People laughing at my disabled son

[Jennybeans401]

My ds has physical and mental disabilities. We are currently on holiday and I've been feeling upset today as several people have imitated/mocked him (not to his face but laughing in couples behind his back). They have also done this in front of me knowing I'm his mother.

It's made my family feel uncomfortable and I've been thinking should I speak to the hotel about it? We have worked hard to have a nice hiday and didn't expect the guests to be like this.

Fuck off ignorant cunt should be easily translateable for them.
Oh the wonderful Europeans with their superior everything (according to Mumsnet).

French and German?

There was a post on here a few days ago about a family holidaying in France and also having problems with the French being disrespectful to their child with a disability

Any French people on here care to enlighten us as to why?

I'd struggle to remain calm if somebody was doing this to my child

You have my sympathy op, this disgusting behaviour

Thank you for the support, I'm heading into the hotel with ds and family so will reply later.

Sorry I wasn't implying that all German and French people are rude, one poster has been angry about this. I am just relating what we experienced abroad. We haven't had this in the UK from other adults. Kids yes.

I am so sorry that this has happened OP, I can only imagine how upset it has made you. If you want to pm me, I can give you some choice French and / or German for those making fun of your son. It will properly put them in their place.

The french and Germans are rude. I would just call them out and say something horrible back.

Apols I have not read the whole thread, but can tell you a way we developed of dealing with it. (Germans and Brits, mostly Brits)

A disabled friend was being mocked in the same way you describe. We got a system going, we would gather in a small group/ family group and all look and deliberately point at the perpetrators - be seen having a conversation about them, and maintain eye contact whilst looking them up and down for as long as it took - for them to be ashamed and leave the area.

We see it as both educating and shaming them at the same time.

It works for us.

I won’t let anyone mock my son who has ASD and SLD!
I think someone who gives a look once, then fair enough, but anyone who overly stares or openly laughs and mocks, well they’re fair game.
I will do exaggerated stares back at them- they always look away once they see I’m not happy, I will say “ well isn’t that rude” again the mockers are usually embarrassed at being called out.
If I were you, a stare to let them know you are aware they’re taking the piss, then a wagging finger and a very firm NO!!! No other words needed - they will soon get the message
oh and big hugs, some people are just twats - DO NOT let them ruin your sons holiday

Your lovely son was born with disabilities but they were dragged up to be utter cunts. If I was there ,OP! Lowest form of human life ! Honestly ! Hugs to you and your lovely boy ! What ignorant so and sos they are ! Let the hotel and holiday rep know about their disgusting manners! It takes a special nasty b*stard to mock a disabled person. Some of the nicest kindest souls i have met have been people with learning disabilities.

Its awful and I am so sorry this is happening . But I cant imagine what the hotel can do.

I’m so sorry OP that’s heartbreaking. I am a PA to a disabled lady and I would have the absolute fucking rage if anyone mocked her in front of me. It must be so upsetting for you. I honestly do not know what is wrong with some people. Regardless of your culture or upbringing, common human compassion should come naturally to us but sadly it is just not there for some people. As hard as it is, you’ve got to see that this is their issue, for some reason they are devoid of empathy and compassion, they are the ones really missing out on life if they don’t have this.
I hope you manage to be able to shrug they arseholes off. And if you see them again stare hard into their eyes, show them you see how black their souls are.
I hope you and your lovely son are able to have a fun holiday. Please zone these fuckers out, they are just not worthy of entering your headspace.

That is such awful and inhumane behaviour, I am so sorry you had to experience it! I would absolutely call them out on it - are they really that bereft of any decency!!! And if they get upset about it - great! They deserve nothing better.

Some sobering stats from the UK Government relating to 2019

In the year ending March 2019, the Crime Survey for England and Wales found that almost 1 in 4 (23.1%) disabled adults aged 16 years and over experienced crime (including fraud and computer misuse), compared with 1 in 5 (20.7%) non-disabled adults.

Around 1 in 7 (14.1%) disabled adults aged 16 to 59 years experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2019, compared with 1 in 20 (5.4%) non-disabled adults.

In the year ending March 2019, disabled women were more than twice as likely to have experienced domestic abuse (17.3%) than non-disabled women (7.0%).
In the three years ending March 2018, 3.7% of disabled adults aged 16 to 59 years experienced any sexual assault (including attempts), compared with 1.9% of non-disabled adults.

In the three years ending March 2018, disabled women were almost twice as likely to have experienced any sexual assault in the last year (5.7%) than non-disabled women (3.0%).

We can talk about disability and how to deal with abuse or we can talk crap about "abroad foreigners" specially rude Germans and French because being Mumsnet a British forum it's ok to insult them.

Sorry I wasn't implying that all German and French people are rude, one poster has been angry about this.

Don't apologise, OP. You didn't say all French or Germans are rude. Whoever took that away from this thread should save their anger for people committing real offences, such as mocking a disabled child.

I just came on to say I'm so sorry that antisocial wasters did that to your family. I'm with DH in wanting to punch their lights out, and I'm a very mild-mannered woman! Instead, please have some and I hope you can enjoy the rest of your holiday.

I can’t believe 12% think you are unreasonable, of course you’re not. Anyone laughing at a disabled child is the lowest of the low. So sorry that’s happened.

Nothing to add to the suggestions already made but I'm just so so sorry you are having this experience... what utter wankers...

Jesus. I am so sorry OP. What a bunch of arseholes.

I would talk to the hotel actually. Don’t pull your punches about how bad it is. Ask to see the manager and say that you may need them to speak to a couple of guests as they are distressing your son. I doubt very much they will do any such thing but it will make you feel better to make them aware.

This may or may not be realistic (language etc) but if you want to challenge the guests I would. There’s nothing wrong with asking if they speak English, if the answer is no then just say ‘don’t mock my son’ andif they do appear to then you can tell them they should be ashamed to mock a child with disabilities. Say it loudly enough that other people hear. Everyone will know what they are being hold off about and hopefully they will feel ashamed. It would have to be you rather than your husband by the sound of it.

I don’t think they mean the OP is being unreasonable, more that there isn’t much to be done. I don’t quite agree,

I’m sorry this is happening to you.

We were abroad a few years back in a cafe. There were 2 English woman in their 70s a couple of tables away when a very tall, (probably 7 feet+) black hawker walked past. The ridicule these woman made of this man was unbelievable. My DH hung onto my hand because he could see the smoke coming out of my nostrils! As we stood up to leave he had to let go and so I walked up to their table and said in a loud voice, ‘that gentleman may look like a freak (their word)to you but he is not as ugly as the pair of you. He can’t do anything about his size but you can do something about your unkindness and poor attitude, but I suspect you won’t’. People at other tables turned to see what was going on, DH was probably thinking not again, we left with people looking over at these women. Thing is our GS suffers from dwarfism and has had to put up with sniggers, jokes and downright unkindness. Every time I have called someone out never have they had the ba*lls to say anything.

When it happens again tell your DH to take your son somewhere else and then confront these two women, you are likely to find they won’t know what to say and others will side with you. But you have to do it as it’s happening or it loses its impact.

I totally agree. I have a severely autistic non verbal daughter. It’s hard enough managing everything without being told to sweat aggressively back at people who are ignorant enough to laugh and mock. Big sympathies op I have sadly experienced this many times

I just can't get my head around why anyone would think this was funny.

I was agreeing with another poster sorry if my reply makes no sense 😬

I'm so sorry that people are so vile 🥺🥺

How many children do you have OP?

They’re disgusting people OP, I’m so sorry your family are having to deal with this crap.

Please keep your focus on your lovely family and enjoy your holiday xxxx