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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think size 18 is plus size and not 'hardly plus size'

1000 replies

sanddownthatwall · 22/08/2022 00:09

The poster, with a very large following, is saying a size 18 isn't really plus size by much, and that 'most people (in the UK), are above a Size 16?

Really? I don't know that many people above a size 16. I really don't. I know lots and lots of size 12/14 and thought that was about average? It's usually the first sizes to sell out

www.instagram.com/p/ChiDp-1Mos3/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
Howabsolutelyfanfuckingtastic · 22/08/2022 21:38

I would class size 16 or 18 as plus size. I class size a size 10-12 as average. I don't think it matters apart from when choosing clothes in shops but that's my opinion on the subject.

Lineala · 22/08/2022 21:40

Bubblebubblebah · 22/08/2022 18:34

Unless i misread size 6 has waist 60-64 cm? That's not anorexic waist😳 i had that until about 24 and was nowhere near anorexia. I did have massive boobs and hips.

Nobody has suggested that looking at the cost to the NHS is a deterrent to obesity. What I'm seeing on this thread is some denial of the true cost to a person's health particularly when they fall into the obese and morbidly obese category.

There is also another side to the obesity theme and that is that it is quite difficult for some to eat healthily and diet whilst in poverty, and that's only going to get worse.

Does anyone who has school age children know whether cooking and nutrition is even taught nowadays?

whenwillthemadnessend · 22/08/2022 21:42

Prehaps this was based on 1960s dress Making sizes.

Vintage clothes from 60/70 only fit me if 2/3 sizes bigger than my modern size.

It's very hard to get vintage to fit me now at a modern 14.

Lineala · 22/08/2022 21:42

45 years ago a size 10 was a 22 inch waist.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 22/08/2022 21:43

Food and nutrition is taught. All secondary schools should teach it by law. It was introduced as a legal requirement about 10 years ago.

But as schools may only have an hour a fortnight for lessons, they don’t get to do much.

anon666 · 22/08/2022 22:17

@linela I think you'll find the biggest killer in the UK and in fact worldwide is old age. 😂😂

It's like the argument that smokers are "costing the NHS" money. They're not, they are net contributers via taxation. They don't live as long, saving a fortune in pensions, care homes and lots of other costs to society of being old and dependent.

Honestly, you should be thanking obese people for shuffling off this mortal coil sooner, because yes it affects life expectancy. But the greatest myth is that this costs society so much more. When you add in social care costs, of the poor old souls in care homes with dementia it soon racks up!!

Waspo · 22/08/2022 22:29

Aussiedream · 22/08/2022 07:34

@Waspo do you live in an affluent area and/or are your kids at a private school? Research shows that weight and income are strongly correlated (as one goes up the other goes down). I’m a size 12 and am by far the largest of any of my friends, or acquaintance at the school gate.

That's interesting - kids aren't at private school but I do live on the outskirts of an affluent area and most of my friends / kids' friends are significantly richer than me.
Ive never thought I'm fat cos I'm poor, it's a whole melting pot of mental health, physical health /meds and a very disordered relationship with food, but I guess if I were wealthy then some of these would be negated.
My skinniest friends are definitely my richest friends though! Maybe they just work hard to look good in a bikini on all their posh holidays 😁😂

TeapotTitties · 22/08/2022 22:38

CountFoscoslittlewhitemice · 22/08/2022 18:58

This thread has really depressed me.
A year ago I was a size 20 (5'8"). I have spent the last year losing weight (5stones) and am now a healthy bmi and a size 14. I was feeling so proud and good about myself for the first time in a long time. But, thanks to this charming thread, I find that I'm still fat and unhealthy.
I do think people who start these threads ( and claim so disingenuously that they're not being judgmental,just stating facts) should think before they post. Not everyone has a perfect life, shit happens and some people deal with that by eating. They know they're fucking fat they really don't need you to tell them how unhealthy they are. They'll deal with it when they have the emotional energy and mental bandwidth to do so. You're fake concern makes that time retreat further into the distance.

But, thanks to this charming thread, I find that I'm still fat and unhealthy.

