People laughing at my disabled son

[Jennybeans401]

My ds has physical and mental disabilities. We are currently on holiday and I've been feeling upset today as several people have imitated/mocked him (not to his face but laughing in couples behind his back). They have also done this in front of me knowing I'm his mother.

It's made my family feel uncomfortable and I've been thinking should I speak to the hotel about it? We have worked hard to have a nice hiday and didn't expect the guests to be like this.

I love this story....looks like for him, being a cunt came before a fall

@Oldcottoneye

Well yeah

Who has said they have superior genes?

I can see how you wouldn't want to draw your sons attention to it if he hasn't noticed most of it

Maybe the hard stare while giving the wanker gesture like a pp said

I have a ds with asd so understand how you are feeling. People can be fucking horrible

I'm truly not a violent person and I don't advocate it but some people are so beyond reason, nothing but a smack in the mouth will teach them.

I really hope that guy hurt himself when he landed!

It does seem to be a French thing especially. See this thread which is basically about the same thing; www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4616364-crying-over-french-attitude-to-my-autistic-son?page=6&reply=119505305

OP I would have your DH take your son back into the room then I would go after them and explain he has a disability, you are doing the best you can and he is a human being and does not deserve to be mocked.

You implied it by saying this:

In many European countries it's not that common at all for children to have disabilities,

I gave two of them a very hard stare earlier and they left, I don't want to be drawn into a battle with the hard faced ones. I appreciate the support from everyone and I'm making the most of our time here together. Ds has had a lovely time today, I've also got some good ways of tackling this nasty behaviour now.

I had no idea that people abroad could be intolerant to disabilities. We haven't been on holiday for a long time.

It's as common as anywhere else except they abort babies with disabilities whereas we don't in general do it here.
I lived on the continent for over a year and in all that time, I saw one beautiful little tanned boy with Down Syndrome. I asked my then boyfriend why it was so rare and he explained about the abortion thing and shame on the family and such. It was crazy.

I get this with my son and daughter. Usually when we're away as we live in a close knit community. I know children are just curious but to have that behaviour from adults is disgusting. I usually look them in the eye makes them feel really uncomfortable and is often more powerful than saying anything to them. Sometimes get an apology.

God, that's disgusting. There are certain things you just don't do. Even a child knows that you don't bully someone with a disability.

I’m so sorry. I bet someone here can give you the equivalent of ‘Were you dragged up?’ which I’d be tempted to use if a hard stare doesn’t work.

@Oldcottoneye

I didn't imply anything of the sort.

It's quite a known thing about the higher abortion rates for pregnancies with a risk of disability in many European countries.

And those who are sent 'away' unfortunately

So it's factual to say they don't have as many disabled children. As they don't.

People are strange about things they're unfamiliar with. I suppose the bigger thing to do is to try to make allowances for their misunderstanding though I would find it hard.

What harm is the little boy doing to them? At every stage in life, even with a perfectly 'normal' child, you're going to face idiots who criticise or laugh at your child and pain is like a knife in your stomach.

Try to keep him away from those people as they're not going to educated.

Really sorry OP. Could you have a bit of A4 paper in your bag with something like ‘how would you feel if you were me looking at you?’ that you could flash at them without your son seeing?

They do, you just don't see them.

I have 2 children with complex needs and one looks quite abnormal and has severe autism so prone to meltdowns and shouting.
We are 15 years in now so I have long ago perfected the death stare over the top of my glasses. People can be so unbelievably rude and it is horrible being stared at when all you want to do is go about your day in peace.
I am shocked at how blatant it seems to be in France after seeing these recent threads. I wouldn't have expected that tbh.
I often reflect that if these people had to endure a fraction of the difficulties these children do on a daily basis they would have nothing but admiration for them.
Sorry you are dealing with such people on your holidays. Try not to
dwell on it too much xxx

This is terrible!!! I am absolutely shocked that grown adults would behave this way.

I would understand a small child asking questions (and expect the parents of said child to speak to them), but this is awful

@Oldcottoneye

Most are aborted

So nothing to see

You've really got a bee in your bonnet over this

In a supposedly liberal, forward thinking and inclusive community to have people behaving like this just beggars belief.

You can also bet these starers were bullies in their childhood, and never grew out of it as adults. Which is why it's so important to have anti-bullying programmes in school. In the country I'm in we have a Bullying, NO WAY! day, where the kids wear orange shirts and are educated about the affects of bullying. It's an all year round thing, but there is also this special day per year set aside.

Nobody needs to resort to violence and punch ups. It's much easier than that....you just need to speak up defending your son when they are mocking him. Something like " Are you making fun of my son for being disabled?" should do. There are nasty people in this world, of all nationalities, who are cowards when confronted directly and to their faces. It's the only way to deal with them.

I suppose that it's important to attempt to understand their perspective. They will not be accustomed to disabled people and in some countries it is very much viewed as something shameful. I know that is not helpful to you, but that is how disabilities are viewed. The concept of the Spartans or the Aryan race aren't really dead to be honest. The Catholic Church too has an horrific history with children with disabilities and the mothers who were deemed responsible for producing them! Jesus it's awful.

If you don’t want to upset your son just ask them very politely oh what is so funny? Can you explain to my son he loves a joke. Hopefully will make them pretty uncomfortable.

Some people are basically just aresholes. I’m so sorry OP, this should never happen. There will be more people disgusted with their behaviour than being ok with it x

Unfortunately in some countries it's not rude to stare and also disabled people are still mostly hidden away. I remember a couple in france told me I was brave taking my autistic dd to a camp site (she wasn't misbehaving) and French people wouldn't they stay at home, very sad