To find it strange how people think they own a seat after they sat in it once?

[Anon778833]

Obviously I’m talking about seats in public places, not in homes etc.

I have literally seen people almost come to blows because someone else was sitting in ‘their’ seat.

A lot of people seem to feel if they sat somewhere once, they own the seat. I think it’s childish and not reasonable at all!

But the blow ups I’ve seen happen make me think there must be something primal behind it.

It's biological. One of the keys to our survival success is the ability to spot patterns and prefer to repeat them.

This makes us:

a) susceptible to seeing patterns where there are none really, such as thinking it always rains when we wear our red socks
b) faling into patterned behaviour, often without realising it - such as it not feeling quite "right" to sit in a different seat once we've sat in the same one a few times

DH and I once went into a cafe . No one else there, sat at the window and ordered coffee etc . Suddenly this couple appeared and sat at the same table ! For a moment I wondered if we knew them but no . They always sat there !
Every other table was empty !

I loved the unwritten allocated seating on the commuter trains. Doesn't happen so much now that lots of people are hybrid working. I used to sit somewhere different every day on purpose just to see who got the most huffy. Once a man got halfway through sitting down on my lap before realising someone was in "his" seat!

Also have come across the thing where people have "their spot" on the platform.

Hot desking is great for this too, seeing who sits where and who gets annoyed with who. In my office there are three people who are variously irritating to sit near - one chats to himself all day, one is very loud and one drums the desk and sighs all day. They all have their preferred desks. They all get wound up by each other's noisy habits. None of them will choose another desk in our massive and under occupied office so they sit next to each other and wind each other up. They complain bitterly about one another. It's quite hilarious!

I have "my desk" too, and it's become "Doorhandle's desk" even though I'm not there very often. I have an actual reason for it tho related to a disability, but no one really knows this. Human nature is a curious thing.

Oh dear, did you get out of bed the wrong side this morning dear, or maybe someone was in your place.

Sunbeds!!! All I have to say 😆

I go to a body pump class that is followed by a Zumba class. Long before Zumba starts, and the second that bodypump finishes, the participants flood into the class to claim ‘their’ spot. Which results, ridiculously, in them pretty much standing on top of me whilst I take apart the weights, wipe them down, wipe down the bench etc. before putting the equipment away. So much so that I have to ask them to move so that I can get to the weight rack and move the bench and the risers back to where they are stored.

Why? I get that people are territorial etc etc but they are at risk of being bashed by a barbel. It’s not going to make me go any faster, either.

I know that this is mainly about desks and seats. However, people used to love my mug at my old office. It had my first name AND surname on it!! I once found it in an office with day old cold coffee that some skank had left in it. I only found it because one of the IT guys saw the offender with it the previous day. We had shit loads of visitor mugs too. I’m still fuming three years later 😆 😆 not really. Well maybe just a little bit.

Sorry that was me! But I’m afraid I like that spot now so I’m staking my claim on it 😁

Ooh this reminds me off when I took my kids to a quiet cafe for a treat. We went upstairs and sat on two sofas in the eaves (in an L shape). We chose that as the roof sloped and it was a bit awkward for an adult to stand into but was fine for two primary school children. We had a load of cakes and drinks on the table and were chilling out reading our books and chatting.
After about half an hour a woman came up the stairs, looked at us then squeezed onto the sofa next to my DD.
The REST OF THE ROOM was empty. About 15 or more tables and sofas free!!

My kids and I just looked at each other then carried on reading.
Then another woman came up with a tray of food and stared at her friend squeezed onto a sofa next to a child and books and tucked under the eaves and ... more importantly, no space for another person(her) to sit.
Tray lady said through gritted teeth "what are you sitting there for?"
Squished lady "We ALWAYS sit here"
Tray lady "move!" plus eye roll .... squished lady muttered and shuffled out to another sofa in the still empty cafe.

I used to walk through a carpark enroute to school, the same cars in the same spots every day.

People are creatures of habit!

The best conferences are the ones where the people running them make people sit in different places all the time, particularly if they are having small discussion groups and exercises. It's hopeless if the same people stick with their mates the entire time.

This. I'm one of those ones that the vicar has just commented on for having 'their' pew. I actually get to church earlier than everyone else so that I get my pew because I know that if I didn't it would throw me completely and I'd probably just give up and go home. It's crap being autistic.

Ooh, I had that with my Special Big Mug that I bought in to the office because I like a large cup of tea or coffee. The one that really annoyed me was the person who only had one drink at the beginning of the day out of it so that it sat there festering uselessly for the rest of the day, but no-one else could take it off him. Eventually I became petty enough to hide it in my desk every evening so no-one could nick it 😟

And you sound very rude. I know which is worse.

I teach exercise classes and some of the regulars are very territorial about their usual spot in the room. All the other regulars know so they wouldn’t dream of occupying that spot but newcomers obviously don’t know so sometimes unwittingly take a regular’s favourite spot. I obviously let them crack on and enjoy the ensuing discomfort and side eyeing 😂

* Ooh, I had that with my Special Big Mug that I bought in to the office because I like a large cup of tea or coffee.

But that literally was your mug, I don't see how it's petty for you to keep it for your use. The other guy could have brought in his own to fill and fester.

I once went to a Pilates class, arrived with 10 min to spare and couldn’t actually get in the door of the room because someone had setup in front of the door when there was lots of other space. I tried to get someone’s attention so I could try to get in to the room and actually failed to get into the class. So I gave up and went home. Guess that person just liked that space 🤷‍♀️

Why didn’t you ask her to move so you could get in the room?

I occasionally get the bus into town and always get at least one old lady boarding the bus after me, pausing to give me a disapproving look before finding a seat, then continuing to look very sour the whole ride and keep glancing at me.

Now I know why!😂

Yes this is important, but I see OP hasn't clarified.

Both scenarios are ridiculous but I think if it's clear eg you're in a waiting room and the person clearly goes into the toilet then it's a bit dickish to take it and act like you thought they'd left

And if you win in someone's seat in bingo god help you! Especially with table top bingo.

I get very unyogic if someone takes my mat in my class 😬

I hate it when people sit in all the comfy seats in Neros. They are all mine

One Christmas time, I was working in a craft shop. It was just before Christmas and we were working the last day before we closed for the break and it was really quiet. We planned a sort of all afternoon party in the back - there were 8 of us working, the table in the back only had 4 chairs so the shop owner said to take staggered half hour breaks turn and turn about so there was always four people on break and 4 working (but not always the same 4 iyswim)

I get called for my break so I go to sit down in the only empty seat and I'm told "E is sitting there" - E had just finished her break and gone back to work. I pointed out that it was the only seat and the woman that told me left the room. Next thing E is back with her and standing behind the seat I'm sitting on! She tapped me on the shoulder and said "that's my seat" I had a mouthful of food so while I'm chewing (it always takes longer than you think!) the owner reminded her that there's only 4 seats and that we're all taking extended breaks and E said "We'll Ooglymoogly should go back to work then!"

The look that E was given would have frozen Hell over. She suddenly left the room. Sadly that was the start of E's not so subtle bullying of me and in the end I left.

Yes. Mortifying when a not very nice member of the congregation stated shouting at a lady with a walker/ mobility issues, because she's sat in the wrong seat.