Re children in restaurant

[Arbesque]

Four of us booked a table in an expensive restaurant last night for 7.30.
About 10 minutes after we'd sat down a couple came in pushing a buggy and with 2 other children in tow. They were seated at the table beside us.
One child kept bashing his spoon off the table, another kept crawling along the wide windowsill so that he was right behind my head, and the baby was kept amused by the father playing peek a boo while she screamed excitedly. This went on and on.

We asked to be moved to another table. There were none available.Then the baby started crying loudly and the toddler got tired and cranky and joined the wailing.

We left without dessert and complained on the way out. They knocked the price of a bottle of wine off our bill.

AIBU to think expensive restaurants, charging a fortune, should have a policy for dealing with situations like this?

We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn't enjoy.

Which seems to be a particular problem with British and Irish parents who then look around at well behaved children on the continent and fail to notice the difference between them and their own children. Believe me, the natives of those countries do

She was probably in bed by 7.30 as a small child.
Unless it's a very hot country, I don't understand what the children were doing up at that time.

A family restaurant is exactly that just a family restaurant ! Clearly was not a adults only restaurant so it’s your failure here . You assume money equally being child free ( no idea why ) .
Once more it’s a cultural thing . I’m currently on holiday in Cyprus just came out of a very posh and expensive seafood and fish restaurant and kids where all playing around , mine even joined in . Nobody cared if the kids came to the table and nobody cared when a baby started crying .
by all means prefer to dinner without children but do not get offended by others saying the truth

I’m just not batshit enough to be wound up over the existence of a child crawling behind me and another one playing peekaboo 😉

Why are half the posters on this thread so hard of thinking that they can’t tell the difference between “peaceful” and “silent”, and “children talking and laughing” and “children screaming and crawling on people’s heads”?

It’s like every thread on shrieking kids - half the posters seem compelled to suggest that kids only have two modes, asleep or feral.

They’re always the ones who insist their kids are perfectly behaved, which seems highly dubious as they themselves seem to have no understanding of what that might look like.

I bet you would love it 😂🤣😂

I wouldn’t want Arlo scrambling behind my head in a fancy restaurant either, certainly not at 7:30pm in the evening.

YANBU, OP.

I’m just not batshit enough to be wound up over the existence of a child crawling behind me

But it clearly winds up most people. You have a much higher tolerance for poor behaviour than most people. It has nothing to do with being batshit

As I said about twelve pages ago, a family restaurant is not for children. It is for everyone. That means adhering to a base level of behaviour. People shouldn’t have to go to “adult restaurants” (which don’t exist where I live, by the way) to avoid having children scream through dinner or climb on them.

It would have annoyed me too - sure children can be loud and unpredictable, but the first rule of eating-out with children is to ensure that they don't interfere with other people's enjoyment of their meal. Especially for dinner (vs. brunch or lunch) and even more so in a nice restaurant.

Jesus parents just can't win ... you put an iPad in-front of children to be quiet and all you get are glares. It sounds like they were actively trying to keep them entertained, I bet they are knackered , and just wanted a nice meal that got ruined ...

It's the same in Spain BUT generally at normally priced restaurants and places with terraces for them to run around. I've been to very few very high end restaurants here where there are small children running about or babies crying. I agree though, once past around 7/8, the U.K. isn't child friendly at all.

I feel your pain OP !
I was in a restaurant one evening , having had a trying day teaching . We’d ordered drinks and were looking at menu.
A group of about 15 noisy screeching 8 year olds came in - birthday party. We drank up and left.
I’ve no problem with kids in restaurants / pubs - but screeching kids ? No thank you !

I just find it really strange how people can be so wound up over the existence of children. This is Mumsnet. For mums. Why do so many mums hate children😂

A child crawling behind them and another one playing with cutlery & doing peekaboo. Jesus. I’d dread to think what these high-end expensive meal goers think of McDonald’s or a Wacky Warehouse.

