Re children in restaurant

[Arbesque]

Four of us booked a table in an expensive restaurant last night for 7.30.
About 10 minutes after we'd sat down a couple came in pushing a buggy and with 2 other children in tow. They were seated at the table beside us.
One child kept bashing his spoon off the table, another kept crawling along the wide windowsill so that he was right behind my head, and the baby was kept amused by the father playing peek a boo while she screamed excitedly. This went on and on.

We asked to be moved to another table. There were none available.Then the baby started crying loudly and the toddler got tired and cranky and joined the wailing.

We left without dessert and complained on the way out. They knocked the price of a bottle of wine off our bill.

AIBU to think expensive restaurants, charging a fortune, should have a policy for dealing with situations like this?

We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn't enjoy.

I just find it really strange how people can be so wound up over the existence of children. This is Mumsnet. For mums. Why do so many mums hate children😂

I don't hate children. Just the entitled parents who think that only there comfort and enjoyment matters. It's not the children's fault they have crap lazy parents.

A child crawling behind them and another one playing with cutlery & doing peekaboo. Jesus. I’d dread to think what these high-end expensive meal goers think of McDonald’s or a Wacky Warehouse.

I wouldnt go for a meal with adult friends to Macdonald's or wacky warehouse. 🙄

I'm a British mum and I don't normally take my children to restaurants because I know that they don't have the attention span to sit down for a nice meal, but the problem with doing so is they will probably never be able to experience that or learn how to behave in a restaurant because they don't get exposed to it. They are very young though. I took my husband out for a father's day meal at a local chinese restaurant and we ended up leaving early because the children just can't sit still for long plus the baby hadn't napped so got cranky. Hopefully as they get older their attention spans will improve and maybe eventually we'll be able to go out for a nice meal as a family. But for now if we want to eat out we'll stick to child friendly places like McDonald's or our family friendly pub.

How else do you teach children how to behave and act in specific establishments.

There are restaurants for different occasions though. There are plenty of family friendly restaurants in the UK, likewise there are upmarket restaurants in Italy and Spain that aren't suitable for young/lively children too.

Obviously not the kids fault - we all have to learn, But ~ you learn by your parents example and guidance which was not good here. Yes restaurants should have a strategy for dealing with this surely - because its not uncommon.

"I'd prefer it too if there were Adult-Only flights - but that's another subject wind-up parents"

Not necessarily, but perhaps a designated area. The hold, maybe?

It you do not have children then you may be ignorant as to how difficult it can be for parents to go out and enjoy themselves and with their children.

I hate this patronising stuff. It is perfectly understandable that having young children is difficult, which is why you avoid places where other diners are likely to have high expectations of their experience and therefore there is more pressure on you to ensure good behaviour. Parents failing to do that is on them, not on everyone else to accept having their meals ruined it.

I’m sorry that you think children crawling and interacting with their parents is seen as misbehaving. That’s really sad

The op isn't the child's parent. Maybe if the child had stayed at its table with its actual parents rather than bothering other people, the op would have found it more tolerable.

I remember being with my toddler grandkids at pretty classy restaurant which catered well with children giving them breadsticks and menus to colour in all lovely, booked in 6 pm, at the end of the meal in a full restaurant at about 8pm the two year old, who had been a bit grizzly , stood up on her seat and projectile vomited all over the table and her parents. Awful. felt so awful for everyone never been back.
On the other hand I have a friend who owns a couple of restaurants and children are not allowed… she gets a lot of flak for that.
It’s true though the British culture is not at ease with late evening mixed family eateries. In hot countries many families sleep in the afternoon snd mix in the cooler evenings. Not how we have ever done it. We don’t regularly eat out with our parents and grandparents either..sad but true.

Not necessarily, but perhaps a designated area. The hold, maybe?

That would probably work better for the kids. A series of dog cages in the hold might work for them.

Where did I say the OP was the child’s parents?

Im talking about the child who was playing peekaboo. They were interacting with their parents!
I don’t see that as misbehaving.

Nor do I see a child crawling as misbehaving.