That's a bit silly and quite manipulative.

You are what you are and if you think you might be fat and unhealthy, you need to listen to your doctor, not internet posters having a discussion.

Richielogic · 23/08/2022 01:48

WTFDIK I still think size 18 is well sexy, give me curves any day over skinny.

Ridiculous thread, all its done is depress girls with fuller figures into thinking they need to be skinny. Don't do it to yourselves ladies, not everyone wants this.

TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet · 23/08/2022 02:05

Hey laydees, let's all ignore our health and the broader social issues, @Richielogic thinks us fat guuurls are fuckable and that's all that matters.

Richielogic · 23/08/2022 02:30

@TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet
Health issues yes, however just being a size 18 does NOT make you unhealthy so lets not put every plus size girl, if that's how you want to class them, as unhealthy.
Social Issues no. Fck what others think, this is half the problem here, seeing these bloody photoshop images and thinking that's what you should look like and some here endorsing that you need to be smaller - you don't
Be healthy and confident in your own skin, yes.
I have met some beautiful women size 22, full of fun, healthy fit and great to be around. Equally i have met some dam miserable skinny size 10's, no fun at all. Each to own i say

louislong · 23/08/2022 03:14

Average size is a 16 , 18 isn't considered large or very large as some would like to add .

I am not a size 16 or 18 but I buy size 16 tops because I have huge breasts and I won't wear my normal size to make them look bigger .

I don't shop with a size in mind . If it fits I will wear it . We are too obsessed with sizes of clothes . Every shop has their own cuts and they confuse the hell out of us into knowing what size we are . So what I say is , if it fits wear it . Don't worry about the next person .

Maybebabyno2 · 23/08/2022 04:48

My bmi is in the top end of the healthy range, I am 5f 6" and weigh 10st 10lbs. I have clothes ranging from a size 8 - 16. It depends on the shop and then depends on the style. I have a tshirt from newlook which is an 8, I also wear a jumpsuit from there in a 16. It makes zero sense.

We should get rid of number sizings and just go with measurements like men, sooo much easier!

2boysand1princess · 23/08/2022 05:05

WhatALotOfAFussAboutNothing · 22/08/2022 18:28

Do you feel the same way about size 6? Because I think a size 6 is like a child size and can’t belong to an average healthy adult human woman but I see that sold everywhere despite only ever knowing people with anorexia to be a 6. But for some reason being unhealthily UNDER weight is deemed ok whereas god forbid someone be plus size!

I’m a size 6-8. Usually 8 but often dip to 6 when stressed/lack of sleep/I’ll etc.
I’m not anorexic at all, eat well just can’t maintain weight for long. don’t think it’s fair to assume all size 6 people are anorexics.
Anyway, I agree that when I’m a size 6, I don’t consider myself as healthy. In fact I hate it. I feel unhealthy and lethargic. When I’m a size 8 I feel just about healthy.

Paq · 23/08/2022 06:50

I have met some beautiful women size 22, full of fun, healthy fit and great to be around.

I don't doubt that you can be a size 22 and full of fun. I don't gaf about "beautiful" because women are more than ornaments. I do, however, doubt that a woman can be size 22 and maintain long term good health. She would be a serious outlier.

CoopsMalloops · 23/08/2022 07:40

Size 16 is the average size in the UK.

I am a 12/14 but I am not overweight. Shape/height/composition has a lot to do to contribute to dress size, not just weight but yeh, 16 is average.

Bubblebubblebah · 23/08/2022 07:47

Richielogic · 23/08/2022 01:48

WTFDIK I still think size 18 is well sexy, give me curves any day over skinny.

Ridiculous thread, all its done is depress girls with fuller figures into thinking they need to be skinny. Don't do it to yourselves ladies, not everyone wants this.

As size 18, formerly 22, formerly formerly 12, I can report that the bigger does not mean curvy. I don't get where that name came from. And it's not that I am come exception going by pics of others....
Harsh but yeah.

