People laughing at my disabled son

[Jennybeans401]

My ds has physical and mental disabilities. We are currently on holiday and I've been feeling upset today as several people have imitated/mocked him (not to his face but laughing in couples behind his back). They have also done this in front of me knowing I'm his mother.

It's made my family feel uncomfortable and I've been thinking should I speak to the hotel about it? We have worked hard to have a nice hiday and didn't expect the guests to be like this.

In many European countries it's not that common at all for children to have disabilities, so for some it might be an 'odd' sight

This is because those that are not aborted are often hidden away. Not treated like any other member of the family, taken out, mixing with other children, having fun on holiday.

The behaviour of adults such as those described by OP is undoubtedly part of the reason people hide their disabled children. A nasty experience for OP and her family. But a calamity for the children who live in societies like that.

I think I'd be playing this song loudly on repeat, and possibly singing along in their direction (depending on the acceptability of your children (and others hearing it).

m.youtube.com/watch?v=0doSWS0Fj24

Mocking a disabled child is terrible OP.

Now, if the other guests/culprits are indeed French and German, it saddens to me to hear that as I was raised in France and lived a couple of years in Germany.
There are idiots and cruel people everywhere sadly but you must understand it is shameful and not acceptable in either cultures! And you should really in fact verbally confront them. In English. You do not owe them the courtesy to make a linguistic effort. People who mock your son - in your presence to boot!- do not deserve that.
Brits tend to seethe too much and have an aversion to open confrontation. No time for politeness here. That kind of idiot will respect you more for it.
I hope your DS is treated better going forward.
Do complain to the hotel. When I was on holiday with my husband at an AI resort years ago I got harrassed by a very sad specimen. We complained and that guy did not bother me again. And most people understand English better than you think.

*acceptability of it towards your children

I see four options, :

1. Walk straight over, call these people cunts and tell them to fuck off.

1. Throw a bottle at their faces and tell them to fuck off.

1. Let your husband at em!

1. Ignore them. Sadly, this is probably the best option. I'd love to advocate just punching their stupid bullying faces but if they're happy bullying a disabled child then I can't imagine confronting them will go well for you or your husband.

Try and enjoy your holiday and take comfort in knowing that you are good people. Use this as learning tool for your son to know that some people just suck. They just fucking suck.

Alternatively, if you want the language to be somewhat cleaner, I would get everyone in your entire family to chant Loser at them, while making the footie pointing gesture and the L on the forehead gesture.

There are lots of things you could chant or sing at them to give them some back and feel better/have a laugh yourself.

Oh FFS 🤦‍♀️ Why do these threads always have to be turned in a xenophobic/race war ?

Which country are you in, OP? I think the hotel response would vary according to nationality. It shouldn’t, but it would.

I’m another poster who just KNEW that this would involve French people. I have twice stood up for myself in similar circumstances. First time I was quite young and I passive-aggressively just stepped backwards on to the woman’s foot. The second time I had found more mojo and I waited until the person being mocked had left the restaurant with me, quickly said just a minute, doubled back and went straight up to the woman and told her she was very rude.
Felt a lot better both times.
French women on both occasions, once in Germany and once in Switzerland.

I would want to rip their ignorant heads off! Lowest of the low scum.

Write a sign on something with an arrow and something like 'I'm a rude, prejudiced, ignorant cunt" that you can just hold up as needed/stand next to them. Or follow them around with the sign. Also laugh at them and point.

Going against the grain but I absolutely would mention it to the hotel. They may not be able to 'actively' do anything but at least they would be aware.

OP I am so sorry you and your family are going through this.
A 'thousand yard' glare and a 'What are you staring at ' might make them pipe down

Confront them, bloody pigs, show them up for what they are, What an earth must their kids be like

Go and ask them "Excuse me, do you have a problem? Why are you imitating my son?" (while pointing at your son). Doesn't matter if their English is minimal; they'll know exactly what you mean, and having to answer in a language they are not comfortable in will put them in an awkward position.

@Marmunia1066 I posted on the other thread about how the attitude of Americans has been (in our experience) is completely different to those of mainland Europe.

We only holiday in the USA now for this reason, as in almost 18 yrs of holidaying with DS we have had nothing but positive experiences.

This is terrible. There was a disabled boy in the supermarket (UK) a few days ago, very loud etc and not one person looked, mocked or made the family feel uncomfortable. People may berate the UK over a lot of things but I have never seen people here mock a disabled child.

I am so sorry you had to deal with such ignorance.

A hard, steady stare is a good way to go but personally I would follow that up with a stern ''what the f..k are you looking out?'' which I am sure will get your point across even if they don't speak the language :) but you might not want to be confrontational....

These people are idiots and cowards. To pick on a disabled kid is just the lowest of the low.

I am going to confess that I was born in France and have dual nationality but I have been back there for years and when I read these recent threads about how disabled people are treated, I think I will just continue to take my holidays and spend my money elsewhere.

@ArtichokeAardvark is someone was staying at my hotel and engaged in hateful behaviour they would be asked to leave - it’s not difficult is it. She has every right o expect it.

This is awful for you and your DS.
Its also sad that we in the UK are so far ahead of our European neighbours in terms of disability awareness and just general manners.

If I were in your situation I’d be showing them the universally understood middle finger.

That's absolutely disgusting behaviour and I'm so sorry this happened to your son. My son has autism and I've really had to assert myself and call people out when they are cruel or ignorant to him. Please don't let it ruin your holiday but definitely call them out on it some people think they can act however they want without consequence. I'm normally very mild mannered but I go full guns blazing when anyone is nasty to my son.

Disgusting behaviour. I am sorry this is happening to you 💐. Maybe say “excuse me, is there anything you’d like to ask me about my son’s condition?”.

This is why I don’t like humans much, we are a nasty species.

We can talk about disability and how to deal with abuse or we can talk crap about "abroad foreigners" specially rude Germans and French because being Mumsnet a British forum it's ok to insult them.

How ridiculous. It’s not an us vs them thing, what’s with the knee-jerk ‘must never criticise Europeans for anything and quick here is some stats on the UK’ reaction? No one has said the UK is some paradise in which no disability discrimination ever happens.

But I had enough bad experiences to know that there must be some cultural things at play. Something made it a bit more acceptable in certain countries for ADULTS to mock and stare at my disabled children.

To be honest I didn’t know about the differences in abortion rates or disabled dc being -laced in residential homes. It is heartbreaking to think that there are disabled dc in some countries in Europe that are essentially housebound because their families feel shame or would be subject to the same mocking we experienced but relentlessly.

After a our third disastrous holiday in Europe I swore we’d never take the dc anywhere with seemingly backwards attitudes to disabled people again. I nearly cried the first time we went to the US and the friendliness and kindness shown towards ds everywhere seemed overwhelming.

Some people are unbelievable. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this shit especially on holiday. They simply must be pathetically unhappy people to be behaving like that. Rise above the bastards as best you can ❤️

What vile excuses of human beings to behave this way. Just shameful and inexcusable. Sorry you have had to endure these idiots.

I'm so sorry OP, utter arseholes. My only advice would be to learn to say fuck off in several languages.

I'm so sorry you have to put up with such arseholes.

I'm glad your son is having a good holiday. I don't see any harm in talking to the hotel. I think ignoring and/or hard stares is probably the best. It depends.

People are arseholes as my old friend used to say. Really can't be doing with these sorts of people. Where do they get off upsetting people on their holidays ffs!