as empowerment" edition of the dictionary?

@Theanswersarewithin Are you a fundie, out of interest?

Being an SAHM is nothing unusual but the men leading thing is v Christian patriarchy.

Snap again 😁

@tickticksnooze no. Only an idiot would act against their best interests. No one should submit to something that harms them. But they are also empowered to make that choice. Stripping has nothing to do with it but nice straw woman all the same

I was worried I might have imagined it. Obviously not

I think "surrendered wives" were discussed at length on here weren't they?

Well it's a natural consequence of believing that there is such a thing as 'feeling like a woman'. Trans ideology was always going to take us here.

I'd be perfectly happy to be a kept woman. But, he'd have to be generous, loyal, responsible, smart, thoughtful, caring, resourceful, astute, humble, funny, supportive and protective.

Unfortunately, most of the men that want a submissive woman are raging narcs with deep rooted mummy issues that need an emotional (sometimes physical) punching bag to take out their feelings of inadequacy on. Not so much fun with one of those men.

I bought the book in the 90's, as I'd seen it on Oprah, and was curious. I was already a sahm, and it sounded (on the surface) interesting.
It's premise was 'if your man acts like a child, it's your fault because you act like his mum. Act like a damsel, and he will become your knight in shining armor '.

The book arrived, I read it and followed the instructions. It actually specifically said not to tell your husband you were doing it, he had to come to the conclusion naturally. ,🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

DH got confused, then cross, as I was suddenly leaving things up to him to decide. He read the book, declared it horse shit, and that was the end of that!

• one benefit it brought out was talking about why I'd wanted it in the first place. We did talk more about sharing the mental load, he and I are still good to this day

It's just another new thing against women instilling an 'idea' that edges closer and closer to 'the handmaid's tale' kind of world.

The idea was planted and its hit off!

Saying that, I think women are constantly told that we can have it all and that we should strive to, we're no less than men blah blah blah. But whether we want to accept it or not, it IS a man's world, the abortion laws in America and the fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban shows us that. I think the premise is that women have had enough of 'having it all' and actually just want to stay at home and have the kids and be homemakers and support their husbands like it was the way once upon a time.

They're just looking at that time in history with rose-tinted glasses and don't understand that times have changed for women out of necessity.

I'm not shocked that this has come about, the 'marry a rich guy and never work again' mentality is very popular with young girls, many who look to the Instagram influencer culture and just want instant riches.

I don't know about tapping into their ' divine feminine energy ' They sound tapped in the head.

It wouldn't be so bad if the man in question was an absurdly hot captain of industry with morals and thighs of steel etc but let's face it the men who go for this are probably far more of the Alan Partridge variety.

I wouldn’t be happy as a kept woman. I can’t think of anything worse. But even if I did, this would scare the sense back into me.

No man ever wanted a woman to be submissive for good and healthy reasons.

It's awful. I do think it's interesting that wo

Ive not heard of this but then Im a professional and so are my colleagues and friends

I assume its an american type of things. I see people like this as not really grown ups, life is frightening and overwhelming so I suppose thats why they do it.

Oops! Women have this 'option' and therefore some will chose to take it. It's easier. On hard days of working and returning home to a fractious child and a household to run, I dream of just letting DH do the hard real life stuff and I could just bake some scones and wipe down the kitchen... then I snap out of it! Men do not culturally have this 'option' so they don't take it.

Really? This is so weird, I didn't know this. I wonder why it comes around in cycles?

Reminds me a bit of Tim Dillon's recent skit where he's talking about how rebellious teens these days are doing it by embracing Christianity. Because dying your hair blue and fucking random strangers is too mainstream now 😭🤣.

Got my hard hat on for this but to some extent I don't completely disagree with them. I'm just coming into my 30s and the vast majority of my friends are single, realising if they want to have kids they better get a shift on, and wondering "where all the good men have gone". Those of us who had kids early are all going through break ups. I've been a single parent for the best part of 10 years and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous AF of my DB and SIL who've been together since their teens.

I think modern society is a bit fucked in a whole lot of ways. If I'm being 100% honest I think we've all been sold a bit of lie. A multi-faceted one. Maybe I'm odd but all I ever really wanted was a family. Nice husband. Nice house. Couple of kids. I kinda bought into the whole stick that having a good education, good career, established on the property ladder and financial independence would get me that "good man", and it's only with time I've learned that, generally speaking, what women and men find attractive in a life partner are NOT THE SAME. I wish someone had sat me down and told me that, and maybe I'd have spent a bit less focus on my career and a bit more focus on how to actually be a wife. Then maybe I wouldn't have had the massive hard slog of single parenthood for the last decade. Going into my 30s I feel like I can still be everything I am (smart and successful both career wise and financially) BUT I don't necessarily have to lead with that while I'm dating.

I feel like this post is a jumbled mess but it's sorta hard to get across the "lightbulb moment" in words...

I interpreted it as a backlash to the idea that women have to act like men to be successful. When often that can backfire just as much and lead to a loss of identity and connection. It’s enough to be a woman and take pride in it and removing the trivialisation of feminine interests. That the starting point shouldn’t be “you can do this almost as well as a man, just work twice as hard as them for half the recognition” it’s saying it’s ok if you want to be a mum and or have a job that isn’t a Career when capitalist patriarchy is encouraging you all your friends to prioritise overtime at the office and freeze their eggs to start motherhood at 39 and not value the idea of a family unit.

This makes a lot of sense.

Women who make money out of writing books, blogs and running businesses that encourage other women to become financially vulnerable are abhorrent.

I can only assume that women who fall for this without spotting the glaring hypocrisy are probably quite vulnerable to begin with.

And I say that as a sahm - which is nothing like what is being espoused here.

O to sexist in 6 replies.

Each to their own. I'm not going to be telling them they're wrong if that's how they want to live.

Never heard of it before.