MsTSwift · 23/08/2022 08:11

As you age it’s an effort to stay in the normal bmi. I was effortlessly slim but got to bmi 27. Had to completely overhaul my lifestyle- intermittent fasting and daily cardio only way I can stay a size 10 in my late 40s. All good though feel much better for it.

DilemmaDelilah · 23/08/2022 08:17

I wasn't going to comment on this thread but way to go OP. I'm not sure you could have posted something more guaranteed to make us fat girls feel bad. Most of us already know about how our size affects our health, and how we are perceived by skinny people, and what we should be doing to reduce our weight. For a lot of us it just isn't that easy. For me - being a size 18 is aspirational. I'm not sure what age group you are (and no.... I haven't rtft. I couldn't get past the first few fatty bashing posts) but I'm guessing definitely under 40. Just because you and your friends are all slim/skinny it doesn't mean there aren't many many people who arent, even in your age range. YANBU to think whatever you like. YADBVU to express those thoughts in that way.

LindsayStauffer · 23/08/2022 08:23

A few comments saying 'fat people know they're fat, they don't need to be told'.

Some do, but plenty don't. I remember reading some research not too long ago (can't seem to find it now) that examined the opinions of women of various BMI scores on their own weight and the categories of underweight, healthy, overweight, obese and morbidly obese. Loads and loads of women who were obese thought they were merely somewhat overweight, loads of women who saw images of someone who was overweight thought they were normal weight. Very few people were actually self aware enough to be able to say yep, I'm obese, or I'm overweight, instead often blaming the tool and saying it was too strict or unfeasible to be a healthy weight.

Research studies have indicated that someone who is aware that they're overweight or obese is more likely to lose weight, someone who is overweight/obese and perceives their weight to be 'normal' or healthy is more likely to gain weight. Hence why doctors assess for a patient's awareness of their size by asking 'how do you feel about your weight?' because people who are in denial or unable to recognise that they are overweight/obese need more focused attention to help them recognise and come to terms with the reality.

I'd never advocate for someone walking up to a stranger and calling them fat, that's horrible and I know it happens. But we do need to be able to listen to actual doctors when they try initiate a discussion around weight instead of crying 'fatphobia', we do need to empower people to have gentle and respectful conversations with loved ones who are ballooning to see what else might be going on and whether they need any assistance or support. It shouldn't be a taboo topic, especially when it's the majority of the population that are overweight or obese.

Ithinkitsenoughnow · 23/08/2022 08:44

LindsayStauffer · 23/08/2022 08:23

A few comments saying 'fat people know they're fat, they don't need to be told'.

Some do, but plenty don't. I remember reading some research not too long ago (can't seem to find it now) that examined the opinions of women of various BMI scores on their own weight and the categories of underweight, healthy, overweight, obese and morbidly obese. Loads and loads of women who were obese thought they were merely somewhat overweight, loads of women who saw images of someone who was overweight thought they were normal weight. Very few people were actually self aware enough to be able to say yep, I'm obese, or I'm overweight, instead often blaming the tool and saying it was too strict or unfeasible to be a healthy weight.

Research studies have indicated that someone who is aware that they're overweight or obese is more likely to lose weight, someone who is overweight/obese and perceives their weight to be 'normal' or healthy is more likely to gain weight. Hence why doctors assess for a patient's awareness of their size by asking 'how do you feel about your weight?' because people who are in denial or unable to recognise that they are overweight/obese need more focused attention to help them recognise and come to terms with the reality.

I'd never advocate for someone walking up to a stranger and calling them fat, that's horrible and I know it happens. But we do need to be able to listen to actual doctors when they try initiate a discussion around weight instead of crying 'fatphobia', we do need to empower people to have gentle and respectful conversations with loved ones who are ballooning to see what else might be going on and whether they need any assistance or support. It shouldn't be a taboo topic, especially when it's the majority of the population that are overweight or obese.

This.

my BMI is currently in the “normal” range but I can assure you I have fat on me that should not be there. BMI is a crap tool.