Love this. And yes you are completely 100% right. What depresses me is when I come across kids that are obviously shut down. Meek and timid, especially among adults. Lacking confidence. Withdrawn. Seen so many of these children. Used to teach primary. Either seeking constant approval or completely trapped inside a shell. The kids I worried about weren't the disruptive ones.

The UK is not a very child friendly place. The upperclasses ship them off to boarding schools, thereby propagating a vicious circle of mental illness (www.theguardian.com/books/2015/jun/08/boarding-school-syndrome-joy-schaverien-review). This attitude trickles down till it finds the MN classes, who espouse this 'children are only acceptable if they behave like adults' stuff.

That isn't to say I would bring my son to a michelin starred 200 £ a head place when he was 2. It would have been a miserable experience for all concerned (mostly him). Neither do I think I have to scold him into obedience for the sake of random intolerant adults who obviously are prejudiced against children. The amount of threads on here about children making noise (usually termed shrieking), even in their own gardens...

My job as a parent is not to peck and dominate my child such that he becomes acceptable to people who obviously do not like children.

Nor do I see a child crawling as misbehaving.

A child crawling in and of itself isn’t. A child crawling on a stranger’s head is, which I assume is why you strangely omitted that part.

Nor do I see a child crawling as misbehaving.

Clearly not. Even if brat child is not interacting with its own parents, and lazy parents are letting them do that so they can enjoy their own dinner. Maybe you are the parent of the brat gang. Your parenting style sounds similar.

I'm amazed anyone thinks it's appropriate for toddlers to be crawling in any restaurant, regardless of price. It's an accident waiting to happen with wait staff carrying hot food and drink and perhaps not being able to see beneath their feet.
But hey as long as Arlo is free to express himself, who cares?

lots of restaurants don’t allow kids in at evening - know for next time to check :-) it is annoying when you wanted an adult evening. But I think you are being a little unreasonable here.

My point exactly

Simply don’t go out next time. Weird.

That’d be the waitstaff’s fault. If they didn’t want to put up with free range kids then they should’ve worked in an adult only restaurant. Obvs.

Yes, I would find this a total PITA. The posters talking about Italian restaurants being child friendly are missing the point: the point being that the OP had booked an expensive meal out and expected ‘adult time.’
Perhaps the parents were pretty well off and eating at expensive restaurants was no big deal. I could never have afforded to take my children to expensive restaurants.
I have eaten at expensive places but, for me, it’s a once a year/once every 2 years experience and I expect it to be special.
And the Italian restaurants? It’s mostly the women who end up saddled with the kids.

But the child wasn’t crawling on OP’s head?

That’s physically impossible!!!!

The child was crawling behind the OP. The OP is just snobby and entitled and obviously doesn’t think children should be allowed in an “expensive” restaurant where adults deserve “peace”.

I feel sorry for your kids if you label them as “brats” for daring to crawl and play peekaboo. Seriously.

WOW! This is one of the most prejudice things I ve read on this thread. It shows why this isnt a thread about someone complaining about unreasonable behaviour but a thread simply showing how prejudice against children works.

Is there any other group of human beings you feel like this about? Do you think the elderly shouldn't be allowed on flights? Or perhaps you d prefer whites only flights?

The child was crawling behind the OP. The OP is just snobby and entitled and obviously doesn’t think children should be allowed in an “expensive” restaurant where adults deserve “peace”

I'll go further than the op and say people like you shouldn't be there either. If you can't behave yourself in public, and it clearly sounds as though you can't, then stay at home.

On, behind, you knew what I meant and it makes no odds as it clearly isn’t acceptable.

The OP just believes that she’s shouldn’t have to be disturbed by children being wound up to screaming and crawling behind her head at a restaurant. She has mentioned the presence of other children at the restaurant who were behaving fine, so it isn’t about all children, only the ones not being parented. Accordingly, I agree with her.

WOW! This is one of the most prejudice things I ve read on this thread. It shows why this isnt a thread about someone complaining about unreasonable behaviour but a thread simply showing how prejudice against children works.

Is there any other group of human beings you feel like this about? Do you think the elderly shouldn't be allowed on flights? Or perhaps you d prefer whites only flights?

Nah. Just kids that can't behave themselves. And their parents too. They can sit together and enjoy each others obnoxious company. 😉