Re children in restaurant

[Arbesque]

Four of us booked a table in an expensive restaurant last night for 7.30.
About 10 minutes after we'd sat down a couple came in pushing a buggy and with 2 other children in tow. They were seated at the table beside us.
One child kept bashing his spoon off the table, another kept crawling along the wide windowsill so that he was right behind my head, and the baby was kept amused by the father playing peek a boo while she screamed excitedly. This went on and on.

We asked to be moved to another table. There were none available.Then the baby started crying loudly and the toddler got tired and cranky and joined the wailing.

We left without dessert and complained on the way out. They knocked the price of a bottle of wine off our bill.

AIBU to think expensive restaurants, charging a fortune, should have a policy for dealing with situations like this?

We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn't enjoy.

The windowsill crawler was probably bored and would rather have been in McDonalds.😀

I am with you, we like to take ours out early say 5pm to family places say Pizza Express (no way fancy restaurants), and if they kick up they get taken outside / we go home early and they get a ban to for the next time (we follow this through, only had to do it once as they love going and they behave now)!

I wouldn’t take them at 7:30 as they’d be starving, tired and v grumpy, so we would not get a good night - plus 7:30Pm+ often starts to not be a nice child environment.

For us like many it’s a treat we cannot afford to go very often. So if there is crying young children it can hamper a night out, I don’t mind if the parents deal with it, it’s when they don’t. Yes bawling drunken adults is the same, but I think staff more likely to step in.

We always try to think as we were once, meals out were a treat, and to be aware of your surroundings and be responsible.

How is crawling bothering someone?

If a child that was “practically a baby” was crawling on a ledge behind my head, I’d be worried that it was likely to fall and get hurt, and distracted from my meal/conversation. I literally have no idea why this needs to be explained.

YANBU
A nee pub opened near us and the rule is no kids in the restaurant
I agree there's enough places for kids to go these days
Adults are entitled to a nice meal out without being bothered by other peoples kids!

This. Bloody hell.

"How is crawling the window sill next to a strangers head bothering them?"

The reaching is unreal.

Amen to that I say😎

I can just imagine what the kids of some of these posters are like!

YANBU I have 4 children and have always from a early age taken them out for nice meals /restaurants. The difference is my children know how to behave and would not be allowed to leave the table to run around or miss-behave. I keep them entertained and on the odd occasion my toddler/baby has cried / kicked off I would take them outside to calm them down. Sorry but a lot of parents these days think it’s acceptable to go to a restaurant and let their little darling run amuck without them even saying a word to them. How are children going to learn without direction from their parents. Iam all for children having fun and being children but there is a time and place.

They all without exception say their kids are meticulously well behaved and considered a delight to be around. Same way that when school reports go out every parent friend of mine on facebook has a kid that’s top of the class.

I totally sympathise with you. I’m with you on this. There should be special times that you can take children into a restaurant, or better still no children allowed (not all restaurants) I love children but if they are noisy and can’t behave, don’t wind them up even more by making them sit in a boring, unstimulated restaurant.

This is a cultural and very british thing I think . I visit other countries alike Spain , Portugal , Cyprus , Greece nobody would bat a eyelid at a child crying in a restaurant as people are very family oriented . I think next time you should look for a pub or restaurant that is child free maybe if it bothers you that much . Personally I’m not that self entitled I think I deserve a crying free dinner in a public place

This 👆🏼👆🏼

YANBU. This would drive me insane too.

Did you reserve this expensive dinner place and if you did, why not ask for quiet space. Expensive restaurants do have sections to manage expectations. You should have mentioned it while making the reservation.

Also, did you read the reviews, they often mention the ambience of such places.

Next time don’t book a family friendly place!

I don't think I deserve a crying free dinner in a public place ie a park, a square, a free picnic space.

I do think I and other diners deserve a peaceful meal in a private establishment that is charging us a fortune for the privilege.

DD was born in a southern European country and we took her to restaurants from when she was a baby. However if she started screaming one of us would have taken her out.

I remember once we were sitting in a restaurant which had about 8 tables full. A British family came in with three kids. The kids basically ran around the restaurant getting in people's way and shouting. The parents were completely ignoring them and getting drunk.

We asked to move out to the terrace as did all the other tables in the restaurant.

We regularly ate out and there were always children in the restaurants, often late at night, but, as other pps have said they were generally well behaved.

The problem is not children in restaurants but parents who can't/won't control their kids.

"I’ve been out for meals where the restaurant is full of people talking louder and louder and LOUDER as they work their way through bottles of fancy wine. I’d rather hear a happy baby laughing than a bunch of drunk idiots wanging on about nonsense"

Totally agree with the above, I've had more meals overshadowed by loud arrogant adults at the next table than by children of any age.

YABU

YANBU- but I’m not sure it’s the restaurant’s fault. We’ve only just started taking our kids out to restaurants at that time, the youngest is 9. Before we would go earlier 5-6, or to pizza or burger places.

parents should realise that’s no fun for anyone when they are that little, and it’s adult time. We’re just back from Italy and surprised to find it much the same, no small kids out at that time.

I wouldn't call Pizza Hut a cheap restaurant, but I've never been to a snobby restaurant before. £20 for a pizza in pizza hut, do posh restaurants really charge much more?

OP I have 3 children myself and I too would be irritated. Eating at an expensive restaurant is a real luxury for me these days and I would want to enjoy my meal in peace not with screaming kids in my ear. 7.30pm is quite late, I would not take my 3 to a posh restaurant at that time and allow them to cause disturbance to other diners.
Btw I’m from a Mediterranean background too but that doesn’t mean adults don’t like time away from noisy children!

I do think I and other diners deserve a peaceful meal in a private establishment that is charging us a fortune for the privilege.

Honestly this is just crazy😂
Unless the restaurant was called “peaceful” and has a noise policy you can’t expect a peaceful restaurant.

If you want peaceful. Eat at home. Alone. In silence.

This ^^

This is a poor show. This restaurant needs to change its policy on child diners. Horrific waste of monetpy and ruined evening.

Jesus Christ, the kid was crawling on the window sill behind OP's head. How is that not bothering someone?

I think FlissyPaps must have very low standards.

YANBU. I’m the parent of a noisy, boisterous English kid. I’d never dream of taking him to an expensive restaurant at 730pm where it’s clearly not a family restaurant.

Its less about the kids and more the parents in this situation- if you take your kids out, make sure they behave.

I always chuckle at all these English posters saying how wonderful it is in Italy/France/ Spain where kids are indulged and stay up in evenings.

parenting is stricter in these countries and the kids are generally better behaved as a result.

Ive also seen kids in Italy and France regularly getting slapped in the face for mis- behaving! There’s a reason they behave!! ( I’m anti smacking btw)

OP- you’re right about English kids. Honestly the most indulged kids I’ve ever seen. I was brought up in Scotland and was shocked when visiting English cousins and the behaviour they got away with!

It's wholly dependent on the kids. We took ours out at 6pm when they were younger but they're now 6 and 8 and we can eat out at 8pm and they engage with the table and have conversation. They neither run around nor sit the whole time on screens. I'd be cross if there was a blanket ban because some people's kids misbehaved.
We spent a lot of time at family friendly, Italian local restaurants until we knew they could behave and engage appropriately and now we can go out somewhere a bit more grown up.
It's an absolute joy. Watching DS6 ask the waitress if he could have a small portion off the adult menu because "I think it sounds tastier than chicken nuggets' had the chef coming out to say thanks at the end of the evening 😂
The parents should have dealt with it better and yes, the restaurant (providing it's not a local Italian or a Nandos where that kind of behaviour is more tolerated) should have dealt with it better.