Winederlust · 23/08/2022 08:52

NRTFT but aren't you missing the point of the Instagram post somewhat? It's about a fashion line which is now claiming to cater to 'plus sizes' but actually only goes up to an 18.
I don't think anyone is denying that 18 is plus size but it's at the lower end of the scale, so to not go beyond that size is hardly catering for the plus size market.
That's the point of the Instagram post, surely?

User45446 · 23/08/2022 08:52

LindsayStauffer · 23/08/2022 08:23

A few comments saying 'fat people know they're fat, they don't need to be told'.

Some do, but plenty don't. I remember reading some research not too long ago (can't seem to find it now) that examined the opinions of women of various BMI scores on their own weight and the categories of underweight, healthy, overweight, obese and morbidly obese. Loads and loads of women who were obese thought they were merely somewhat overweight, loads of women who saw images of someone who was overweight thought they were normal weight. Very few people were actually self aware enough to be able to say yep, I'm obese, or I'm overweight, instead often blaming the tool and saying it was too strict or unfeasible to be a healthy weight.

Research studies have indicated that someone who is aware that they're overweight or obese is more likely to lose weight, someone who is overweight/obese and perceives their weight to be 'normal' or healthy is more likely to gain weight. Hence why doctors assess for a patient's awareness of their size by asking 'how do you feel about your weight?' because people who are in denial or unable to recognise that they are overweight/obese need more focused attention to help them recognise and come to terms with the reality.

I'd never advocate for someone walking up to a stranger and calling them fat, that's horrible and I know it happens. But we do need to be able to listen to actual doctors when they try initiate a discussion around weight instead of crying 'fatphobia', we do need to empower people to have gentle and respectful conversations with loved ones who are ballooning to see what else might be going on and whether they need any assistance or support. It shouldn't be a taboo topic, especially when it's the majority of the population that are overweight or obese.

What you are talking about is denial? Denial as a defence mechanism can be really strong and many people use it for different reasons. I wonder why is that denial so strong? I'm no scientist but it is very important for most people to be accepted by the world that surrounds them, if they feel they aren't (or won't be) accepted then this can affect them strongly. Some options available to them are they can look for a place that will accept them (body positivity forums), or they go on crash diets and really begin to dislike and judge themselves. Neither are safe places to go. Acceptance can help people let go of denial. Threads like this and judgemental posters make the situation worse.

So, no, I don't think you are not fixing the situation by making sure people know how big they are, in an environment that does not accept them for their size. That's one of the reasons why people tend to lose weight when they are ready to accept the reality and how it affects them, and they struggle before that point.

But I do see what you are trying to say.

Bubblebubblebah · 23/08/2022 09:47

User45446 · 23/08/2022 08:52

What you are talking about is denial? Denial as a defence mechanism can be really strong and many people use it for different reasons. I wonder why is that denial so strong? I'm no scientist but it is very important for most people to be accepted by the world that surrounds them, if they feel they aren't (or won't be) accepted then this can affect them strongly. Some options available to them are they can look for a place that will accept them (body positivity forums), or they go on crash diets and really begin to dislike and judge themselves. Neither are safe places to go. Acceptance can help people let go of denial. Threads like this and judgemental posters make the situation worse.

So, no, I don't think you are not fixing the situation by making sure people know how big they are, in an environment that does not accept them for their size. That's one of the reasons why people tend to lose weight when they are ready to accept the reality and how it affects them, and they struggle before that point.

But I do see what you are trying to say.

I actually think that lots of the really strong denial is caused by "acceptance" and "you are fine!". It feeds it. It feeds the avoidance of "oh, nope actually, need to do something now" until it's too much. It's always easier to lose 20 pounds than 100😐
I have grossly underestimated my weight for a year and the shock if real weight was just... Absolute shock to me. I am not stupid. I knew I was fat, but didn't (want to) realise the whole extent of it.... I was never bullied for being fat, I am happy bunny either way personality wose, BUT I think the fact that no one ever said anything at all wasn't that helpful... If I am making sense.
And then people also shut up when you lose a smaller person's weight.

Talking about weight in factual matter should be allowed.

Kell91 · 23/08/2022 09:50

I bet you look amazing size 14 is an healthy size at 5ft8 in height xx

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