To think slow eaters should try to eat faster?

[Soffana]

Well, not the world's most pressing issue but here it goes...

AIBU to think slow eaters should try to eat in a pace that suits the company?

For example at work we are a group of colleagues who eat together at lunch (school's lunch room so not a very pleasant environment). Some of us eat a lot and quite fast, some a bit slower and of course that is fine. I would say we eat, talk and finish within 15-20 minutes.

We now have a new colleague who naturally is a part of our team. She is super slow. She takes the tiniest portion and picks in it forever. She takes one bite and then put the cutlery down and talks. When we are all finished and waiting for her she doesn't really eat, just engaging in the conversation with half her food left. Then taking a small bite, putting fork down and talk. We all have to wait for her and she doesn't seem to care or try to speed up.

What do you all think? Of course we can't do anything, we are not going to tell her but AIBU that she could read the room?

Why do you have to wait? There's no obligation on you to lurk if you're done and have things to do.

Just get up, say cheerio and leave.

YABU. I know a woman that had anorexia and she would take a very long time to eat anything.

What difference does it make to you? It's not a formal dinner. If you have something else you need to do, just excuse yourself and get on with it.

I am a slow eater. I am fully aware that others finish eating before me. If I tried to eat faster, I wouldn't enjoy my meal.

Nah I'm fat and eat slow. My DH is fat and inhales his food.

Most health professionals would advise people to eat slower not faster. It's better for your digestion and allows the signals to reach your brain to tell you are full, preventing overeating.
My DH almost inhales his food and it drives me mad. Why not slow down and actually enjoy your food and make it last longer!
I'm a slow eater and I physically can't eat faster or I feel sick and don't like putting huge amounts of food in my mouth at once. It's far easier for someone to slow down than speed up when eating.

You are being horrible, a lot of people eat slowly because they aren’t super confident at eating around new people. I eat slowly sometimes because I have a history of eating disorders and sometimes it’s hard to eat quickly in front of people in public. I also chew all my food properly as I used to just wolf it down and puke it up.

Eating is such a personal thing, why don’t you slow down. Rude.

I used to shovel my food down but now I've had a gastric band I cannot eat fast or I am violently sick. I am horrifically slow.
If I am in a situation where I am eating with people who can't wait for me to hurry up I just choose soup or something sloppy.

I think it's actually better - certainly eating slower is better for weight maintenance or loss.

Way I've heard it explained - no idea if actually scientific - is that stomach takes time to realise it's full so slower eating more time body had to realise.

www.uchicagomedicine.org/forefront/weight-management-articles/eating-slower-may-help-with-weight-loss#:~:text=The%20researchers%20found%20that%20slow,less%20likely%20to%20be%20overweight.

www.healthline.com/nutrition/eating-slowly-and-weight-loss#eating-slowly

But MIL once tool 27 minutes to eat a very small chocolate biscuit and I did find that really annoying - it had lots of gasps about how good it was and lots of fussing and it was very performative and thus annoying.

This may be deliberate on her part to slow her eating down - and thus your only option may be to leave if you have things to do afterwards.

Is 20 minutes fast?

I don't think you should make a deal of it or pressure her to eat differently/faster because, to be quite frank, she sounds as though she has an eating disorder.

Getting a teeny tiny portion and then picking at it for ages is not how healthy people eat.

It's not that she's eating slowly though, it's that she's stopping to talk after every bite....

We all have to wait for her and she doesn't seem to care or try to speed up.

You don’t though, you are colleagues eating together out of convenience, not friends out for a fancy meal. When you are done eating just go about the rest of your day.

I also don't understand why you wait for her?

Based on how you described it, it sounds like she has an eating disorder. Not sure if that was intentional but phrases like "picking" at a "tiny portion" is not typical of slow eaters. It's typical of someone with a very difficult relationship with food and trying to force themselves to eat.

A typical slow eater with hunger will eat with enthusiasm and not put down the cutlery between bites. However they'll take longer chewing and swallowing so the average time till the meal is done gets stretched out. Slow eaters who are aware of this will try to order foods that are faster to eat (eg risotto/lasagne instead of steak) or avoid talking too much during the meal.

I agree with this.

DH is overweight and a fast eater, like people notice fast. I'm a slower eater and was never forced to finish portions, I'm slim. DH is very aware he eats to fast, and it does contribute to weight gain because you're stuffing yourself faster than your brain can compute you're full.

Which is why I think it may be a deliberate strategy to slow down her eating.

You should all slow down a bit and she should say oh don't wait for me if she's still not finished and you have

There’s some research suggesting that in restaurants playing fast music speeds people up.

If I was rude I would say something, but I don't so I don't think I am rude.

On the contrary I am sitting forever very politely listening to her talking while she is not eating.

So her eating isn't the problem.

Her talking is.

Which doesn't stop any of you eating your own meals in 15-20mins.

Or getting up and leaving because you have things to do.

Maybe she doesn’t actually want a group of colleagues looking at her as she’s eating and would prefer for you to just all leave her to it.

If you were at a dinner party or social gathering, it'd be rude to leave the table before everyone is finished, but you're at work. Why not just get up and get on with your day?

And yes, it's very annoying! 😂

As a slow eater you’re being terribly unreasonable. I have no intentions of getting indigestion for anyone else. And tbh is probably prefer you finish your food and leave me alone in peace to eat anyway.

Understand you dont want to be rude but you can leave politely too. When you are ready to leave just say so. "Lovely seeing you all i have to go now. See you tom"