People laughing at my disabled son

[Jennybeans401]

My ds has physical and mental disabilities. We are currently on holiday and I've been feeling upset today as several people have imitated/mocked him (not to his face but laughing in couples behind his back). They have also done this in front of me knowing I'm his mother.

It's made my family feel uncomfortable and I've been thinking should I speak to the hotel about it? We have worked hard to have a nice hiday and didn't expect the guests to be like this.

I do wish that people wouldn’t tell off posters for not kicking off at people. Because whilst the nasty twats would deserve it, most children would find that excruciating, and they are experiencing enough embarrassment without their mum making a foul mouthed rant at some ignorant arses who probably don’t speak her language.

Also it’s not easy for everyone to just go apeshit at the drop of a hat

You and your Dh need to say something. You’re condoning this behaviour by doing nothing, stick up for your son!

How dare they?? I'd challenge every single one of them.

what horrible disgusting pathetic people they are

where is the empathy? I feel so angry and upset for you. Agree with others straightforward asking them what is so funny

I’m glad to read your ds is having a lovely holiday you and your dh deserve to as well i hope things change if one person is embarrassed other will hopefully notice

If you call them out in front of your ds is it going to be more apparent to him - I'd like to punch them personally but you won't change les imbeciles and you don't want to draw their appalling behaviour to the attention of your ds. Perhaps you could direct his attention elsewhere while your dh has a 'quiet word'?

Feel for you but try to ignore it they are just morons
The important thing is that your lad has a loving family

This is a good point

The fact your son has realised this means you should really be doing more, as otherwise it could look like you're accepting it and not defending him.

Most parents have a bit of mumma bear inside them do they not? Find that anger and let rip

Or speak to the hotel and get them to do something

There's a fine line between "the holiday where mum stuck up for me", and "the holiday where mum kicked off on the hour every hour". Confronting people may be more stressful for OP and her son than ignoring. Not everyone finds it easy to confront strangers, even when they're wholly in the right.

Either you or DH need to distract DS while the other one confronts the horrible people who are doing this. (Tactfully and politely so as not to upset DS) but tell them in no uncertain terms that you think they are rude, ignorant and insensitive.

Hotel staff/rep can't do much about this.

As another poster mentioned I would love to rip the heads off these people but ds is so happy and has not noticed most of the nastiness. I worry if I confront them I will lose it and it will be worse for him.

These people really are hard faced, I imagine they will just laugh at me if I get angry with them. Judging by the sniggering they really don't give a crap.

I have a hard stare too. And my DS has a loud voice and has asked me why someone is staring (in the UK, and fortunately it doesn't happen often. ). My equally loud reply is that I have no idea but that they are very rude.

But if it's hotel staff who are acting like this, the complain; but I am.nkt sure you can complain to the hotel about other guests.

Then you need to speak to the hotel and ask them to do something

If they don't complain, complain, complain

I've had to do it a few times and most hotels don't like the idea of guests being made uncomfortable by others. Especially when that uncomfortable is bullying over a disability!

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that ignorance. I agree with @LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet it is the hotel's problem. If other guests were being homophobic or sexist - or even just too loud - you'd ask the hotel to sort it out.

"Why are you accepting the crap your son has received without telling the people mocking him to fuck off? Complaining to the hotel is pointless, hotels can't control how people interact with each other unless violence involved, in which case they call the police.

Find your anger and be a strong advocate for your son. Giving hard stares is not enough with people who make fun of a disabled person. You need to speak up, loud and clear, to the people laughing at your son"

This. In spades

And also teach you son. About the world. About nasty people. And how he should speak up if this happens. Give him the tools to stand up for himself. Raise him strong. People aren't gonna change. So he needs to learn to stand tall.

Pretty sure fuck Off cunt is understood in most languages. I’d mutter that to them ensuring some doesn’t hear

If dh is involved he will likely punch these people if we confront them and they laugh back at them. He's not violent and never would normally behave that way but he's very upset about it.

Sorry that they're being so horrible! I would try complaining to the hotel staff. While they might not be able to do anything about e.g. people staring, active mockery should be another matter.

And you should also tell the offenders to leave your son alone,

I’d tell them they’re ugly inside & out through choice, & to never forget that when ever they look through a mirror.

I'm raging on your behalf. I have a disabled sibling who used to get stared at when we were kids. My dad would often tell them "It's £1 a look", which would normally embarrass them enough to stop.

If you know they're French or German I'd be tempted to learn a couple of choice words in their language that your DS doesn't understand.

I'm sure google can translate "do you have to be such a cunt?" (and that is not a word I ever, ever, say out loud)

This is exactly why you need to speak to the hotel

As they won't want tensions escalating to violence

"Tay toi" is shut up phonetically in French. I think you need to practice out your new french lingo on the rude people.

Actually it might be the best thing just to have a chat with these folks and to ask them, “Do you know the difficulties of living with a disabled child?” Then say, “I’m sorry if his behaviour disturbs you but we do our best.” We too have disabled kids in the family and people haven’t a clue what it takes to live with them. But a non-aggressive approach might work best, even if you do feel like busting their heads off!

I'd strangle them!!!!!

What sort of idiots are they? Start imitating them. The cunts.

I may getting ripped to shreds for this but this used to happen to us. It doesn’t now that we stick to mainly UK/US holidays.

I don’t know if it is acceptable to behave this way towards disabled people in some cultures, or if we were just very unlucky, but we haven’t had anything happen since avoiding mainland European holidays.

Adults can be so fucking nasty. And for what???

OP, these vile bullies are probably so insecure about themselves and incredibly unhappy so they feel the need to make themselves feel better by imitating and laughing at a disabled child.

I can guarantee your DS will have more compassion and dignity in his little toe than what these idiots have in their whole bodies.

Easier said than done, but ignore them. Your son won’t be first person they mock and he won’t be the last. Don’t let these people get to you. Don’t give them the satisfaction. These people clearly don’t care about you or respect you and your family so why waste your energy and emotions on them?

The next time they do it, smile and wave. Show them they don’t matter to you. And concentrate on having the best time away with your son.