To find it strange how people think they own a seat after they sat in it once?

[Anon778833]

Obviously I’m talking about seats in public places, not in homes etc.

I have literally seen people almost come to blows because someone else was sitting in ‘their’ seat.

A lot of people seem to feel if they sat somewhere once, they own the seat. I think it’s childish and not reasonable at all!

But the blow ups I’ve seen happen make me think there must be something primal behind it.

If it's two day training somewhere, I like to keep the same seat. I wouldn't say anything, but I'd silently judge them for not sensing they'd stolen my chair 🤣. I just feel more settled if I keep using the same space

Yep, cafe many free tables I was sat down a woman leaning toward the table with fingers on the table asked me to move as she always sat there.....er nope butI was admonished by some posters who thought I was mean for not moving.

But the blow ups I’ve seen happen make me think there must be something primal behind it.

My psychology degree. A brilliant lecturer on her second lecture said, "those of you sitting in the same seat as last week now feel that's 'your' seat. Why? It is a human feeling, observed in many situations. That's normal psychology, most of what we will study here". Then went on to say we all thought we were there to study abnormal psychology, which we were .

But yes, recognised human trait.

It irks me when people try take ownership of something , it's so entitled.
We must all go out of our way to force the extremely possessive people out of their silly behaviour.
If there is a seat sit in it I say

Except there are benefits to it.

I find it strange how many people get possessive over their desks at work, and upset if anyone has used said desk on their day off.

It is NOT your desk, it does NOT belong to you, it belongs to your employer, please get over it!

"Fuck off you flabby cunt!"

😂

This happens on the bus we regularly take. No huffing though, but there are various older regulars for whom we give up our seats when they come on. Tbf, I would hate to be the cause of an accident because the bus pulls away suddenly when they're still standing around looking baffled at finding someone in 'their' spot. Easier just to move with a smile.

My then 3yo DC always used to huff when a visitor to our home sat in their favourite arm chair. I've finally got DC to understand that visitors come before children in the hierarchy of seats so DC will now make a big deal of magnanimously offering their spot to the adult guest and scooting into my spot and refusing to move while I'm fetching hot drinks. DC can be dislodged, however, by placing biscuits on a table that is not within arm's length.

Hate when people do this. I want to experience every possible view of the room. I get bored being in the same place each time. I hated when classmates would always sit in the same seat when they didn’t have to.

One of the most pathetic things I’ve ever witnessed was when a man in his 50s came up to teenage me in the work cafeteria and said in my ear that I was “in his seat”. When I looked up his table were staring at me. I just continued reading my book. They even made a point to get there early from them on.

Can’t help but feel that people who care about these things can’t have much else going on in their life.

We don't even have particular seats at home in the dining room or living room. But we move house often which tends to quash nesting habits.

Just one of the many things that is no longer an issue when you take your own chair everywhere you go.

At conferences, my 'spot' is in fact, my spot, it will have a reserved card on it as its usually a table even if the rest of the room doesn't have tables.

Someone once attempted to take our table at a conference, two person table, sited exactly as we needed it with easy access to the exit door, but near the front so we could hear/see well... Ohhhhhhhh the OUTRAGE, they thought they'd won some sort of prize in getting this awesome table... and were absolutely horrified to be told to shift (and we intentionally waited until all the potentially 'nearly as good' tables were taken too so there was only a crap one at the back left)...

I dunno what they were thinking, it was very clearly set up for us specially, they'd seen us sat there, could reasonably be expected to spot WHY it was for us... and thought they'd nab it anyway!

At all the conferences I have been to though, there does seem to be a significant majority that sits in the same place each day/each session... I can see how drama can be caused if that were interfered with!

I went to yoga at local gym. Nice and calm you’d think? No. I had obviously taken some grumpy old git’s place. The glares, the huffing and puffing! It was hilarious and pathetic in equal measures.

When I started teaching I was shown the staff room "don't sit in that seat it belongs to ........"

I had the same thing happen when I started teaching! It was in a different country so maybe it’s universal! 🙄

We are territorial animals.
its really interesting to me how many of our behaviours you can strip right back and realise they are nothing more than basic behaviours seen in many animal species.

My cat does this. To me. She's obsessed with immediately taking my spot in my chair (whichever one it is) when I get up. When I try to remove her, she gets quite territorial and testy about it.

My dog does this. E-v-e-r-y time I get up.

And then looks at me as if to say ‘and what?’ when I look at her like ‘WTF, dog?’

Coach trips are by far the worst for this in my experience. On one tour the leader used to make everyone move seats round the coach every day. Did create a bit of an atmosphere.

I felt this way on my commute, I usually did have the same seat as I got on the train in the same place and preferred a seat with no other seat in front so I could stretch my legs out. I would not ever say anything if someone was in there from the previous stop (unusual occurence) but definitely liked to get my customary seat. Same in the threatre, there are seats I prefer.

It is not unusual to feel this way, it is unusual to get aggressive about it.

Well yes, families did used to own pews in church, particularly if they were ricj or local landlord.

My parents went on a holiday involving coach trips and they were all told to move back two each time so everyone got a change of scenery- caused absolute chaos 😄

I just don't understand how people have the nerve to say anything or ask people to move. If your favourite seat is vacant then happy days, if not then suck it up.

My DS is like this - he likes to sit at “his” seat in the coffee shop and if someone else is already there will hop onto their lap if I’m not quick enough! In fairness he is profoundly autistic with significant SEN.

I have my seat at home. My knitting etc is either side of the seat and I bought the chair because it’s wide enough to sit cross legged And not bash my elbows on the arms when knitting or sewing. Totally my seat.

No I don't get this either but it is effective and they almost always get what they want if they do ask so maybe my politeness is the less sensible option!