I'm on your side OP. Small, noisy and ill-behaved children should not be allowed in a Restaurant after 7PM in order to annoy those of us who work hard and want to enjoy some civilised peace in convivial surroundings. If their parents want to eat out late, get a baby-sitter or wait until their 'little darlings' are old enough to behave. I get sick of parents thinking that we all love their little brats! I'd prefer it too if there were Adult-Only flights - but that's another subject wind-up parents 😉

I find it utterly amusing that you think you’re the only one entitled to enjoyment. You were also once a child - no?
There is something wrong in this country when it comes to children and noise. People have become far too intolerant of others generally. I think it’s down to an over all lack of socialisation - or socialising with only a certain mix of people. Regardless, some people ( yourself ) need to be more tolerant of each other. That family was doing nothing wrong. Theyre allowed to go for a meal. Their children are doing nothing wrong. So what they were making some noise ? That is the way in which they communicate. Someone might be offended by the sound of your voice - I’m sure you would take offence.
I think you seem like someone who is intolerant and if you have an issue with children then go to a restaurant where they’re not allowed.
It you do not have children then you may be ignorant as to how difficult it can be for parents to go out and enjoy themselves and with their children.
I think you’re being extremely unreasonable and even though you got your free wine you’re still not happy. You’re going to “ whine” either way by the sounds of it. Get a grip for goodness sake.

It’s always parents of young annoying children that quote how accommodating European are with children kept until late and eating out.

I’ve seen those European children, who’ve probably napped all afternoon and are sitting there with an IPad watching Dora or whatever the foreign cartoons are now.

That's all the op wanted too. It wasn't the op crawling on a windowsill behind the parents of the out of control children or banging her spoon loudly on the table. Maybe parents of the out of control children should have stayed at home, put the kids to bed and got a take out.

Sounds annoying OP but this has reminded me of a visit to a smartish restaurant in Australia (no white tablecloths or anything like that). We were told by the host (after the table left) that a nearby table were complaining about our table because the children were on screens (it was late, they were jetlagged) and at one point my daughter’s braid came undone and I redid it. They complained again because it was unhygienic. Hey?! I was sitting about 15metres away from them. I was completely unaware that these people were so invested in our dinner. The host was a friend so she told me about it after they left.

You're on your own FlissyPaps

Most of us are parents, but expect our children to behave when out, and not crawl behind other diners.

DD is an adult, so I have left that world behind now.

Of course they should but there are places where it is easier to take children and it’s better to take them earlier in the day.

I’d dread to think what these high-end expensive meal goers think of McDonald’s or a Wacky Warehouse.

Personally I wouldn’t go in either. Both are grim. If I really fancy a McD’s I get it to takeaway.

I think the issue with the behaviour that the OP describes is that the crawling baby was in their space. I’d object if a random adult came and stood by my table so not treating children any differently from grown ups.

I’m sorry that you think children crawling and interacting with their parents is seen as misbehaving. That’s really sad.

YABABU - You are being a bit unreasonable. Shit happens, it sounds like they at least made an effort to control and amuse their children when they were at their least reasonable, controllable and amusable. And frankly, you don't "deserve" a better environment if you're paying more - sorry/not sorry.

What I can't abide is parents letting children run amok in a restaurant - THAT is completely unforgiveable, and sadly tolerated. Child falls over/bumps into someone and has a completely avoidable accident and tantrum/screaming fit. I also had a child come and try and steal some food from my plate once, halfway through a meal, and when I blocked her from doing so, the mum went ballistic - "Don't touch my child!". She was on the other side of the restaurant perusing her phone and the child had wandered off.

They shouldn't be asking young Arlo if he wants to come back; he needs to know if his parents tell him to come back, that's what he should do... for example, if he was going to run into the road, he needs to come back when required to do so. I think the time the young family came in to the restaurant was rather late given the age of the children, but perhaps they were celebrating an anniversary? Perhaps if you had got up to leave after your starter, the restaurant would have found somewhere else to seat you... there was no incentive for them to move you once you had ordered. It's a shame you felt your meal was spoiled by a family having a meal nearby, but that's the luck of the draw, unless you book a private room.