to think you shouldn't phone a family with three small children between six and say 7.30 pm?

[emkana]

I have a few friends who always ring around this time, when I'm in the middle of eating dinner/bath time/reading stories etc

Two of these friends have children themselves so should know better surely?
One friend is childless but I tell her EVERY TIME "oh can I call you back I'm in the middle of xyz" and she still doesn't get it after SEVEN YEARS

Just leave answerphone on. It is my biggest bugbear people calling at this time. I just don't answer. They have mostly got the message by now!

unplug the phone at the wall. they can ring back

My own mother still does this, EVERY time she rings. I don't answer the phone any more, then very pointedly ring her back after 8pm and say 'I was putting the dcs to bed when you rang before like I am at 6pm every night.

It drives me INSANE!

So no, YANBU.

I wouldnt have had a clue about bath and bed time routines before I had kids to be honest. Even when DS was little and not in a routine it probably wouldnt have occurred to me!
These days we do have more of a routine, but are very flexible depending on when DH gets home from work, what time we've napped or what we've been doing all day, so still not in a fixed routine as such.
I'd say YAB a little bit U to expect people to know your routine and the times to avoid etc without spelling it out.
If on the other hand, you have said to these friends before 'do you mind calling before 6 or after about half 7 in future as I'm always tied up then?' and they still do, then I'd say YANBU!

It doesn't get better as they get older, it's still never the right time. Leave answerphone on all the time.

Also why do my dcs always NEED to tell me something as soon as I am on the phone.

If they are just phoning for a chat then YANBU. But actually it is hard to pin down people after school: immediately after school people are at the park or activities, then it is reading, tea, bath and bedtime. And of course some children go to bed later than others. And often in the UK we have an aversion to phoning people after about 9-9:30pm. If we have to take account of everyone's agenda then we would rarely make phone calls at all.

Not unreasonable to phone them, but probably unreasonable to expect them to chat for longer than a moment !

Actually our 4th child was a terrible sleepr and I used to dread anyone ringing AFTER about 7.30 as it was likely to wake him. Not really feasible to tell people not to ring at all after that time, nor to unplug all the phones, but i did unplug the one nearest his room. He's 4 now and seems to be better at settling himself if disturbed.

But I agree it's maddening when some of the people who do this are parents of young ones themselves (or your own mother)

Not unreasonable to phone them, but probably unreasonable to expect them to chat for longer than a moment !

Actually our 4th child was a terrible sleepr and I used to dread anyone ringing AFTER about 7.30 as it was likely to wake him. Not really feasible to tell people not to ring at all after that time, nor to unplug all the phones, but i did unplug the one nearest his room. He's 4 now and seems to be better at settling himself if disturbed.

But I agree it's maddening when some of the people who do this are parents of young ones themselves (or your own mother)

YANBU, I get this too, and just ignore it now.

Even more annoying is friends who 'pop' in for a chat coz they where passing, and then wonder why I can't sit down and have a chat and cup of tea! I tell everyone not to come over between 5:30 and 7:30 unless they are going to get fully involved in feeding and bedtime or do the washing up while I get DS to bed.

Had an ex who liked popping in at 6pm after work and got stroppy because I seemed 'stressed' and 'pre-occupied'! You don't say

I dont get annoyed - as MrsDandOllie says, people have different times.
I just dont answer the phone & then pick uip the msg when I AM ready & phone back.

If it is inconvenient I ignore the phone and then dial 1571. 'Inconvenient' can mean 'reading to dd' and it can also mean 'watching E.R.'

I just ignore it tbh if they call at bedtime.

Though I guess they should think about it really, for eg I would never call a childless person before midday at a weekend (which is rather assuming everyone is as lazy as I was BC )

I do answer the phone because I am too nosey but therefore am not allowed to get annoyed by people phoning. (but it does annoy me!)

Yanbu. My mother in law always rings at 6pm, even though she knows we get home about 5.55 and are starting tea, feeding dog etc etc. I have asked her loads of times to phone later, but she just says "well my TV programmes are on then".

When dd was a babe and hubby was away alot, she would do it everynight. 6pm was bath and bottle time. In the end I resorted to unplugging the phone when I was giving dd her bath and bottle.

dont answer it!!!

my ds has 4 children, cant call 8.30 till 9.30 school run
no calls after that, house work till 1pm
shopping till 3pm
school run again till 4pm, then tea then bath ets by 9pm shes knackered.

how do i keep in touch?
or perhaps she doesnt like me anymore?

I have one child, and used to tell everybody not to phone until gone eight.
I think it was my sister who called at the wrong time and I growled "you just woke her up"
Now nobody phones me

I can still talk to people if they ring then, I just may be doing other things too. I don't see the problem.

i don't pick it up during these times.

i don't pick it up during these times.

People may ring at meal times if they think just the children are eating, i.e they are at the table occupied so you can talk.

I certainly don't expect ppl to have my routine pinned up on the wall so they can check if they can ring. If it isn't convenient it hardly takes 30 seconds to arrange they/you can ring back later or you can screen calls though an answer-machine.

Before I started to ignore the 'phone, I always found it was my parents or dp's parents who would call at mealtime/bedtime. The problem was that it was difficult to make the point that it was inconvenient as they would launch forth into what they wanted to say and I would have to interrupt to point out that I couldn't chat. Always made to feel rude. They NEVER checked whether it was convenient to chat when you would think they might have some memory of child-rearing. I have an elderly aunt who has never had children who always asks whether it is ok to chat. Likewise , all my friends check , as do I when I call them. I really think that parents are the worst offenders as they somehow think their timetables are more important and that you ( as their child) should defer to them. Deep down, it is a minor power-struggle and manipulative behavior.